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breathe easy

sudah pukul 6 pagi, selamat pagi Malaysia :)
again, i didn't sleep. haha this is anotha record ppl, i dun give a damn anymore about my eyes. haha
but i avent sleep in 4 days already :)

haha the last time i slept was only for 2 hours X) itu pun sebab otw nk gi wedding. boring sgt. XD

"the assasin"
"mr. mangorium's wonder emporium" good movie
"pitch black"
"the last man on earth"

me and jojot used to have this fanatic love for EMMA WATSON when we were lil :D. no! we're not les, we just admire her :) haha

seriously, ave u seen her in the first movie of Harry Potter? totally cute! well, that fanatic hobbies was so like ages ago. and suddenly while i was watching hbo's trailer, i saw this new movie " the tale of desperaux" totally cute and sweet. and was really SHOCKED when i found out that emma watson is in the voice casting for the movie. believe me, izzat was there to be da victim. i SCREAMED. haha XD the tambah pula dgn BEDTIME STORIES nyer trailer. god! ave i told u that BUGSY IS CUTE!!!! XD i wish i ave pet like that :)

kawan, sila penuhkan dompet2 kamu. sebab saya sudah penuh kan saya punya :D

saya akan tarik sesiapa saja kuar biler saya balik cameron. so be prepared ;)

oh miyo, biler nk sign kontract ni? dh lame tunggu ni ;) atok jom2! mari kite nyanyi XD saya nk tambh duit lebih skit :D miyo, i'm gonna start my piano lessons next month. i am definitely hoping u will be at the mall. phm??? itukan rumah pertama kamu haha XD baskin robbins :9 can't wait for that! XD

aduh dh 6.30 plak... ok la see ya soon ppl! ave a great end of year! and happy new year :D sebab saya xkn online selama seminggu, so sebab itu kene ckp skrg haha XD

maafkan segala kesalahan saya selama setahun ni, next year saya akn buat lagi haha! xde ar. mari kite buang yg keruh ambik yg jernih. ( diam miyo, jgn ckp psl kentut and all that crap stuff. eww -___-") lets close the book and start a new chp of life :) shall we?

ps; i love u more and more no matter where u. :)
eventhou we ave drifted far apart
but u will always be in my heart
i feel u by my side
every second of my life :)

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Friday, December 26, 2008 6:05 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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content :)

going to cameron highland tomorrow. dunno whether jadi ke tak, dun care. i dun really like family trip but wut the heck. i really wish i cud stay at jojot's hse instead but daddy was making his face when i talked about the sleepover thingy. ugh... 0___0

i went through today with happy face and jolly heart. well if u scratch the part where i failed making zaki feel better -_-" then u can consider i'm happy through the whole day.
zaki is so much btter in making me happy. or anybody. oh well, he said at least i tried 0__0

well, i wish u gud luck. dun worry, they won't turn u down. i'm sure of it. i mean cmon. everybody knows ur a niner. mesti leh masuk nyer. possibly few days after these or maybe tomorrow u akn dpt invitation u. chill la! klu x dpt, i akn bagi i punyer ok? itupun klu i dpt gak -_-" haha

diorg kate diorg akn hand in invitation tu personally tpi i duduk kt 18. faraway from 9 la camne la tu -_-" haha xpe la, klu x dpt tu mybe ade hikmah. but zaki ur gonna get urs. i'm sure of it. even if u dun get it, they will allowed u to enter the prom for sure. the once in life time u always dream of. hope u enjoy :)

well i didn't enjoyed mine. the once in lifetime for me became the worst once in life time. well so far haha XD if i cud trade all the things in the world, i wud trade it just to change wut had happen at the prom :(
but fat chance that will happen, so i'm just gonna learn from my lesson :)

kpd sesiape yg memegang kad invitasi ( giler formal -_-") saya and zaki, tolong beritau ye :)
zaki is SO frustrated about it. kasihan dier :) haha

shahril! give me back the chemistry book! u dun need dat.. sengal seyh.. asl la aku leh bagi sume -_-"

ok, mybe i'm not good at making zaki feel better. but i noe for sure i did my best n i succeeded on helping farhah :)
i'm proud with myself for once :)
its good to feel alive.

yey! farhah dh cop i sbg da most secretive person eva ;P ok ok, its bad thing. yes i know mickey.. geez -_-"
yes farhah, i shud ave told u dat i was sad and aving my own problems *rolled eyes* ugh.. nk gedik psl masalah org tapi x tau nk handle masalah sendiri X) haha
dat is so u farhah. look at me! i'm helping other people even when i ave my own probs. cause i feel so much better after helping them :D at least by helping and motivating them, i motivate myself as well. :)
i seriously learn my lesson ar. no more fakey fakey. just wakey wakey :) haha

again, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ALIVE :)

u dun need to feel good by depending on other ppl, u just need u and FAITH :)
"good things will come for those who waits"

yes yes saya percaya, Allah :)

i had this habit ever since i was a child, i never finish eating what i ate. i mean even my favourite food. seriously, my parents tried everything just to make sure i dun waste any food but i just can't. i especially despise eating outside. i really hate it. oh weddings, ugh i remember. i went to these few weddings and all i eat.. or drink was either juice or plain water. i mean i can't eat. i'm too choosy. and trust me, i was VERY skinny. even my brothers had the same prob, so they force us to eat Appeton just to get our appetite on. well duh, thats wut appeton stands for. lol silly me X) and they even tot there was worms in our stomaches. it was common at that kind of century. they force us to eat this kind of medicine. hey u can't help and runaway from it when u ave a DAD who makes medicine -___-"

the reason i tell u all this is dat today, i ate at sushi king and for the first time, all that we ordered ( and trust me, when we order at sushi king.. its like ordering for 30 people. and thats not even enough. trust me, i'm still hungry -_-" ) we finish every single food that was on our table. 0___0 like whoa! haha seriously this is the first time i eva enjoy eating as a family. wish this cud happen more often. huh... but fat chance. later when we got bak home, my family starts to fight even over lil things. god... -__-"
haha, and for the first time, i was being greedy at sushi king. so advice ppl, do not eat with me if u pick sushi king as the spot. trust me, i'll be A MONSTER. haha mama like the salmon steak and ask angah alil bit from him. i ordered the same thing. i really like the salmon's skin, so i always save the best for the last :D
dad tot i dun want it so he offerd it to mum, i quickly snatched it n put it my bowl of rice. and my bro made a joke " whoa, terus sembunyi. haha" we all laughed :)

one set of salmon steak( fresh hot salmon with sauce& veggies and a bowl of rice)
one california roll :9
two new kind of sushi( i forgot its name -_-")
three sake ( salmon sushi fyi :9)
one eel sushi :) ( baru try, sedap plak!)
two smoked salmons
one takoyaki
one kanikama
one salmon
miso soup :)
japanese tea,ice lemon tea and YA kult haha XD

i repeat, I'M a MONSTER when i'm at sushi king :D

oh well, i'm happy :) and i told you so mama dan ddy. u never listen. note to self; always listen to farah :) cause u may not know what good it will do. n trust me, i noe its GOOD haha pdn muka mama, kene wat keje balik. X) hehe kejam nyer. sorry! len kali dgr ckp farah ek! klu x xkn hilang dokumen mama tu. :) and daddy 0_0 i stay up all nite in front of the computer, i do alot of assignment WITH komputers. god u think i'm so stupid? len kali dgr ye :) and itu la akibat nya tidak mendengar kata2 anak.

mama: farah lambat sgt. mama terus buat la. pastu mama save je. x tau lak hilang camtu :(

daddy: mane leh farah, mama dh save. xpe la daddy lagi tau. mesti ade nyer dokumen tu. daddy jadi superhero untuk selamatkan dier. bukan camtu farah. nanti hilang la segalanya. biarlah daddy buat. farah x tau!

in the end, they both lost the dokumen and they had to do it again, WITH MY HELP :)

i'm full of joy today weeeeee :)

ps; i love u, i miss u and i still need u :)

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3:55 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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tag by atok, bende lame XD

Starting time: 2:41 am
Name : fasya :)
Sisters : only me
Brothers : 2 elder 1 below
Shoe size : uk5
Height : idr -_-" 150 sumfing i guess 0_0 pendek, iye -_-"


Where do you live : oh shah alam :)

Have you ever been on a plane : yes

Swam in the ocean : i miss :(

Fallen asleep at school : haha rindu pn shuhana :D sorry cikgu!

