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Taken For Granted

salam :)

ok ok. i know i haven't been there much.
but i've been quite busy. and everytime i got free time, i used that moment to snooze off.
totally lazy. but alot has happened.
too many things to take in, ya know ?

but that doesn't mean i don't miss blogging. well, not really. OPS >,<
well i miss it abit. but not as much as i did before.
oh well.

my blog has become a place for depressing moments only -__-'
err ....


oh its raya.
Selamat Hari Raya.
not a very happy raya for me.
but i hope it turn out ok for you guys.

i mean of course, it is nice to meet all my families, and being together again.
but i just wish the fight between my families and my relationship didn't happened.
seriously, i'm really down about that.

see, depressing moments again.

nonstop of crying.
haih, maybe this year, i just can't get any rainbow in my life.
everything is just in mess in every single aspect.


oh and i miss goofing off with ira. recording songs and laughing about it.
yeah, maybe i should start doing that again...
time time time.


oh well, i just can't sleep no more.
especially with all these problems going on.
and somehow i wish you of all people in this world could understand me better.
but i just can never get that.
i just don't how much more i can take.

my heart is getting heavier each day.
and you ain't even there to help me cope.
i'm holding on the hands of someone who doesn't want to be held.
whats wrong with this picture ?

its me.
not you. but me.
it has always been me.
oh well.



ps; has this 7 months become meaningless to you ?
have you look back and feeling empty about it ?
whats in you heart ?
i don't even know.

FASYA
XOXO

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Thursday, September 16, 2010 6:02 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Pulanglah - Aishah

my all time favourite song for raya.
it's really a sad song.
but i love it anyway...

to everyone else.
selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.
i'm sorry fr hurting you, causing alot of trouble.
i wish i could fix things..
i miss everyone so much.
i wish i could raya with everyone tomorrow..

k take care.
lets open a new book, shall we ?
life must go on eventhough its hard to accept.
i've been through this before.
so i should get used to falling out of love that doesnt want me anymore.

again, i just have to go through again.
i should have known i'm not good enough for love.
may Allah spare me for all the sins i've done.
may Allah guide me for this challenge He put me in.

i need you Allah, i've always needed you.
thank you for making me see the truth now.
No love is as true to Allah.

may Allah forgive me for crying right now..
may Allah forgive me for crying even more in the future..
selamat hari raya aidilfitri.
maaf zahir dan batin..







Pulanglah
Artist: Aishah
Sayang
Di hari yang mulia ini
Ku pohon keampunan
Hanya satu yang ku pinta
Pulanglah

Termenung ku sendiri
Memendam rindu tidak menentu
Kasih suci murni yang kita bina
Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya
Hati sayu mengenang dirimu
Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku
Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan
Aidilfitri satu titik akhir
Sekian lama bercinta
Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon
Sekiranya aku yang berdosa
Pulanglah ku merindui mu sayang
Ku menanti dengan hati rela ( jiwa raga )

Pulanglah kepangkuan ku oh... sayang
Ku menunggu mu di hari raya



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Thursday, September 9, 2010 1:19 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Tears

while others are having fun, silently someone is crying.
while others are having a great time, silently someone is gasping for air.

for once, i feel so lonely and all alone in my entire life.
i can't even bring myself to call up my loved ones.
i need a shoulder to cry on. especially now.
but i just can't do this anymore.

everyone is already tired of me crying over and over again.
i'm so hopeless and useless..
i can't do this anymore..
why am i becoming so weak..

why am i being my old self again...

why is this happening all over again..
will the torturing ever stop ?!
all these tears and suffering ?

nobody even gives a damn about it!

then why am i still here ?
why am i still holding on to this pain !


can i just sleep and not wake up in the morning ?
can i ?
pretty please.
i just can't do this anymore..


i don't really mean anything in this world.
so why am i still here ?


haha..
stupid question..
stupid me..


i'm being all crazy again...
haha...


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12:11 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Loser

i'm falling to pieces. everyone can see it.
i'm a big show. i'm your freak. i'm your entertainment for greatest drama.
as my world is crashing down. everything just flashback of everything i've done.
i realised something.

i didn't do well enough.
i didn't push hard.
i screw it up on my own.

i got myself to blame.

how to get up after a big huge fall out.
i'm still wondering..

i'm tired..
can i just give up.. and be a total loser..
cause i'm fed up of being half loser and winner. i lose yet i keep on trying.

its so stupid..
lets just cry.. cry cry cry..

and no, i'm not going to class today. screw bel midterm. screw anything else in this world. nothing means anything anymore..

goodbye.

ps; yes i'm depressed. live with it.

...


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Wednesday, September 1, 2010 6:44 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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