Why am I still crying?
Is it cause it's finally over, for good?
Is it cause I'm sad you didn't fight for me?
Or am I sad cause I wasted all these years with you, sacrificing everything and done so much for you yet you still don't feel anything when you see me cry...
I'm so stupid. Crying over a relationship that I hold on when I know it always leave me in pieces. All alone, lying on the floor like a lil helpless girl, crying for mercy.
All that's left are just heartbreaks and anger. Regrets. I wish I never met you. Never have I spent so much time with someone who doesn't even blink an eye when I'm about to walk out the door.
They're right. He's gotten too comfortable. Too relax.
He thinks that I'm just gonna take him back. That he has nothing to worry about.
And that saying something.
How far have I gone until I've lost all of my self-worth?
All those days waking up so early to pick you up, and sending you home.
Supporting you in everything you do. No matter where you wanted to go, another mma fight or an instameet or even being your no1 fan.
Compromise with everything you want. Up to a point I've even sacrifice my own feelings.
Huh.. Gotta wake up from this nightmare. I had enough. 4 years is enough.
But am I strong enough?
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
On the morning of first day Raya, my lovely Loki gave birth to 6 beautiful kittens. Unfortunately due to certain complications, one only lived for 3 days. It's sad cause I know it fought really hard to survive but I guess Allah loves him more.
This is my first batch of kittens ever since I moved to Shah Alam. When we were in Kedah, my parents had no difficulty in allowing us to take care of cats. But I guess mama got a wee old for cats and her nose just can't stand the stench of cat's poop. Lol
Luckily ever since Figaro came into my life, mama has well.. compromised. Sort of. I mean we fought a lot but.. seeing Loki and Eskimo everyday is worth the fight. Now home, doesn't feel so lonely anymore for this "only girl" in the family.
I'll never stop missing Figaro. It's just hard enough not to think of where is he or is he safe or not. I just pray God that He takes care of him. *teary*
Lol even after all this while, it still makes my eyes all watery.
The reason why I'm even posting this cause I want to add some colours into my blog. I mean that's how life is. I have had so many rough days that I kept on posting depressing posts. But that doesn't mean I don't have anything to be grateful for.
I mean, I can be very depressed yet at the same time I never stop being thankful and grateful.
It's confusing. Yet I think most people can relate to that.
ps; I am finally relieved from my maid's duty. Ah.. I can finally rest from doing all the house chores alone. Remind me not to buy a freaking 3 storey house unless I have maids. It is so tiring D:
And everyone keeps telling me, "It's ok, it's an experience and what to do, you're the only girl." Gee, that totally makes me feel better :| oh well..
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.