Broken someone’s heart : who doesn't?

Fell off your chair : haha lala tolak! aww i miss :(

*

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes :(

Saved e-mails : yup :) he knows

What is your room like : need bigger room :/

What’s right beside you: abg pki boxer je 0_0

What is the last thing you ate : sushi king :D

*

Ever had...Chicken pox : x ingat 0_0

Sore throat : angah ckp daku suke menjerit time nyanyi haha XD mane x sakit

Broken nose : oh time along tumbuk -_-"

Do you believe in love at first sight : yeah i do. :) and i do believe love without a sight too, ALLAH :)

Like picnics : love :D

*

Who was/were...The last person you danced with : izzat :D i like to move it move it :D

Last made you smile : life :) oh and the memories of her with me :)

You last yelled at : farhah :D

Today did you...Talk to someone you like : wajib wajib *nods* haha :D

Kissed anyone : nop :)

Get sick : i'm healthy like a bunny :D

*

Talk to an ex : yeah..

Miss someone : alot...

Who do you really hate: i dun hate.

Do you like your hand-writing : not really but its mine so hantam saja la XD

Are your toe nails painted : nop

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : oh oh boleh Z? haha

What color shirt are you wearing now : stripes

*

Are you a friendly person : i guess haha 0_0

Do you have any pets : nop

Do you sleep with the TV on : i dun ave tv in my room, but if i do no way! save the earth babe! lol

What are you doing right now : wiping my tears, mickey! i hate u! y u ave to bring dis up again...

Can you handle the truth : i NEED the TRUTH

Are you closer to your mother or father : neither

Do you eat healthy : yes, i love veggie

*

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : of course, i'll keep it forever.

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : apparently i can't help it, i keep coming bak to him. sorry zaki :/

Are you loud or quiet most of the time : depends, but i'm loud lately :D

Are you confident : yes i am :)


*

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
i was 7? darjah satu, play in the band, boria, singing, traditional dance, and travel alot :D

*

5 things I would do if I were a billionair
save the children! save the people! save the world! bwk mama n kwn2 gi paris and shop till we drop :D and last but not least, buy and island full of toys and games for me and zaki to play and dance all day :0 haha giler xleh bla

*

5 of my bad habits
daynightdreaming, too emotional, mulut xde insurans :D, jealous yg giler2 X) and can't stop singing :D

*

5 places I've lived/living
shah alam, sungai petani, alor setar, London, adn back to shah alam again :D
*

5 people I'll tag
rajin, tidak pemalas, boring sgt, xde keje and suke berceloteh :D

end: 3:48 am, aih byk sgt menyimpang ni! XD ada byk sgt windows la X)

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2:40 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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miserable at best

M: I can't live without her. it hurts farah. pls help me

F: i do love him but i can't be with him farah. i dunno!

M: she's changing! she laughed at me when i was crying like hell!

F: i didn't mean to laughed. but u noe me, we're the same rite? i mean we can't be serious at times when we need to. and we laughed when we are depressed for no reasons. u understand rite, farah? plus i ave to lie to hurt him. to make him believe that i really dun love him anymore. but the truth is, i do!

M: i want second chance! i know i already get loads of chances already. but i realise i ave ruined everything again n again. but i've changed! see! i did wut u told me to. i aven't call or text her yet for 4 hours. farah, i realised how u feel when u broke up with zaki. pls help me!

F: i'm just doing this for his own good and mine too. i can't be for him always. i'm bored being controlled!

M: she totally ignore me... she flirts with other guys rite in front of me..she said she had lots of fun without me... i dunno her anymore..

F: i dun love him anymore. i luv being free!

M: i slapped her. she went too far. she acted like a totally bitch like any guy cud get her for only 10 bucks for one nite.

F: u dun need to worry farah, this is our prob. not urs. shut up mickey!

M: i noe it hurts u, but it hurts me as well. i juz cudn't control myself. i'm sorry farah if i hurt u. but because of i slapped her, she finally realised. thnk GOD.

F: i'm sorry farah. i know i was STUPID.

M: kesabaran i ada tahap dier farah. klu dier wat camni lagi, i x tau ar. i think ur rite. maybe she doesn't love me anymore. thats y she ask to breakup with me. xpe la. wtv it is. its done. lets just see what happen.

me: violence is not the solution. making urself look cheap is not u farhah. and damn i ave the rite to be worried about. 48 miscalled plak! y i ave the rite? because i dun want u guys to lose something so precious in urlife. u will neva see it until u lose it. but once its gone, ur neva gonna get it back. appreciate it while u ave it. breakingup is not the answer. just because ur not with him, doesn't mean u will focus on ur study. u'll remember him every second of ur life. u'll be sorry for what u have done to him. i dun want u guys to ruin ur life just like mine. this is not helping neither of u. look at urself. u both are in a miserable state. both crying but no one is telling the truth. trying to please one another but u can't even help urself up. sorry to say, but pathetic is not u farhah. pathetic is me. so dun be me. be urself.

i left them to settle it out on their own. the ends might not be really meet, but they will figure it out sumday.

MIYO, terima kasih kerana calling saya. memang time tu saya sedih giler. tpi awak telah hembus kan kata2 semangat yg dh lama saya x pernah dgr dari sesiapa pun tpi awak telah hidupkan semula ayat itu dlm hidup saya

" mungkin Allah terlalu sayang dengan kamu, sebab itu dier menguji Keimanan kamu dgn dugaan ini. jadi sayangilah Allah kembali"

miyo, saya nangis dgn kegembiraan. :) terima kasih... saya akan menmpuhi semua ini kerana Allah sayang saya. terima kasih.. saya akn anggap kesakitan yg mereka berikan ini bukan dari mereka tpi dari Allah untuk menguji betapa saya sayang pada Allah atau tidak. :)

Alhamdullillah...syukur saya rasa tenang. and zaki, its ok. i get it. i think its time for me to go alone and be strong. dun worry. u just keep ur promise. while i keep mine.

i love u my friends, lover, cousins. everybody, thank you :)

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 7:40 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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self destruct - random

i am totally crazy, posting three post in one day. i mean, who reads all this anyway? :|

i wonder if he's reading.. hem.. *morning dreaming* oh its 3.55 am? giler, bape lame lg aku akn jadi burung antu yg x tido langsung seyh? :| mata sudah sembap. i dun get it, sembap? how did they really come up with all these words? i wish i cud turn back time and see wut really happens in the past. ngeeh imaginasi yg liar. :)

sorry if i'm lame, but last nite, for the first time i get to see the full version of Transformers the movie. ( ugh.. i sound lame myself... no wonder i hate myself -__-" ). well daddy wasn't home, he's at india menjadi " pengedar dadah yg bertauliah". that coming from the man himself... weird 0_0

so nk kate kan family movie nite in, x kot. maybe siblings la. like four of us were cramping up the sofa infront of the plasma tv ( no wonder kerusi tu roboh -_-" ) and yeah.. it was ok. for once i wish my brothers are always like that. quiet, not babbling, doesnt give out orders, no mood swings and temper.. pergh.. for those who don't have brothers, ur one lucky kid. seriously i mean it! unless u ave sisters as well, like big ones. not small ones. u know how small sisters can be rite? 0_0 even lil brother...oh god, dun get me started on that! >,<

seriously, i need to get out of this house. shahril, u betta be at the mall today, or i will not, i repeat, i WILL not give u the books. naaah, juz kidding lol. i'm not as evil as u are. i think :D

ok sebab saya bored sgt, saya akn buat tag :| seriously, i'm killing myself. lock me up for suicide. X) and no atok. u shudn't be happy about this. abg saya akn kejar kamu jugak nanti haha

1. The last person to tag you was?
-xde sape tag pon, saya ambik sendiri dr atok X)

2. Your relationship with him/her?

kami musuh dalam selimut, eh that sounds so wrong! haha

3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?

-dh tue, mkn byk tido byk tpi x gemuk and besar gak XD, miyo kate saya menjerit biler dgr suare dier haha, giler bola, dan baik kot haha :)

4. The most memorable thing that she/he has ever done for you?

-dier menyanyi dgn saya

5. The most memorable word that she/he ever done for you?

- siap berbaju kebal? haha

6. If she/he becomes your lover, you will...

-freakout! 0_0 sudah bercerai nape nk bercinta lagi ;) haha

7. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will...

