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Marriage

Something I read from Huda's FB. She posted this link that had a story.
whether you are in a relationship or not, married OR not, you SHOULD really read this.
It will change everything. Enjoy reading it.

ps; *click stalk more :P *



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

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Monday, February 28, 2011 11:31 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Finding Battle Songs

I'm listening to Persona3 soundtrack. Crap. I miss playing that game so badly.

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3:25 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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When Sorry and Love Is Not Enough

Why ? Why we like to hurt ourselves ?
Cmon fasya ! WAKE UP !

You can't go on like this!

honestly, I think my level of thinking has become weaker and weaker.

Allah, give me signs. Guide me, tell me what to do. Cause I don't have a single clue.

The same thing all over again.
Stumble, scratched, clawed. Yet it always has to be me.
I always end up coming back to that place and let myself going through those painful process again.

Is it worth it all anyway ?

What am I still missing right now ? Why is it not enough ?

Oh God, I can't even think anymore.


ps; Thank you to all that helped. Sorry that I made everyone worried. I'm ok now. Thank you Sir Rauf and Sir Anwar for calling the ambulans.
I promise to take care of myself from now on.
I don't want to burden you guys anymore. Thank you for caring me when I almost.. huh.. Only God knows how much I owe and grateful to have you guys around.

Allah, is it bad for me to say.. emm I actually wish that he was there ?
I know everyone else was there to helped me. I just wish he would turn back and helped me as well.

If this is wrong for me to say, then forgive me for having this feeling.
And give me strength in helping myself in forgetting.

I only have you Allah.



Fasya

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011 5:21 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Honestly

I'm not angry, I'm just hurt. I'm not crazy, I'm just not your average girl. I'm not sad, I'm just disappointed. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm just being real.



Fasya

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Thursday, February 10, 2011 3:42 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Everything went to waste



How the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those day we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

All the things I still remember
Summers never looked the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
Reach for something that's already gone

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Yeah, We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would up here the way we are

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end



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Thursday, February 3, 2011 2:15 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Kun FayaKun

On second thought,
Because of the species CALLED MAN, I've become stronger and immune with the negativity of life.

So let me just say Thank You.
Thank you for breaking me to pieces and letting me build myself up from scratch on my own.
I've become stronger because of you people.

From scars, from bruises, from broken promises, from lies, from disappointments.
From all of that, I've become better than I could have be.

To be honest, you didn't had to put me go through all of that actually.
I was even better before all of it.
But it's ok.
Sometimes you just have to fall down real HARD to get what you earn.

And what I earn is happiness.

So MR so faithful to his gf, I hope you're serious with her. Cause if I see another girl broken because of you or the other way around. heh
I don't wanna say anything ok.

Everything is all is Allah's hand. Kun Fa Ya Kun.

"Tapi saya lebih sayang Allah."



I want a guy to love me not because of me. But because of Allah.
Amin.

Muhasabahlah diri mu.


ps; I'm not perfect. I know. But that just mean you're not too :)


Fasya
xoxo

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011 12:59 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.


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Dear friend,

I am really disappointed with you.
Not only you ruined my relationship because of your stupidity. Seriously, it was your fault to begin with. Why destroy mine just because your's are going down the drain ?
Seriously man, I can't believe you.
For so long, I've been patient with you. I EVEN LIED FOR YOU TO YOUR CURRENT 'GIRLFRIEND'.

AND I STILL HAVE TO.

Well, I wish you farewell, and I hope she is THE ONE. Cause I still remember, YOU GAVE ME HOPE that you will come back to me. I WASTED MY LIFE WAITING FOR A GUY WHO ACTUALLY REPLACED ME AND HAD NO HEART TO EVEN CONSIDER HOW I FELT.

SHAME ON YOU.



The fact that I still care about you, just hurts me more. Cause I really dont wanna wish you well. But all that I wish right now, is for you to realise how much I've put myself in for you and to thank me someday.

But for that to happen, it's like wishing for snow in Malaysia.


And to you "current girlfriend", I'm sorry that I've caused alot of hassle.
Never have once I meant bad things.
He was the bestest friend I've ever had. He is more than anyone could be.
He was more that I didn't even see that he would do this.


Jodoh di tangan Tuhan.

Biarlah Allah tentukan segalanya.

I will not fall for a guy anymore.

I've been pushed away, turned down, pulled in, scratched, scars.
All of that, lead me to nothing.

Allah, give me strength to go through this.
Don't ever ever let me feel vulnerable. I want to feel as strong as I am now for as long as I live.



Oh yeah, What I don't understand, your GF can actually tolerate that some of your BFF is your ex.
So what so different about me ?
The different is, YOU LIED TO HER.

Sad isn't it ? If it wasn't for your stupidity to lie, this wouldn't happen.

Forget the fact you were always there when I need you.
Forget the fact we've been friends longer than we were lovers.
Forget the fact that you always put me in high hopes.


Let's get the fact straight, you're not that person anymore.


My advice, please don't all the above to your new GF.
She's an angel to actually to accept your apology.
But hey, it's you. Who wouldn't accept your apology huh ?
Except me :)



Well, too much talking will only cause me sin.

So, farewell, be well and... don't go to hell ?
hahaha just kidding dude.
I'm not that heartless as you are.

Have fun, I'll vanished into thin air, as if we have never met at all.


ps; Wasted pearls from eyes.


RIP ANDY 1FEB2011

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011 10:45 PM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
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