FASYA IBRAHIM

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taggy by nuha :) , another episode of my life 1, Younha

1) Apakah nama blog anda sekarang dan kenapa anda memilih nama itu?

FASYA'S MAGNANIMITY,
it means high-mindedness or noble or generosity

my generosity to even write the blog, haha

2) Apakah link blog anda sekarang dan bagaimana boleh timbul idea untuk menamakannya seperti itu?

http://fasyaoekaki.blogspot.com

fasya is my nickname, and oekaki is a japanese word for online drawing boards that allow people to draw online and post their art work through an applet ( online program ).
you see how it reflects this blog? lol

3) Apakah 'method' penulisan dalam blog anda?

well, i like to express alot, so most of the time i elaborate ALOT haha
and i love writing about other ppl rather than my own story,
just want to show off who has been inspired me haha :P

4) Pernah terasa nak hapuskan blog anda? Sebabnya?

nah, there's no reason to tear it down, and there's also no reason for me not to tear it down.
haha its a yes and no situation, you know what i mean?

5) Apakah pendapat anda mengenai blog kepada pemilik blog yang tag anda ni?

she's an amazing writer, i swear! :D
reading her blog is like a must, haha
she has this crazy weird way of expressing herself which made me giggle :)

6) 5 orang seterusnya untuk ditag?
; atok :P
; najwa
; syda
; kak huda :)
; kak tati.

TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS

FOR ONE HOUR

ON 28TH OF MARCH

AT 8:30PM TILL 9:30 PM

LETS DO OUR PART IN EARTH HOUR

i opened my eyes, a blurry image of my room becomes clearer and clearer. i checked my phone, its 6 o'clock. i only get 3 hours of sleep. something's not right. felt too scared to sleep again. probably because of the dream that i had. it was too sad that it scares me to be awake. or maybe it was just the alarm that woke me up. i sat on my side of the bed and flashbacks of what i had yesterday. at that moment i think i was gonna get all teary again. i stood up and went to the master bedroom. only daddy could be seen.

daddy: good morning.

as usual, nothing change. except me. from time to time, i won't be here.

daddy: yes? is there something you want to say?

always with a smile on his face, yet he is not the type of person that can easily be read. his eyes were red. something in common, we both didn't get enough sleep. i wouldn't be surprised he ask me that way, it's not me to be so early and went straight to his room.
they're right. a mother could be better in every single thing a man could do, but one thing for sure, a man is amazing when they have that power, called A FATHER.
sad i can't say the same thing for some fathers out there.

"nothing. good morning daddy"

i cleaned myself up and pray to God to ease my pain and my troubled heart. i felt calm.... for a little while. i predicted something is bound to happen.

daddy:" here, check it out. IMU is in there. just see which you are interested. come and talk to me ok."

i took the STarspecial paper from him. no wonder i couldn't find it yesterday. i read it on the spot eventhough daddy had gone to get ready for work. i read thoroughly. taylors, icu, mahsa, even the universities that nuha wrote on her blog. IMU...IMU.. "realising students' dreams "...

my dream?
and i saw music, commucation and media.

along: " well you're early to be reading paper "
" daddy talked about IMU."
along: " oh yeah, a tough place. pernah offer, tpi xnk terima. along x rajin. plus you won't have a life. "

i think i read the whole paper for 6 times. maybe thats why i went all teary. my eyes were still hurt because of not enough sleep. or was that the reason?
for the first time... i was scared.. that i couldn't live to my parents expectation. daddy's expectation.. maybe.. maybe mama was right... maybe i'm just trying to continue something daddy loved. not what i want.. but i know i want them to be proud... for who i am..
but who i am is not what they want, its who they want me to be... and i just can't be...
thats why i'm scared.. haha...

i layed on the floor and stared at the ceiling leaving the paper rite next to me. my mind just keeps on working and working. thousands of puzzles were in my heads, pictures and memories... didn't check the time for how long. all i knew, i end up falling a sleep again....