-x kisah, mmg kitorg musuh pun. haiyah! haha XD

8. If he/she become your lover, he/she have to improve on...

-making me love him? haha

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...

-um.. nyanyuk kot? haha tpi dier nyanyuk skrg pon kami still kwn kan? haha

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her are..

-jom duet :)

11. Overall impression towards him/her is..

- glad he is my friend :)

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?

-perempuan yg xde maruah? anak yg x sedar diri? kwn yg x gune? perempuan yg bodoh? she's back :) haha

13. Who is your ideal?

-you knw who u are

14. What do you hate about yourself?

-everything! haha ok not everything. but we all can't be perfect rite?

15. For the people who care for you and like you, say something about them?

-i love u no matter what :)

16. 5 people to tag answer

sila kan ambik sesiape yg berminat :)
-dia
-awak
-kamu
-mereka
-kita :)


sara, awak dh lama x update blog. bz ka? :/
and welcome to blogspot.com kak huda :)

i never tot rugrats cud be my last resort to getting my 'medicine'. yeah, laughter is the best medicine. everybody knows that. i dunno y, but i'm covering my head with my shirt. i can't help it, i keep thinking about this one guy that was in this movie. he almost look exactly like HIM. well ALMOST. i think i'm imagining stuff way beyond 'imagination' *ala2 spongebob* ok, this is offcially. i am totally a nutcase. panadol! pls help me again tonite -_-"

notes; i miss him. i miss her. i miss them. i miss me
i dun wanna make it hard on anybody especially HIM, but that just means i'm lying to myself. so what shud i do?
ugh... mickey, u shud be grateful to get the chance to be with farhah again. and i guess i can take this as a compliment " i hate it u at first, but u changed me." -_-"

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3:53 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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if u seek amy ; f.u.c.k. me - britney

sape ada lagu2 yg baru?
i'm kinda bored rite now. looking through my songs and i just can't get enough with new songs :|

oh YES! man, best giler. lawak dier x bodoh.
and i think time tu kot i sedar yg life has its way to turn from bad to good :)
actually we were planning to see Los and Faun, sebab ramai kata lawak giler. which sumfing that i really need now. excitement to get my pain of my chest.

but then tayangan dier dh tamat time tu, so i was really excited to see twillight but then abg2 aku dan kak anees x suke so terpaksa tgk yes! man. xpe la, x rugi ape2 pon. dan untung skit tgk kan?

rite now, i'm just waiting for harry potter. oh oh! bugsy comel!!! seriously, byk giler movie yg akn kuar best2 giler. for new year's eve, BEDTIME STORIES akn kuar! ADAM SANDLER BABE! GILER CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT. tolong ar, seriously. aku nk sgt kuar. anybody yg sudi jd prince charming utk selamat aku dari gari ini? haha nah, i nk jadi mcm cinderella kt dlm cinderella 3. she fights for what is true and what she deserve; her happily ever after. i want THAT. ok, so i watched cartoons? ape masalah? ramai yg still tgk what? so tolong jgn kutuk ye. kami bukan kanak2. kami CUME MELIHAT DUNIA DARI sudut kegembiraan. :)

oh quote from yes man ; " people these days forgets how to have fun and lost those precious moments when we were kids thinking that the world is a playground"

ur rite. the world is a playground. and we're just lil kiddies, trying to survive. if we get cut and bruises, we don't really care kan? we still keep on playing at the playground sebab nape? sebab kite suke EXCITEMENT :)

wanna noe sumfing? imagine a six year old boy, climbing a tall kitchen rak just to reach his cookies ( well in my situation, he tried to climbed it to get his tin milo, trying to make milo on his own -__-" )
and then suddenly his imaginative mind crawls way beyond everything, he suddenly flapped his wings and yelled " super man!!!" and jumped from that tall kitchen. and he didn't realise that below him awaits a concrite of floor and one thing for sure, he doesn't know he can't FLY :|

so bam! he felled on his face and head. he was bleeding like hell, but he didn't cry at all. he saw the blood and said, "farah, angah tgh cair la." and passed out. ambulans came and the rest is history. ye, kepala dier retak skit dan dikena kan jahitan. :|

lessons ; never leave ur kids alone with an irresponsibles maid.

and yes, this boy is my brother. AHMAD ZUL FIKRI BIN IBRAHIM. the boy who can't FLY :|

sesungguhnya, saya mengagumi abg saya sejak ari itu. i was only 4 years old back then and still walks around with my smelly teddy XD tpi mama buang lepas saya umur 5 tahun :/ sebab dier kte perempuan kene blaja jadi sopan. pffft ape2 je la.... i lived as the only girl with 3 boys in this house. trying to be a girl? is the most toughest part to survive. one rule, if u wanna beat them, u gotta be in it. oh well... flash back is good sumtimes ;)

movie nite out;pls ignore perempuan yg posing sakan itu, she's my sis in law to be, well not that soon XD

i like the lights since i was a child, thats y i love stars. dunno y but to me many variations of lights just mesmerized me. :)
and say hello to my two older brother, saya suruh diorg posing gitu, just to make it much more poyo-er in a pretty way. love the lights :)

bakal suami isteri -__-"


along poyo seyh..

pout? so don't look good on u along haha
ooooh kungfu panda! haha love popcorns :)

at the end of the day, while walking back after watching Yes! man, kak anees's feet were sore so she took off her toe-pump and...

yes ppl, she is bare foot. :|
and on her hands, she is holding her shoes. she walked all the way from the cineleisure to the curve's parking lot bare foot. one day, i wud like to do that.
boleh ka Z ?

" cinta yang tak kesampaian"

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 8:39 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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fighting the loneliness

i just realised that i helped alot of people but i can't even help myself with my own life.
pelik....
i mean i slapped farhah back to reality after she posted that sexy biatch picture.

oh saya mahu clarify sumfing tibe2,


Dec 20, 2008 8:21 PM
sorry i lmbt reply,
bend busy handling house work and all, dpt online sekejap je everyday :(
uggggggh seriously i dah mls nk pikir psl budak SENGAL tu. i mean, pikiran mcm keling! dh la, wtv it is, i'm gonna let him pay for what he did. OH he is SOOOOOOOOO GONNA REGRET. haha
evil kan i ni? but this is me. when ur in my game, u gotta play by my rule, if u cheat my game and play me instead. oh ur SO DEAD. haha
seriously, we ave to make that buletin title. i akn wat survey yg mmg mengutuk sume org ar.
and u tau x, nasquin yg poyo to backstab i. seriously, dier tau i tgh marah giler dgn zaki, dier leh lagi kuar dgn zaki. giler xleh bla!
i mean klu i dh breakup one month i understand. ini jgn kte one mnth. dua minggu pon x smpi! X(
seriously, i dh benci kwn2 i skrg ni. i rase selama ni i di pergunakan. bestfriend lame i pon mcm SENGAL SGT. i mean dh la terdedahkn aurat, pstu gunakan i hanya utk jumpe dgn boyfriend dier. eh ingat i ni ape????? pas utk dier kuar dri umah???!!! DAMN SEngal seyh...
seriously, mmg i pissed off. so skrg i vow akn rase empty selama2 nyer. xkn terlalu rapat dgn sesiape2 pon. xkn terlalu sgt nk mem please kn org len. pkir psl dri sendiri. klu sesiape yg nk sakitkn i pon, i dh x kisah. i dh penat and numb. wtv...
i'm strong on my own, i'm better off alone.
i ade u je nk percaya skrg. serious...
:(
u were the first to see me cry at 9 and ur still the last friend to be sticking with me rite now :)
love u babe!!!!


ayat yg di bold itu menerangkan pergaduhan saya dgn farhah. sile tanyer mickey boyfren dier atau pun farhah sendiri. terima kasih

oh yeah back to my main point, i mean... i helped mickey and all. and farhah said she just realised all that was wrong and right because of what i said. well i guess, thats the good thing about me idioticly starting a fight with my les fab girl. it slapped me back to reality and to see & say what is truly important. TELL THE TRUTH. well thats the only good part i guess. the bad part is that i lost her trust. GERAM -__-"

and well xpe la.. wlpun saya x dpt selamatkan hidup saya yg sudah hancur ini, at least saya dpt selamatkn hidup org len sebelum dier hancur mcm saya.

hem.. haha rasanyer saya menghancurkan lagi hidup saya, kenapa saya ckp begitu?

