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sad but happy, who cares?

9 is gossiping about me. hope their happy
they are crticizing. hope their happy
they don't know anything about the truth, but still think they know. hope their happy
a guy who once love me like hell, hates me like hell and seeking for vengeance. hope he's happy
and because of what he's done to me at prom nite, everybody including my recent ex are judging me and giving me all this stupid fucking assumption. hope their happy and i hope he's happy while i'm getting all the punishment from what he did.
i lost bestfriends that i dearly loved ( buduh ), hope their happy

i know all this shit came pouring down at me because of what i did. and i have realised and regret it but they don't really understand and get it... so i dun give a damn anymore
but blaming myself won't do me any good so, i'm trying to be better whether YOU believe it or not. what i believe that matters now. and what ALLAH knows that matters now. and what he feels that matters now :) you know who u are. dude!!!! x abeh2 dgn tu -__-"

bukan nk defend ke ape ar kan, u kuar dgn diorg before prom lagi.
but the thing is, aku buduh sgt nk jeles ape hal kan?
so, klu kwn aku x ajak kuar skali, apsal nk marah? itu hak dier gak kan? nape aku nk sengal sgt kutuk dier and marah x tentu psl?

and aku x pernah pggl u desperate ok, aku ade proof kt hp aku yg u yg tulis. aku x ckp pon.
u yg start ckp. bukan aku. and then sume org memutar belitkn segalanya.
ntah la...malas aku nk defend sumfing yg sume org x tahu kebenaran dier. hantam ar...ALLAH TAHU.

and i know whateva i say, won't do YOU any good. buat ape aku nk defend kpd sumone yg xnk dgr lagi dh. hati dier dh tertutup hitam. same la dgn laki bernama nasrudin ali. oh wait ape ko ckp tadi? nasrudin ali dh mati ek? oh aku perempuan bodoh? terima kasih nasrudin. appreciate that. mcm la aku x sedar sendiri ape yg berlaku skrg.

u noe wut, i dun give a damn anymore about this. i mean, berapa byk kali pon aku terangkan and bagi proof.. (and seriously klu masuk court pun, this is a great big evidence), ko still marah kt aku. and xde pape pon aku leh wat. aku berubah bagai nk rak pon, ko xkn percaya nyer. bagi kau, aku cume perempuan jalang dlm hidup.

ye, aku merana tnpa ada sesiapa lagi dh skrg. mungkin ini ape yg sume org nk kan?
dh la aku xde sesiape lg, korg still lg kutuk aku perempuan xde maruah. mungkin ini ape yg korg nk?
aku sedar kesalahan aku dan menyesal thp dewa dewi, tpi xde org percaya atau dgr ucapan maaf aku. mungkin ini ape yg diorg nk?
ntah la. aku x tau ape lg yg ko nk...seriously...

ALLAH,
Kau bukakanlah mata hati2 yg tertutup ni
Kau berikan aku petunjuk untuk melihat kebenaran di sebalik kesusahan yg Kau timpakan pada aku.
Dan berikan aku kekuatan untuk menempuhnya..

sengal seyh, asal ramai sgt breakup this month. kesian shahril and mickey -__-"
i'll try to help. i think. repent seyh! perrgh....
and mickey, ur seriously just exactly like me when i was in my first two weeks of breakup. u betta start thinking about urself or u will lose sumfing that u had just like me now -__-"
but i'm happy that i succeeded on getting u and farhah back togeva :)
start appreciating my bestfriend ok??? and stop controlling her too much... -__-"

farhah said i shud start thinking getting into councelling stuff. pfft, sengal seyh. sedangkan hidup aku pun x terurus, xde maknanyer.. but i wud like to help people. even if people hates me or so 0__0

argh! aku nk keluar dari kepompong ni seyh... x sggp aku hidup dlm umah ni.. kenapa aku xleh jadi selfish kejap? kenapa aku kene serve sebagai hamba di rumah ni???
aku jeles and geram tgk kwn2 aku leh kuar and enjoy dgn friends diorg sedangkan aku kt umah ni cuci pinggan mangkuk, masak and segala2 nyer. eh aku bukan maid laaaa. along angah ni pemalas ar....
aku nk kuar dgn cuzin pon xleh ke??
cuzin pon family jugak mama!! smpi ati diorg wat camni kat aku...
ish seriously, klu aku merana cmni pun korg x puas lagi, ape korg nk lg ar??? pelik ar..

dush...aku seriously xleh tido........

notes; went to sacc mall today and bumped with danial who works at bonia sale. haha.. and heard news about them again.. ugh... aku mls nk dgr seyh.. asal ramai sgt nk sakitkn ati aku skrg? korg suke hidup aku hancur ke? -________-" mybe... but wut the hell.. i dun care... penat... aku tgh enjoy masak nasi utk family aku haha -___-"

bonjour kapitan! ok i'm seriously crazy rite now. and thx for still believe in me :) you know who u are.. hurts, but i'm living.. AS ALWAYS. for once, i really can't wait for halibilu. haha weirdly enough -__-"



i love you!!!! 0_____0

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 1:25 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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