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a daring confessions

i dream while i'm awake not to pass time, i dream to pass life.




*berangan dlm english dream ar kan? tpi dream tu mimpi -_-" pfft sah aku tgh amnesia*


ok ok, i know. running away won't help at all
besides, its actually stupid.

TO YOU,
listen cause i'm not gonna repeat this anymore. i want to live ON.
not MOVE ON.
i won't repeat that sentence also.

ok back to my real point.

i... huh..
honestly this is hard. but i gotta do this.
i NEED to face my fear and myself.




huh..
when there's problem, i ran away.
you're right.
i'm afraid to face the reality.



not that i can't accept the truth, its just i can't bear the truth.
the truth when someone is leaving me or.. not there anymore..


the truth that i couldn't do anything to make it better.
that i couldn't stop the pain.




the truth when i made a big mistake and i couldn't do anything to fix it.




and sometimes, when i failed to control my feelings, i would runaway as well.
and at times when things are not going exactly my way.

i would runaway at this certain time.




so right now, i want to be totally honest.
no matter how much its gonna hurt me or anybody.


cause, i'm not that girl who lies and cries alone.


i.. i just found the truth today.
so i'm gonna tell you right here right now.








I'M NOT OVER YOU.











as hard as it can be, it is the truth.
you wanna know why i say like that?





because, the few months of not having you around.
at first, it was hard.


but as time goes by, i kept telling myself to live on even if i can't move on.
i did.

i live on, i was imperfectly happy.

i had friends around me. who cares alot about me. i have my favourite bloggers who always cheers me up *yes i'm talking about you fazra and nuha lol *



like i said before, i finally felt happy without you.
it was hard, but i did it.
i MADE IT.




but seeing you again.
that made me realise, that i wasnt over you.




i don't want to make it hard on you.
but this is the truth.
i just want to let it out.


i miss letting out at blog, so, SORRY BLOG but you're back to you're old job for this post.
LOL





even if we didn't talk face to face, you can imagine how weird it has made an impact to me right now.








i... i found out the truth about you.
so i wanna make it even so that you would know the truth about me.

even if i didn't hear it from your mouth, which kinda made me dissapointed but its ok.



you have changed alot. i don't know why or how, but thts your choice.
just.. huh.. just... never mind.
there's no point.
you're not that old you anymore.

whats the point of telling you this.


seriously, i am dissapointed in you.
i feel so wrong.


i really wonder if i was the one that made you change this way.
but if it really was me, i should be doing wht you are doing right now.



but i'm not. cause i know who i am. and i'm better than that.
i won't turn my back on my words.


and i won't cheat or hurt someone who cares about me.


but YOU!
god..



YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME.



THATS ALL.
not gonna babble anymore. finito



from,
miss emohectic

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009 12:07 AM
Posted by — Fasya Ibrahim.
FASYA IBRAHIM (facebook)
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