" NAS MENYESAL KENAL DENGAN FARAH"

yup, that coming from a guy who was so down to earth with me.

and tolong jgn kutuk my recent ex boyfriend ok. just because of what happen, doesn't mean that u know everything. and i just realise, that breakingup is not a bad thing. dari kita tipu diri sendiri? dari kita menyakitkan hati org yg kita sayang? betul tak?
so tolong la jgn kutuk apa yg berlaku pd hidup aku skrg. AGAIN, mcm la aku x sedar sendiri -__-"

like miyo said ( miyo, i'm so sorry for pushing u away... god i'm a bad person :( ), cinta x semestinya dpt memiliki, dan dpt memiliki x semestinya bahagia. dan jikalau bahagia, x semesti berkekalan. em em so so hait! *nods*

so nasrudin, hidup x kan selalu bahagia. saya anggap kesusahan yang menimpa saya ni sbg pengajaran hidup yg akn mencengkam hidup saya utk masa depan saya.
awak marah dan benci saya? saya faham. spt saya pernah katakan, saya mintak maaf kpd semua org beribu kali pun, xdpt menyelamatkan hidup saya yg berkecai ni.
so biarlah saya membawa bebanan ni utk mengajar saya jgn wat kesalahan lagi wlpun saya xleh lari dri wat kesalahan -_-"

aduh... asl la cuzin aku bagi aku lagu sedih... hem xpe la sesuai pun dgn keadaan skrg.. huh...

*dush!* gotta change! XD

pheew i smell like a fish X(

and thx jot for the song :( i'll be strong myself. for change starts within in me. last nite after talking to him, and listening to the song, i felt this strong urge within me. i've neva felt like this before. i shed my tears with a smile and look up to the sky and tell myself, yes... she's back. and she will not go anywhere anymore.

highlight of the week; he said " welcome back" with a smile. i can't see it, but i feel it in my heart :')

Sampai disini

Berat kaki melangkah

Memburu mimpi yang tidak lagi bernyawa

Kerana hati kasih

Enggan lagi bersama

Biarlah rindu bersemadi dalam jiwa

Sampai disini kasih

Gelora cinta yang terindah

Walau di hati pedih

Aku merana

Tersungkur aku dalam luka bila cinta yang dibina

Hanya untuk dipersia-sia

Biar aku yang merasai kesan pilu dalam hati

Sampai disini

Takdir untuk bercinta

asmara ini tidak lagi kesampaian

Selamat tinggal kasih

Ucapkan perpisahan

Biarlah cinta ini menjadi kenangan

terima kasih jot untuk lagu ini. maafkan sebab x dpt berjumpe lagi. dan maafkan sebab x ceritekan segala kepahitan hidup saya selama setahun ini. farah bukan xnk, cume.. biarlah farah je yg selami sume ni sorg. ini balasan atas segala perbuatan farah selama ni. nanti klu pjg umur, farah cite kot? haha just enjoy ur life while u have it jot. cause i dun ave it anymore. but i'm reliving it again, once more. eventhou its just memories *sigh

i'm addicted to britney's songs X) oh and i'm not lesbian la, just because i'm farhah's boyfriend 0_0
note to self, call zaki more often when he's blank haha, cause u may not know what he wud say haha XD

again, i really can't wait for halibilu. for the second time -__-" oh that reminds me, irham sihat ke? dh ready utk gi sabah ka? haha :)

angah sudah addicted to "SEDUCING MR. PERFECT" :D

weird hearing from my brother " daniel henney hot seyh, dh ar tinggi" 0_0 i hope my brother doesn't turn gay -__-"

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7:14 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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sad but happy, who cares?

9 is gossiping about me. hope their happy
they are crticizing. hope their happy
they don't know anything about the truth, but still think they know. hope their happy
a guy who once love me like hell, hates me like hell and seeking for vengeance. hope he's happy
and because of what he's done to me at prom nite, everybody including my recent ex are judging me and giving me all this stupid fucking assumption. hope their happy and i hope he's happy while i'm getting all the punishment from what he did.
i lost bestfriends that i dearly loved ( buduh ), hope their happy

i know all this shit came pouring down at me because of what i did. and i have realised and regret it but they don't really understand and get it... so i dun give a damn anymore
but blaming myself won't do me any good so, i'm trying to be better whether YOU believe it or not. what i believe that matters now. and what ALLAH knows that matters now. and what he feels that matters now :) you know who u are. dude!!!! x abeh2 dgn tu -__-"

bukan nk defend ke ape ar kan, u kuar dgn diorg before prom lagi.
but the thing is, aku buduh sgt nk jeles ape hal kan?
so, klu kwn aku x ajak kuar skali, apsal nk marah? itu hak dier gak kan? nape aku nk sengal sgt kutuk dier and marah x tentu psl?

and aku x pernah pggl u desperate ok, aku ade proof kt hp aku yg u yg tulis. aku x ckp pon.
u yg start ckp. bukan aku. and then sume org memutar belitkn segalanya.
ntah la...malas aku nk defend sumfing yg sume org x tahu kebenaran dier. hantam ar...ALLAH TAHU.

and i know whateva i say, won't do YOU any good. buat ape aku nk defend kpd sumone yg xnk dgr lagi dh. hati dier dh tertutup hitam. same la dgn laki bernama nasrudin ali. oh wait ape ko ckp tadi? nasrudin ali dh mati ek? oh aku perempuan bodoh? terima kasih nasrudin. appreciate that. mcm la aku x sedar sendiri ape yg berlaku skrg.

u noe wut, i dun give a damn anymore about this. i mean, berapa byk kali pon aku terangkan and bagi proof.. (and seriously klu masuk court pun, this is a great big evidence), ko still marah kt aku. and xde pape pon aku leh wat. aku berubah bagai nk rak pon, ko xkn percaya nyer. bagi kau, aku cume perempuan jalang dlm hidup.

ye, aku merana tnpa ada sesiapa lagi dh skrg. mungkin ini ape yg sume org nk kan?
dh la aku xde sesiape lg, korg still lg kutuk aku perempuan xde maruah. mungkin ini ape yg korg nk?
aku sedar kesalahan aku dan menyesal thp dewa dewi, tpi xde org percaya atau dgr ucapan maaf aku. mungkin ini ape yg diorg nk?
ntah la. aku x tau ape lg yg ko nk...seriously...

ALLAH,
Kau bukakanlah mata hati2 yg tertutup ni
Kau berikan aku petunjuk untuk melihat kebenaran di sebalik kesusahan yg Kau timpakan pada aku.
Dan berikan aku kekuatan untuk menempuhnya..

sengal seyh, asal ramai sgt breakup this month. kesian shahril and mickey -__-"
i'll try to help. i think. repent seyh! perrgh....
and mickey, ur seriously just exactly like me when i was in my first two weeks of breakup. u betta start thinking about urself or u will lose sumfing that u had just like me now -__-"
but i'm happy that i succeeded on getting u and farhah back togeva :)
start appreciating my bestfriend ok??? and stop controlling her too much... -__-"

farhah said i shud start thinking getting into councelling stuff. pfft, sengal seyh. sedangkan hidup aku pun x terurus, xde maknanyer.. but i wud like to help people. even if people hates me or so 0__0

argh! aku nk keluar dari kepompong ni seyh... x sggp aku hidup dlm umah ni.. kenapa aku xleh jadi selfish kejap? kenapa aku kene serve sebagai hamba di rumah ni???
aku jeles and geram tgk kwn2 aku leh kuar and enjoy dgn friends diorg sedangkan aku kt umah ni cuci pinggan mangkuk, masak and segala2 nyer. eh aku bukan maid laaaa. along angah ni pemalas ar....
aku nk kuar dgn cuzin pon xleh ke??
cuzin pon family jugak mama!! smpi ati diorg wat camni kat aku...
ish seriously, klu aku merana cmni pun korg x puas lagi, ape korg nk lg ar??? pelik ar..

dush...aku seriously xleh tido........

notes; went to sacc mall today and bumped with danial who works at bonia sale. haha.. and heard news about them again.. ugh... aku mls nk dgr seyh.. asal ramai sgt nk sakitkn ati aku skrg? korg suke hidup aku hancur ke? -________-" mybe... but wut the hell.. i dun care... penat... aku tgh enjoy masak nasi utk family aku haha -___-"

bonjour kapitan! ok i'm seriously crazy rite now. and thx for still believe in me :) you know who u are.. hurts, but i'm living.. AS ALWAYS. for once, i really can't wait for halibilu. haha weirdly enough -__-"



i love you!!!! 0_____0

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1:25 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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dancing queen


better. stronger. funner.

