i don't know why but i'll automatically become pissed off and mad instantly.
eventhough it happens like months ago,
but to realise that i just found it out months after it all happened and whats worst that it didn't came from her own mouth you know.
and that just makes me feel even more sad to see and realise that
i'm as her best friend, didn't know anything at all.
it feels like just yesterday we shook hands and made a pinky promise to never keep secrets from each other.
yet, yesterday are so far.
it was in my grasp, but now..
its just not there anymore.
and that just it.
i couldn't even be mad at her even if i look into her eyes right now.
everything is just all messed up.
my heart is broken more than it should be.
a guy could say that he loves me right now, but i know, i won't feel a thing at all.
and thats just sad.
i'm sorry to you know who you are.
you're nice, but don't fall for me.
cause either of us will get hurt in the end.
and you really deserve much better.
but back to my point,
i used to think that i could still hold on to my memories that are still alive.
that are still around me.
but i always end up being disappointed all the time.
i don't blame anyone or anything.
i knew it better.
i knew it from the beginning that happy ending is just isn't for me.
but its just sad to be disappointed by a person you thought you could trust.
sad.. is not even a word for this feeling.
but it's her life.
i can't do anything about it.
i mean, i've tried telling her, but she didn't listen.
i would understand why she didn't say anything about it.
but we're best friend.
shouldn't best friend.. be best friend?
i mean, tell one another the truth.
even though it took you years, but telling the truth is the most important thing right?
i just.. i just don't get it.
you can't just say that you forgot to tell me about it.
things like that stuck in your head, especially if it involved your mom too.
you're terrified every second if the secrets is found out by your mom.
your family might accept you cause your their blood, but what about friends?
they're not toys.
you know what, why am i wasting my time, making my heart hurt more than it is?
it's your life.
just.. take care of yourself.
if you need me or anything, you know where to look for me.
if you don't find me there, i'm sorry.
that just means Allah just loves me more.
if you know what i mean.
time is moving, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.