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Grateful but Sad

i thought going home would be nice. i thought that being home would ease me out from the stress i'm in. well it did. it helped me alot.
and it made me more depressed. why ? cause i've overlook alot of things.
i am totally regretting all the things that i took for granted. i wish that i could go back in the past to fix all the faults that i've done.

i was a terrible friend, a terrible leader, a horrible daughter and most of all, an unworthy lover. wait, if you're gonna criticize on saying how emo i am, you can go stalk somebody's else blog. you don't belong here.
cause this is my blog, and i deserve to write what i feel. and this is what i am feeling now.

i know that this feelings will be gone by tomorrow but i just want to remember this moment and remind myself how it felt like to waste every love that everyone has given me.

these tears i'm shedding, no one knows. but i'm gonna remember each every drops of it. Allah really showed me everything.

I'M SORRY. I really am. I can't even look at you guys anymore. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sorry...

Omma, daddy.
i love you so much. thank you for giving me alot of love. i'm sorry for disappointing you alot. byane. if i could, i want to give you the world. if i could fly to the sky, i'll give you the moon.

My class.
each and everyone of you, are all in my heart. the memories of Part 1 are still fresh in my mind.

Lendu friends.
i still remember getting these messages from unknown numbers just to ask me where is the location of their class. and they are not even from my class. haha
Part 1 seem so far now...

Kaklong Huda, Tintin, Syusyu, Amy, Kidot, Farah, Sue, Geeja, Giey, Ann, god i wish i could name all of you, each and everyone of you.
I LOVE YOU OH SO MUCH. you guys never ever judge me from the beginning you said hi to me up until now. god, do know how grateful i am to have you guys ?
ok, this post is getting more gay than i thought. haha :)

you see ? even by thinking of you guys right now, you just change my mood from so emo and sad to so happy and.. huh... just happy. so happy.. :)

i know that asking us to go back to when we Part one is impossible, but..
i just wish that we could be happy like when we first entered UiTM. huh..

byane. i'm a trouble, aren't i ? i'm a horrible wife. hehe
you showed me that love isn't all about caring about other's happiness only. you have to fight to show that you really love them.
you see right through me. no matter how bad i am. and.. huh.. i'm thankful for that..
byane.. i have a strong feeling that i'm going to disappoint you again. byane.. i made alot of mistakes...
i screwed up my life. am i too late to fix it ? ottoke..
oppa, bogoshipuyo.. byane :(

for once, nothing is wrong in my whole entire life, except myself.
i always stret and frut how horrible people are towards me, how horrible people around me made me feel.
but now, the joke is on me.

god i need to sleep.

i love you guys, and i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i love you.

ps; don't forget me and all my kindness because of all my badness.
cause i haven't forgotten yours.


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Saturday, October 30, 2010 4:51 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.

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did i mention that i'm currently home ? yeah i'm home. SHAH ALAM :)
just for the week, while waiting for my next paper.

i actually feel like shedding tears when i come to realised how much i miss this place called home. along actually showed how he really missed me.
he started babbling about how pretty i am and how cute his sister is. and i'm not saying that it's a bad thing either :D if you know what i mean ;) haha

but when he started bringing up how i deserve a much better guy than YOU-KNOW-WHO (do i really have to mention? hem.. *thinking* nah its unnecessary) so anyway, back to my point,
when he started mentioning how i deserve a much better man to appreciate how beautiful i am, he just slightly throwed me from the sky high -__-'
i mean, why can't he just stop at pretty and cute :(

sigh -___-'

oh yeah, like i said before, i'm still new with these blogskin. so i'm still editing it.
please bare with me ok ? :)
and yes, i miss blogging very much :)

pss; sometimes, i just can't go on. *tears*


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Thursday, October 28, 2010 5:46 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.

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sorry people, trying to edit my blog skin.
i kinda still blur on how to fix it. on my way to fix this.
sorry again -____-'

fasya xoxo

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3:31 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
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