like britney spears, FASYA IS BACK. no no. not that emo fasya. FARAH SYAFIQAH BINTI IBRAHIM.
i'm stronger, braver, better, real, and the most important part; STRAIGHT TO THE POINT

like i said, my actions all this time making me feel like i'm SO stupid. so i'm changing myself.
yeah, i'm living with the guilt. but that doesn't mean i'm turning myself down. i have a life.
my world doesn't revolves around ANYBODY. i dun control theirs and they dun control me. i control ME.

u can criticize me, bad talk about me, but hell there's nothing u can do isn't it? jgn terasa org2 di luar. i'm not pointing fingers here. but in my blog, i do all the talking dude. ok? so mari saya straight forward dgn kamu. saya mmg bersalah dgn kamu. antara kamu nk maafkan, nasquin, itu hak kamu. (mmg pon duh...... bangang seyh aku ni)..... oh korg sume nk percaya atau tidak, sudeeeeeh... ku x heran lagi dah. all that i know i ave changed myself from bottom to top. whoa that sounds so wrong -____-"

baru je ingat nk wat surprise party seyh. haha XD xpe la.. klu pjg umur dn berkelayakan lagi di gelar kwn, saya buat KOT?

ok, saya sedar yg skrg ni, smks9 sdang bercerite hangat psl saya. terima kasih tini untuk info, at least there's sumfing i can clarify here.
first of all, korg hebat sgt ke nk kutuk aku hah? korg ckp ape yg korg nmpk je kan? korg nmpk ke masa aku nangis time prom tu? korg nmpk ke? oh that BITCH went dancing with nasrudin ali. sengal. seriously. seriously farhah, how cud u leave me alone that time? when i need u the most. after everything i did for u, and what i heard from mickey u already brokeup with him? wtf perempuan??? mcm tu je? huh, xpe la. yg penting ko sedar yg ko tu selfish and ko dh mintak maaf kt aku :) and aku kwn ko la! susah senang ko aku tetap kene tau n akn bantu ko syg, i'm ur boyfriend kan?haha XD fyi ppl, i'm still straight ok! XD and i'm stronger :) and xpe, ko pun ade masalah ko time tu.

i've realise i've done so many wrongs. but this time, i'm not gonna let this push me down again. i'm picking up the pieces. and standing so strong. oh hell yeah i'm FINE NOW. i'm not gonna fix this because of anybody. i'm not gonna change for anybody but me. rite now, everything is not for them, its for me and what i want. i dun give a damn anymore about wut they say about me. biarpi lah org sume fikir ape yg diorg fikir. all i know is that, what i know. and what ALLAh knows. biarlah aku sorg je yg tahu kebenaran. there's no reason for me to be intimidate by u guys. so go ahead. go bad talk about me. wtv, but remember dis. u dun noe anything. thats y ur spreading something that is not true. fuck, u dun even know what is true.

saya salah sebab ckp nasquin mcm tu. saya x ptt emosi sgt. saya dh sedar. skrg ni, saya nk ubah and stop talking about anybody. i'm thinking about me and only me. no more caring about wut they say and do. saya bodoh sebab marah bende yg x patut dan bangang sgt jealous.
i'm wrong for lying to myself. yeah, i danced with nasrudin. ya heard???? and i know it was wrong. and i still feel stupid for it. sorry la nasrudin, tpi ko sendiri sedar time tu aku tgh nangis kan? and ko boleh plak marah aku kt situ. ingat aku ni ape, patung ke? dh dh. cukup ko x yah nk marah aku lagi, ko xyah nk sakitkn ati aku. ye ye, mmg aku tgh bersendirian tnpa kwn skrg, tnpa sesiape. aku x kisah. like i said, i'm stronger. better. ur not gonna break me down anymore.no body will. only me. and fat chance i'm letting myself down again. u wanna leave me? go ahead. with all do respect, leave as u please. i'm gonna find a much more better life than this. cause i know, i DESERVE IT. i made alot of huge mistakes. i'm gonna fix it and stay strong till the end.

* in peace and tranquility *

EVERYBODY, listen up. huh... whether u guys believe it or not. i'm fine :) . with or without u guys. i'm living my life to the fullest. and i'm happy with it. i'm not gonna lie anymore. i'm not gonna let the time pass just like that. i'm gonna cherish every second that i ave.i'm not gonna do any stupid things anymore :)

yeah, i made alot of ppl hurt. i will fix it. if it doesn't work and they won't forgive me, i'm cool with that. all i know rite now, i'm just fine. no more crying.
i ave MOVED ON. i'm happy for me. x caya sudah haha XD

sudah la. malas nk ckp byk. haha
notes; oh saya pndi masak! weee :)
i guess 3 weeks of doing all the house work on my own worth it all. siapa mau kawen dgn saye? well, itu ape yg mama ckp la x abeh2 3 minggu ni haha ;)

no more hurting people, no more being so down. thats the new me :)

strong strong strong! oh i still love u guys no matter how much u guys hate and despise me ;)

les fab, i'm sorry!

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Sunday, December 21, 2008 11:48 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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a new me

saya BODOH.
ye, saya tau.
saya bodoh sebab cpt sgt percaya kan org.
saya bodoh sebab terlalu emosi
saya bodoh sebab terlalu mengikut perasaan
saya bodoh sebab tidak fikir dahulu
saya bodoh sebab terburu-buru
saya bodoh sebab saya tolak ke tepi kwn2 saya
saya bodoh sebab berkasar dgn kwn2 saya
saya bodoh sebab x pndi jaga kwn
saya bodoh sebab x pndi jaga hati seseorg
saya bodoh sebab x pndi menghargai sesuatu benda
saya bodoh sebab celupar
saya bodoh sebab x cakap terus terang
saya bodoh sebab terlalu menginginkn PERHATIAN
saya bodoh sebab terlalu PARANOID menyayangi boyfren saya
saya bodoh sebab x tahu malu
saya bodoh sebab biarkan saja
saya bodoh sebab cube utk menjadi yg terbaik
saya bodoh sebab x pernah pikirkn org lain
saya bodoh sebab x bertanya
saya bodoh sebab mempunyai perasaan cemburu
saya bodoh sebab x pernah cube memahami seseorg
saya bodoh sebab sentiasa melihat ke blakang
saya bodoh sebab saya menolak org yg sayang saya
saya bodoh sebab menolak kwn yg berusaha membantu saya
saya bodoh sebab x pernah meluahkn perasaan saya..
sungguh byk lagi yg saya bodoh

saya bodoh sebab menolak awak miyo, awak cume sedang membantu saya, tpi saya x hargai langsung
saya bodoh sebab xleh menerima awak kembali nasrudin, awak masih syg dgn saya, tpi saya telah ditelan oleh kasih syg saya pd si dia
saya bodoh sebab saya biarkan awak buat camtu kat saya, saya masih ada maruah lagi, saya masih syg dgn dier, saya menangis kerana dier pd mlm itu. maafkan saya
saya bodoh sebab x pernah cube memahami zaki
saya bodoh sebab cube menjadi perfect utk zaki
saya bodoh sebab celupar mengikut perasaan saya dn mengatakn sesuatu yg x patut ttg nasquin
saya bodoh sebab terlalu jealous kwn saya x rapat dgn saya
saya bodoh sebab membiarkan org lain bingung psl masalah saya
saya bodoh sebab membiarkan hidup saya mati mcm tu je
saya bodoh sebab x berterus terang bahawa, saya marah awak dpt kuar dgn zaki, tpi zaki x pernah nk kuar dgn saya.
saya bodoh sebab saya marah pd bende yg x patut di marahkan
saya bodoh sebab saya menyeksa semua org
saya bodoh sebab saya bergantung pd orang lain
saya bodoh sebab dier x percaya dgn saya lagi dah, sedangkan saya x pernah pon ckp atau panggil dier desperate atau nk disedekahkn
saya bodoh sebab saya x pertahankn dier
saya bodoh kerana melukakn hati saya sendiri dn anggota badan saya
saya bodoh sebab membuat tini,lala dan lain2 bingung
saya bodoh kerana saya terlalu lemah utk melepaskn sesuatu
saya bodoh sebab terlalu lemah utk hidup
saya bodoh kerana saya menipu diri saya
saya bodoh kerana melukakan hati semua org..
saya bodoh kerana saya terlalu sayangkan semua org..
saya bodoh sebab saya...
sebab saya adalah saya..

