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living in a dream

i MISS THEM SO MUCH that i feel like i'm DYING

i'm addicted to NEW SONGS
and i've been staying up all nite every nite
because i am totally DETERMINED trying to find the piano sheets for all those songs

i know i love piano,music and stuffs
but i just don't think dat i love it the way my mum sees it
so many, millions of times..
i've tried so hard to tell my parents
i'm not what they want me to be
why is it so hard?
i can't be, this is my life. why can't... huh..

thinking back on what he said to me
how he said to me
i keep telling myself, how i WISH...i really wish i cud be like him
so dedicated. so determined. knowing what lies in front of him and taking every chances that he has
he just.... he knows his goal and he is going to achieve it no matter what. cause his mind is already set on it
how i wish, i cud be like that..
he doesn't gives a damn about what ppl said
while i.. still trying so hard just to push myself
...just to show my parents, no, all of them..
despite of what they said, no matter how they see
i know, they keep telling me i'm a failure, i'm nothing
i fight so hard just to prove them wrong!

huh.. i know, its getting crappy isn't it?
its been awhile since i've done this
i guess i kept this too long
heh, i wonder if you guys ever felt the way i do..
i mean, your parents, your own parents. well at least thats what you think
no matter how many times they and all ppl around you said that you're an adopt child
haha, nah...dats not funny..
weirdly enough i do wonder myself whether i am really in my own real family
but that is kinda stupid to doubt, doesn't it?
and they even said, you're pointless, useless, nothing, effing TUT, and TUT and you shouldn't be born into this world and and.. dush!
okkkk well u get the point. woot! almost get carried away X)
haha, well what i can say?
welcome to my world :)

damn those amazing pianist!
i'm full of envy rite now :)

ok this is just some random pianist
doing his DAMN THING
and BOY he sure is FREAKING AWESOME doing his DAMN thing
ugggh! :)

rite now, i've done printing all the songs by YIRUMA
i'm sure some of pianist or maybe keyboardist (wait does that even exist? -_-" )
know him
he's a korean pianist
credits to
check it out if you like piano songs
robert costlow
i actually have heard of him before, but never got the chance to hear his piano songs
so today while searching for piano sheets for breaking benjamin - diary of jane
i was directed to this blog

yes, i'm looking for piano sheets of Diary of Jane
i know, lagu tu dh LAMA sgt
but the thing is, i've been searching for it like.. years ago
and i aven't succeeded in it
so i told myself to do the chords on my own
but i was TOO busy to even touch the piano
ye la STUDY sgt kan?

ugh its 5.30 in the morning
i aven't sleep yet
wht the hell is wrong with u WOMAN! haha

  • i've got some warnings to do. don't worry, you'll soon figure out what does that mean
  • i've some drafts that needs to be clear out PRONTO
  • one of the things that i wish i could say to him that i still kept inside, " i'm you're number one fan and always be, you're my one and only inspiration"
  • i know that those dreams are just illusions of the heart but i can't help to think and feel that it feel.. so real.. it feels..huh..i just felt that i was really hugging them, her at that moment. but just as open my eyes, GOD how i wish i didn't open it at all, at least ...iust.. just to be with them..even if its in a dream. at least there..i'm still with them.. am i fooling myself again with this? huh..
ps:" you're so close, yet so far. "

oh here's from robert coslow

Reconstruction by Rob Costlow


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Friday, February 13, 2009 4:31 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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