.........
i woke up. its 7.30. the world seems so gloomy. i felt like running. and thats exactly what i did; jogging. its the same feeling i got when i had a big fight with my mother the day after spm results were out.

mama: " why can't you listen to me for once? haven't spm teach you anything?? its just same as pmr. i'm your mother! so the results are terrible, law is good for you. look at along and angah, they're doing fine at law. just give me the paper and i'll check what is good for you"

i guess i was too grumpy and emotional that time. who doesn't if they didn't had 2 days of sleep? especially after a big fall. i became rebellious. my mum was impatient, start yelling and throwing my stuffs making a big mess. i defend my stand but guess i still respect my mother that i let go of the paper.

the look on her face... i just couldn't stand it.... so i did what i did.. i ran.. i ran out of the house..
it was still dark that morning. i still remember... the sounds of a man reciting the al-Quran...
i kept running, no specific destination... until i reached at the mosque. i sat there till i listened to the sounds of Azan... i slowly walked and head back to my house..

i didn't even look at my mother. i went straight to my room and change into my jogging outfit. and i went power walking. didn't know for how long. didn't know why, i just felt like running. it started to drizzled but i kept on running.

kakjannah: " farah, hujan la, kang demam "

mama was there, she didnt say anything. she didn't even look at me. we were like strangers. i'm getting used to this. not only with my own mother.. but with the whole world...
the rain stopped. and i went inside and started to do skipping, until i passed out. i layed on the floor of the house living room.. tears start to roll down...

patheticly, AGAIN i felt that i'm all alone... in this entire universe...
there was only me, tears, and music... as it is NOW..

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

I CRY, I CRY
doo buhn dah shee neun
ool jee ahn geht dahn yahk sohk doh haet neun deh
I CRY, I CRY
doo bohl eh heu reun
noon chee doh uhp neun nae noon mool heun juhk eh~

ddoh ool uht nyah goh bah boh nyah goh nae bohl eul mahn jee myuh
kkohk ah nah joo neun geh nuh moo doh joh ah ssuht nah bwah

sarang hahn dah neun geu mahl joh chah doh hahl soo uhp neun nae mahm
ah jeek nahn uh ree dah goh geu juh kkoh mah roh mahn nahl saeng gahk hah nee kkah
jee tuh jeen nae hwah jang eh doh oot gee mahn hahn geu dae
geu ruhn geu dae ddae moon eh nae gah ool goh eet neun guhl ah nah yo~

I CRY, I CRY boh goh sheep uh suh
bahm sae ool dah gah jahm deu neun nahl eh neun
I CRY, I CRY nah ool uh dah gah
geu dae yeh geh nahn kkohk juhn hwah reul hah jyo~

ddoh ool uht nyah goh bah boh nyah goh nae mahm doh moh reu goh
nahl dahl lae joo neun geh nuh moo doh joh ah ssuht nah bwah

sarang hahn dah neun geu mahl joh chah doh hahl soo uhp neun nae mahm
ah jeek nahn uh ree dah goh geu juh kkoh mah roh mahn nahl saeng gahk hah nee kkah
ah seul hahn oot chah reem eh doh oot gee mahn hahn geu dae
geu ruhn geu dae ddae moon eh nae gah ool goh eet neun guhl ah nah yo~

nah gee dah ryuh jyuh yo
geu dae yeh geh neun ah jeek nah uh ree geh boh ee geht jyo
nae soh neul jahp geh dweh neun nahl
nae bohl eh eep maht choo neun nahl
uhn jehn gah geu daen oh geh dwehl teh jyo
OOH WO...

sarang hae geu mahl joh chah doh hahl soo uhp neun nae mahm
ah jeek nahn uh ree dah goh geu juh kkoh mah roh mahn nahl saeng gahk hah nee kkah
uhn jehn gah nah geu dae mahn ae yuh jah gah dweh neun nahl
geu ddaen ool jee ah nah doh nah reul kkohk ah nah joo geel bah rae yo~ (OOH HOO)

geu gae geu dae ee gee reul bah rae yo

i just realised, i never set my alarm 6 oclock.
it only turn on at 6.30.
heh.

notes;
- i hope this post doesn't really give you guys a headache.
its abit complicated, but everything is connected.
you can't just read it, cause you wouldn't understand.
try thinking. exercise your neurons, lol

~thegirlwho strut and frets her life
alang

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