maafkan kebodohan saya, saya akn pergi dari sini. pergi jauh dari kamu semua. saya terima segala ni dgn rela hati. sebab saya tau kebodohan saya yg meletakkn saya dlm situasi ini. disebab kan saya sendirilah, saya terluka. dan disebabkan saya jugak la, saya akn berjuang utk hidup bersendirian. saya berjanji pd diri tidak akn menyakitkn ati sesiape lagi. mmg lumrah hidup kite akn buat sesuatu kesilapan dn kite xleh lari dri itu. saya x lari, saya cume mengelakkn diri. saya tidak akn rapat dgn sesiape lagi. saya mungkin lemah, tapi saya akn kuatkn jiwa saya. saya xnk berharap pd sesiape lagi. saya akn bantu mereka utk perubahan. dn pada masa yg sama saya bantu diri saya. saya xnk jadi BODOH dan PENTINGKAN DIRI.

saya nk jadi SAYA YG BENAR, JUJUR dan TAAT
ya Allah, Kau tunjukknlah jln yg benar, dn jgn kau pesongkn daku.
lindungilah mereka dari segala seksa dan bala di DUNIA dan AKHIRAT
sesungguhnya aku tiada lagi untuk berada di sisi mereka
jgnlah Kau butakan mata ku dan mereka
bukakanlah hati kami dan terangi hari2 kami dgn cahaya ketenangan dan keINSAFAN.
ampunilah dosa2 kami, dan berikan kami kekuatan untuk menjalani hidup ini
Kau kuatkn semangat ku untuk hidup, sesungguhnya aku hidup hanya untuk MU ya ALLAH


ps; mybe it sounds drastic, mybe it sounds pathetic to u too. but i'm not gonna lie anymore. this is the damn effing TRUTH. whether u believe it or not, its up to u. GOD KNOWS BETTER.
i'm changing who i am now, to be who i am better than before. i'm not seeking for sympathy or forgiveness, because that is too much for me to ask. i'm just seeking for miss independent within me. and finding my path to get back on track. i've lost the race that i put. so rite now, i am changing the course and making another track. and this time, i'm gonna stick with it. no more lazying around. not anymore. i'm gonna run, never gonna look back and slowing down.

i'm sorry for everything, just be happy without me. i will let u go so that i won't hurt u anymore. this time, i will shed my tears with stronger, better me.

notes; i went to the mall, and everything that had happen keeps flashing back in my mind. and only this i cud say, " i ave ended a perfect life with a stupid ending. i regret yet nothing will eva change with that feeling. so i'm gonna start from the bottom again. i may bruise again, but thats what keeps me strong."

i love you. every single one of you. if hurting me will make u happy, then shoot me to death.
i take the punishment i deserve like a REAL HONEST HUMAN.

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7:07 PM
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its 5.45 am. and i still can't sleep. its been like this for days.
farhah says " no wonder there's like a big eye bag under ur eyes!!"
kak anees says " is it me, or u ave like a huge zits under ur eyes?"
mama ckp " farah kene tumbuk ke? what did u do again this time?"

theres alot but, i dun need to elaborate. i dun really know how to elaborate anymore.
i keep trying to find words to write here. somehow, i'm just stuck with the incomplete sentence.
life is HARD. if it is not, then it wouldn't be called LIFE.


mybe, i was
too selfish. mybe my actions were leading me and everybody to this simple conclusions; "
I NEED MORE". mybe, what we think or what we feel or what we do is not what they see and feel. i mean just because i think that i'm doing all that stuff because i want to be good enough for him, what if? what if it's not really what he wants? its not really what they want? mybe something that is good for them, can be another way around. we cud just be hurting them than helping them. ok, i know u said that i shudn't blame myself. but this is just what i do, when i'm so clueless... when i'm trying to find solution. a way to ease alil bit of my pain. to be better. i'm just trying to think of it at a positive site. for me to keep on living.
i'm sorry for not listening to u miyo.. u tried to help me, but i pushed u away...i pushed everyone away..

positive thinking;

mybe, this is one of the hardest part of life. letting go someone that u love for their own happiness.
mybe this part will change everything. me, my life and everyone.
mybe this part will teach me how to be stronger... better... braver...
funny, i have let go of so many ppls all of my life, i keep wondering why... why is it so hard to let go of this one person. this one specific person. he's just another human in my life. or is he?
mybe this part will teach me to appreciate things much better...
maybe it will teach me to never take things for granted anymore..
mybe, its trying to make me realise that, u will lose someone that u dearly loved in a blink fo an eye...
and no matter how hard u tried to be good, nothing is ever good enough.
because ppl makes mistake every second, and they can never runaway from it..
mybe,... just mybe... i shudn't be.. this way..
mybe i shudnt be so content with my life that i forgot, i forgot my real self.
mybe i was never used to this kind of life. i never had real friends. i never had real love. i never knew love and friends. i never anything. and just when i get to taste it, i was too happy to even keep it safely.
mybe i was too fed up i was all alone every single time...and just when i was with everyone, i feel needed, loved and cared. i forgot to be grateful.

too many maybes.. too many reasons...
" its not what u do best, its what u ave tried best"
mybe thats wrong. i've tried so hard. but best is not what i got. it was never the best...
i was never the best..
maybe its teaching me not to be so selfish, and life will never be about u.

but if all of this, it is meant for me to lose my one true love. then mybe i shud take all of this to move one step ahead in this life. its a BULLSHIT, life can never be stop. our life will always keep on moving. its only u determine whether u go with it or control it.
i guess i'm just too stuck in the past that i can't see the future rite in front of me...
i'm closing all the doors just to be with the locked door..

huh, i ave no idea to say anymore.
angah is sick like hell. he suddenly having a high fever. i'm not saying it as in its a good thing but i'm taking a step of starting to care for other people than me. well mybe its hurting me but doing a good deed to someone never hurt doesn't it.
i'm not gonna put myself first ever again. mybe for self confidence. but if they need me or not. i'll be there to help them.
no, i'm not pleasing ppl. i'm helping them. i won't and i'm not asking anything for returns. i will and i am satisfied seeing them happy. i dun mind going up and down the stairs just to get warm water for my brother. i dun mind leaving the ym just to change cool my brother's temperature.
i dun mind feeling so tired for doing all the work on my own. appreciate? heh, never ask something is return. thats a good deed. i appreciate myself. and thats enough. i'm proud of myself for doing the right eventhough no body knows. one rule in life. NEVER EVER DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE.
my eldest as usual giving excuse, for god sake. u ave a car, a petrol-free car from ur parents. and all u can do is drive ur own brother to a clinic, but still excuses are all that u give. mama and daddy is not home. again, NEVER EVER DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE.

i've been such an effing stupid bastard shit girl. time to change. alone, strong on my own.
moving on? its HARD. but i'll live. i will.... i have to...
i'm blank.. and its 7.10 am.
so many things to say, but i'm just to tired to type and think any of it.
well gtg, another day, another episode of life..

ps; i wud like to say i'm sorry to everyone. for everything that i ave done.i'll die just to make u guys happy..

notes; it seems that alot of people around me has broken up. is breakup really da answer?

i always love you...with every breath that i take...

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5:45 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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tag by atok 0_0

1. Sesiapa yang kena tag, 10 sesuatu berkenaan orang yang men'tag' dia.

About
atok
-ex ( prasan XD), husband poyo
-suke lagu slow, tul kan? ;)
-ade byk rahsia ;)
-penyanyi di kala saya main piano
-self-content :)
-ex class mate
-suke tutup mulut dier, habit kot 0__0
- byk isteri :D
-x pernah gado smpi sakitkn ati fasya, shocking -__-"
-seorg kwn yg baik :)

2. Orang yang kena tag kena tulis tentang dirinya.
-emotional
-dh pndi masak :D
-org gaji di rumah selama 3 minggu dn akn berakhir pd ari esok.
-loves ATTENTION but i've vowed to stop and be out of the crowd from these moment
-hates herself but still trying to be better
-not a quiter but a failure
-hates rempit
-scare of thunder
-loves to sing,dance and photography
-still loves him

3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
-queeny
-tinot
-syyrul
-nuha
-sara
fazraa
-najwa
atok, kamu kene gak wat ttg daku XD
and sesiape lagi yg bace ni, take it as u please 0___0

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2:53 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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tag by queeny

1. do you think you're hot?
i don't think. and i dun care

2. upload your favourite picture of you!


