so you should have been prepared for this to happen.
you just had to make things to go your way.
cause you ARE ALWAYS RIGHT!
well no more!
you will not take advantage of my weakness !
i'm done of being blame !
you always put me high and throw me down like i'm nothing to you !
i'm not gonna, no.
i've cried my eyes everytime you left me all alone.
and you always endup saying sorry, and i always forgive you and take you back..
i'm sorry that i'm not perfect !
i'm sorry that i'm dumb !
i'm sorry that i'm blur !
and i'm sorry that i can't do what you ask me to.
i can't answer things straight !
cause i'm the type of person who forget things.
especially when having the TIME OF THE MONTH !
i've done it...
but why am i crying now ?
why am i feeling sad...
when i'm the one who decide this..
i'm the one who chose this path..
i feel like i didn't want it to end this way !
i hate it when you're not here !
i hate you i hate you i hate you !
i'm wishing, in every single way of me saying this i would eventually hate you !
cuase right now...i can't hate you at all....
my heart is wrecking.
from a great conversation, it suddenly change into some kind of beastly fight.
you are soooo stupid to ask me with that kind of question !
(talking on the phone)
ok, fine. what i wrote above, was what i wrote while i was feeling unstable.
now i see clearly.
and hard to say that if i'm feeling better.
cause i'm not.
it's a good thing when someone is still holding on to you.
after what you did to them.
but the question is, would you hold them as well ?
after what they did ?
you know... this is hard.
the hot and cold thing.
i mean, you love them, but you just don't think they deserve the right to hurt you again.
but it's hard, cause you know that you can't let them go.
cause you love them so much, even though your heart is like already in bits and pieces.
maybe they're right. maybe i'm too young to be in love.
maybe i put myself in a huge hole too soon.
pushing them far away eventhough knowing that you fucking hell love them,
is like denying how much you love them.
lying to them as in hurting them and yourself, when you know that you need them.
oh great, i'm a hypocrite.
God, when will this ever end.
I HATE PMS.
ps; if i could just turn back time.
i want to turn back time to the moment where i first shook hands with love.
to moment when i thrown myself into hell/heaven situation.
if i could !... i would shake hands the right way and not get myself thrown as fast as lightning.
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.