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Can't Have You

i'm not JEALOUS.

i'm tired of lies.
i'm tired of drama.
i'm tired of rumours spreading in negative ways.

i'm tired of trying to find a reason for what has happened in my life.
i'm tired of searching my right AND wrong.

i'm tired of crying my eyes out and making myself plastic everytime i see people.
i'm tired of listening to the same old advice.

i'm tired of fighting my way to survive a day in life.
i'm tired of chilling out to keep everything cool and slow.

i'm tired of being scared doing something wrong.
i'm tired of questioning if it really worth it ?

i'm tired of finding it hard to say no.
i'm tired of pleasing others.

i'm tired of BEING TIRED.

but most importantly,

i'm tired of not being ME.

this is not me.
i'm such a hypocrite for being a hypocrite myself.

i said i wouldn't lie, but i smile and walk away.
i said that i'll be okay, but i kept crying and crying and look away.

i'm waiting..
i'm waiting for the time... where my whole world crashes down.
and when that time come, i'll walk away from you FOR GOOD.

cause i don't deserve this love.
i don't deserve anything.

it started with nothing.
so why does it has to bloom with something ?

i know i won't feel peace.
i know i won't be me again.
but love is just not for me.
i know that before.
and i know that now.

but for the time being,
i'm loving the warm comfy feeling you give me.
i'm loving the seconds where i feel i am not lonely.
i'm loving the knowing that you love me.
i'm loving the feeling of being loved.
i'm loving being in love.

and i'm loving.. you.

but only God knows.

i'm not jealous.
i just feel like it is not worth it to cry over a guy or to fight over a guy.
if you are both in love, there's no time to fight with others to win this guy.
cause practically, he's already yours.

so someone should just BACK OFF.

but if it is me who should back OFF,

please don't sigh when i'm gone.
it was all....


ps; maybe we're trying to hard,
maybe we're torn apart,
maybe the timing is beating our heart,
we're EMPTY.


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Wednesday, February 24, 2010 4:18 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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