3. why do you like that picture?
i miss laughing for real and smiling truly.

4. when the last time you ate pizza?
last thursday, kt melaka

5. the last song u listened to?
paramore - decode

6. what are you doing now besides this?
hujan di muka ku

7. what name would you prefer besides yours?
no idea

8. people i tag
syyrul
atok
fazra
sara
etc..


8. who is number 1?
hotstuff :)

9. number 3 is having a relationship with?
dun really know XD

10. say something about number 5?
etc??

11. how about number 4?
she knows how i feel. :)

12. how about number 2?
husband poyo aku XD

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Friday, December 19, 2008 6:46 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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you have an EX?

What if your ex said these to you???

1. Hi how are ya?
honestly? BAD

2. Hey! You wanna go to the mall?!
u wanna go out with me? ok, i'll take that.

3. I LOVE U..
oh sure, i love u too..

4. DO u want some cookies?
i'm not in for cookies these days. i'm too emo.

5. Can you take me a picture?!?
u do know i love photography rite -___-"

6. Help me in my homework!
ok i'll guide u, but i won't do it for u.

7. Here's my gift to you...
wow, susah2 je.

8. Let's just be textmates
why dun we just ignored each other forever?

9. Do you want me to buy you an ipod?
kamu xde duit...

10. Let's sit together in the bus
ok i guess...

11. Hi baby
oh hey wassup dude...

12. Your still cute!
thx a bunch. appreciate dat

13. I still LOVE you!
oh really? oh dats too bad, u ask for it. eventhou i STILL LOVE U TOO.

14. Can I visit your house?
do as u pls -__-

15. Do you love me?
what is love?


16.tag to;
tinot
queen
syyrul
atok
fazraa
nuha
sara
and etc.. sape yg nk

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6:38 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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tag by tini

-7 facts about myself-
1. fasya
2. seventeen years old
3. single.
4. i love to sing,dance and act. -____-
5. i starting to cook for my family on my own
6.i love to be loved
7. i'm emotional.

-7 things that scares me-
1. ALLAH
2. pembalasan pd HARI KIAMAT
3. thunder
4.darkness
5.drunk ppl
6. love
7.loneliness...

-7 songs that I listen currently-
1.goodbye
2. aku bukan pilihan hatimu
3. cinta dalam hati
4. rehab
5. you're not sorry
6. tiada ku mengerti
7. breathe easy :( shit... its raining on my face..

-7 things that I always say-
1.shit
2. crap..
3. ye sayang..
4. oh..
5. sengal seyh..
6.lol
7.doi!

-7 most important things-
1. myself, i'm not gonna depend on other ppl anymore
2. self confidence
3.u can't deny we need MONEY these days.
4. friends i guess
5. knowledge
6. family? i guess..
7.love? ntah la..

-7 “the first time” in my life-
1. went to a prom
2. went to pavillion, it was the first and the last.
3. breakdown and still aven't figure out yet how to stand up.
4. to be told i'm beautiful.
5.cook something without anybody telling me wht to do.
6. sitting on a field while gazing at the stars.
7. to know what is true love but was left by true love.

-7 Things that i want lately-
1. to feel happy again. seriously, i feel so empty
2. new clothes would be fine for the trip.
3. go out all alone with no one to give u crap.
4. get out of all this stress
5. kelip rambut
6. i want REAL friends
7. i want him back... pfft wtv

-7 person that need to answer back this survey-
i dun ave loads of fans for my blog. so sape nmpk ni and nk wat, take it. i dun mind...

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5:58 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic

penat penat penat penat!
aku xleh hidup mcm ni lagi!
parents screaming at my face! debating whether i shud go or not! lantak la! klu korg nk hanta aku gi melaka ke, london ke, anta la! ingat aku kisah! ingat aku ni bende ke? aku ni manusia la! aku ada perasaan. aku bukan sesuatu utk di jual beli!!!!

oit bitch! aku x phm la sgt nape ko nk sibuk sgt dlm hidup aku! ko x pernah phm perasaan aku!
kepala otak ko tu cume ade boyfriend ko je! kenapa ko xleh nk think for urself for once!
u know what ur the most stupidest girl i eva know! seriously, mcm lalang! let me get this straight with you, klu ko nk breakup dgn dier, ko ckp! klu ko xnk, sudah! ko nilah jenis manusia yg x sedar ape yg ko ada. ko xkn appreciate ape yg ko dh dpt. ko ada bapak punyer syg nyer boyfriend. betapa ramai giler perempuan dlm dunia ni mencari seorg laki mcm tu, tpi ko x hargai dier lgsg! aku yg sedih mcm giler ditinggalkn oleh boyfriend aku. ko still x sedar???? I AM YOUR BESTFRIEND. A FRIEND. doesn't that mean anything to you???????

nasrudin ali
mintak maaf sgt2
i'm stress
thnk you for still caring for this stupid bastard girl
"i'm a big knucklehead"

i am not a cinderella.
i am not a maid.
i am not a toy.
i am not a trophy.
i am not a game.
i am not a lie.
i am not a mop.
i am not YOUR SHIRT.
i am not YOUR SLAVE.

i ave feelings, i ave my own mind, i ave my own thoughts, i ave my own life, i ave my own rights
i control my life, i control myself
i am a HUMAN.
so, stop judging me, stop telling me what to say and what to do and what to feel
stop messing with my life, stop lying to my face!


<I NEED THE TRUTH>

ps; i know that this post seems alil crazy. ok alot crazy. but i'm just so messed up right now and i can't even speak it out to anyone. so sorry blog, but i had to do this.

notes; i really wanna be happy. but the definition of happy comes when he is happy.
- i really dunno wht to do now. i'm clueless and confused. i'm tired and sick of life.

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Sunday, December 14, 2008 7:13 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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STUCK


It's been in the past for a while
I get a flash and I smile
Am I crazy?
Still miss you baby

It was real, it was right
But it burned too hot to survive
All that's left is
All these ashes

Where does the love go?
I don't know
When it's all said and done
How could I be losing you forever?
After all the time we spent together

I have to know why
I had to lose you
Now you've just become
Like everything I'll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean

In a dream you appeared
For a while you were here
So I keep sleeping
Just to keep you with me

I'll draw a map
Connect the dots
With all the memories that I've got
What I'm missing
I'll keep re-living

This is it
Let go
Breathe

You'll have to love me
For me to, baby, ever understand
Just know I love the time that we both had
And I don't ever want to see you sad, be happy
Cause I don't want to hold you
If you don't want to tell me you love me babe
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away
I'll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy

Be happy

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4:56 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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for atok/ shahrullah XD

atok blur XD

atok and syed

fasya magnaminity and atok pantera ;)

tgh msg feyra or dhada la tu haha mkn tido hp, itu hidup atok XD

saya suke buli dier ;)
atok dan katak sama je ;)

what i said? tido adalh 50% hidup dier and the rest BOLA XD
yey dlm mimpi atok , ronaldo klh! haha

pd mlm 4 december 2008, PERAM NITE diadakan ( opposite of prom haha XD) its for hamzah's students SMKS 18. well i was ex hamzah, and miyo was kind enough to ask me to join. wlpun saya kesedihan ditinggalkn oleh seorg kekasih. but i push myself to go and meet my old friends and have myself a lil bit of fun. jamuan dier hebat. diorg sediakan byk bende and mknn. ade mainan. haha i even had to play the games. it was this spoon circling thingy. when the musics stop and at the same time if you are the victim that is holding the spoon, you have to do an activity. i had to dance with Ms Liew. haha weirdly enough! XD and after the party is over, they did a slideshow which i'm not in cause i'm not in their class this year. haha and after than i spent hours and hours at miyo's house with the boys. haha yes, i was the only girl that time. kinda creppy, but i trust them. except miyo and atok! hahah XD
terima kasih HAMZAH. kamu semua tetap di hati. well some of you. haha XD

notes; i went home at 4 am in the morning that nite! haha being a notty girl ;)
- miyo dpt dua award! x aci! haha
- miyo pinjam keyboard yg best giler! so kitorg menyalak menyanyi lagu slow pd mlm tu. haha KESEMPATAN KEDUA and TERBAIK UNTUKMU the BOM! haha

ps: yes ppl, i'm posting a happy post. :) cause i wanna be happy and i am happy! haha
and queeny, love that slap in the face words ;) u've smack me back to reality boo

and remember ppl, i'll always love you :) toodles!

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Saturday, December 13, 2008 1:48 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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breakup is not the answer

emo song emo song emo song. haha it kinda suits my life now. my parents is throwing me away to melaka. my brothers is controlling my life and ordering me cleaning up after their messes. my bestfriend has move on with her bf without me. my family is drifting apart that raya nowadays means nothing than just an empty day. everybody is blaming me for what has happen to me. wow they make it sound like i really want to suffer. its like i choose to live with all these pain. thnks guys. the best part? i'm stuck between my past memories with my one true love. jiwang sgt? biar pi lah! haha you noe, i dun mnd being kick and slapped by my parents and brothers. i don't mind being left behind by my own bestfriend. i'm used to it now. but losing my one and only life? whoa its like somebody just pull the oxygen plug.

but there's nothing i cud do anymore. i'm hopeless and worthless. fate is not on my side. like shahril said, mybe i'm the only one who really cherish and remembers all of the memories. mybe it was only me who felt it was right eventhough it was wrong. yes tini i know i said that when worst thing happen, a better beginning was just about to start. the thing is, the ending of my relationship meant ending of my own life. when life is gone, even the sweetness of life cudn't be taste anymore. fun? i dun get it. happy? like how? move on? pls tell me how to move on when 17 years i've searched and i've never found someone like him before. i kno
w if i spent another 17 years, i'm never gonna found anyone like him. ever again.

i'm sick and tired but this tears just keep rolling on my cheeks. i even can't stop myself from crying yesterday. with a simple smile by my twins, and i cried. they beginning to remember me.they can walk. they ran to me when they saw me at the front door. but they never knew, this wasn't the hardest part. the hardest part of it is after all of this, letting go. letting go someone you really love. like ripping your heart out to make them happy..

jika memang diriku
bukan lah menjadi pilihan hatimu
mungkin sudah ta
kdirnya
kau dan aku takkan mesti bersatu

harus slalu kau tau
kumencintamu disepanjang waktuku
harus slalu kau tau
semua abadi untuk
slamanya

karena kuyakin cinta dalam hatiku
hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
karena kuyakin disetiap hembus nafasku

hanya dirimu satu yang slalu kurindu

mybe this happens to show that i have friends that really care about me.. but why do i still feel empty? you know why.
ugh.. my life is so unstable right now. funny, just few days ago we were laughing and wishing happy monthiversary. and just when i push myself to limit to get my life back in shape so that i don't feel so miserable and don't lean on other people so much, everything just crashes before my eyes.

why evry single action that i do, people keep interpreting it in the wrong way? am i really that bad? why can't they see from my point of view? why does it has to be negative? wrong? why we have to give up a war that hasn't even really begun? huh..

oh well take care everybody, i'm going to melaka for good. i see myself not really needed anymore at shah alam. so might as well go some place where i don't bother and hurt anyone anymore. especially u zaki. enjoy ur space. mybe i'll be back, mybe not? who knows. lets just wait and see... i'm just happy that you're happy. scratch that, i'm happy when you're happy.

i just want you to know that i might not gonna be here anymore. so forgive me. ily

notes; finding an open door is hard when you're still looking at the closed door. forgetting someone you love, is like remembering someone you don't even know.
- shahril said i'm still in his family. no matter what, i'm still his evil sis inlaw.. thx shahril... that really.. huh... thnk you.. :'(

ps; appreciate the one that you love before its too late. you may not know when your gonna lose them. but until that day comes, cherish while you still have it, cause you're never gonna get that chance when their not there anymore. and as always, i love you my friends. :'(

take care everybody! till we meet again.. toodles.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008 4:02 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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tagged by queeny

Name: Farah Syafiqah Binti Ibrahim
Nickname: FASYA, andy, baby, alang, budak hyperactive, emosya etc.
Marital status: -
Zodiac Sign: scorpio
Gender: female
Age: 17 years old
High School: ex SMKS 9, ex SMKS 18
University: next year, insya'Allah
Height: 152cm
Weight: 50kg
Do you like yourself: i could be better, but i am who i am.
Piercings: earrings
Right or left: right
Are you a freak: most def
Hair: naturally black
Allergic: allergic to rempits and liars
What are you doing now: this, singing and cleaning up the hse
What will you do 1 hour later: lipat kain.
What will you do 10 years later: succesful, rich and make a difference to this world.
Live with mother/father/parents: uncle and aunt
Siblings(including you): four; 3 boys and 1 girl
Eldest: along
Youngest: izzat
Love/hate your family: i appreciate them.



THE LOVE

You found your another half: i did but he broke up with me.
If yes, who is he/she: ahmad zaki bin ahmad zuber
If no, who you want he/she to be: still him.
Time(s) you in relationship: 2 or 3
Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): not anymore. you want me, then come and get me idiot.
Anyone woo you before(0-100000): yup, loads of time. idiots.
Did anything wrong to your other half: big YES
What was/were the wrong(s) you had done: i was too pushy to him i guess. i made him think the wrong way.
Ever argued with your other half: LOADS of time.
You have been with your other half since: 30th may and it ended on 4th Dec
Are you straight/Lesbo: i'm straight and lesbo. haha right bitch?
Reasons you love your other half: love doesn't need a reason does it?
You and your other half are in which stage: beginning anew, bye bye good ol days.
Who woo-ed? Him/ her or you?: we both did.
Ever think of marrying him/her: yes i did. but that dream has crashed.



THE FRIENDS

Your first best friend: nur farhah wahidah binti muhd kamil
Your first enemy: amalina. musuh dlm selimut. sialan.
The friend you love the most: zaki, queentinlajie; les fab, miyo, shahril, farhah, atok ;), syed, nasrudin, mike, fattah, ira, najwa and etc. too many to be spoken of.
The enemy you hate the most(1 only): myself. seriously.
Your most beautiful girl friend: yes everybody is beautiful but most beautiful is les fab for sure. oh u too zaki. haha
Your most handsome guy friend: always will be him. :'(
The kind of girl/woman you hate the most: bad-mouthed, backstabbers, liars and sluts.
The kind of boy/man you hate the most: liars and who can't keep their promises. effing assholes, rempit i hate.
Have you ever fallen in love with your close friend before: hahahahahahahaahahhahaha
Your best friend is your ex-lover: YES
If your friend backstabs you: i tell them in their face, and let karma hit them.
If your friend betrays you: leave them be.
If your friend woos your lover: they're not my friend anymore.
If your friend falls in love with you: sweet but no thnks.
If you fall in love with your best friend: not anymore. i vowed not to fall in love again.


THE STUDIES

Are you a good student: i AM.
Have you always done your homeworks/assignments: not always.
The teacher/tutor you love the most: i love all of them.
Always late to school/college: most of the times. sorry la duduk jauh dari skola kan?
Your class: agree with nasquin, has lots of drama.
You love your seniors: my seniors at 18? yes. i don't really know seniors at 9. 0_0
Senior whom you love the most: kak anum :)
Your classmates good/bad: theres always good and bad.
Excellent results classmate: agree with queeny again, amira farhain. and martin xavier X) god miss him. haha
Laziest classmate: zhariff. suke dtg skola lambat giler. haha



THE PEOPLE

Smart people: even the smart people can be so stupid
Stupid people: again, even the stupid people can be even smarter than the smart
Good looking people: knows that they're good looking, grateful for what they have and doesn't need to show off.
Ugly people: that make a fool of themselves.
Funny people: can be found everywhere
Cute people: just being themselves.
Bad people: never think about other people except for themselves.
Honest people: are hard too find.
Acting people: just makes me sick.
You are what kind of people: one of a kind ; UNIQUE
Lip or eyes: eyes
Hugs or kisses: lets be greedy, both.
Shorter or taller: taller.
Hesitant or spontaneous: spontaneous
Nice stomach or nice arms: nice hugs
Listener or talker: both
Romantic or rich: both
Good wife or Good mother: both



THE FUTURE

[84] Age to get married: -
[85] Numbers of kid(s): the more the merrier, i'm gonna adopt!
[86] Career: something that i love
[87] Salary: higher and higher
[88] Retirement age: -
[89] Value of properties: -
[90] Wishes: i want my life back so that i can be happy, but thats never gonna happy rite? so abaikan....

TAGS
atok
syrrul
fazraa
azneeza
and who else that wanna do this go ahead....

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008 11:30 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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