fasya's Grandiloquence

After 2 years (or maybe 3)

2012-01-02T02:28:00.009+08:00

People still watches my video ? wow That is amazing. I'm really touched. This is like a 2012 gift for me :D

and I just realise that one of my videos reaches 7000 views -__-
well during 2 years of course. and I didn't even share it. I just posted it and wait from some random people to stumble upon it and say 'hey this might be a good video to troll'.

Thank you again.

With that I bring myself (and you that is reading this) back to past :)

Dear ex friend.

2011-12-31T03:57:00.002+08:00

We still live the same town, well don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore.
I go to all the same places
Not even a trace of you.
Your days are numbered at 24.

honestly, you make me worried and anxious to know where are you and how you've been. On the other side, I wish I never care.

T-ara

2011-12-30T03:14:00.003+08:00

I used to just like them. I mean, If I see they have a new song with MV, I'll definitely check it out.
They have never disappointed me with their songs and MV.

So their latest (well to me since I don't online that much) video, kinda really made me fall for them again.
And I'm pretty much sure I'm craving for their album. I mean not just the new one, I'm actually wondering if I could get their 1st, 2nd and 3rd album as well.

Crazy right ? Just for some girl group.

But I really kinda having that crave right now.
Hem, it might go away. But My craving for Demi Lovato still hasn't gone away.
Huhu, I heard that someone bought me the cd. But I'm too shy to ask for it >,<

K bye, miss you bloggie :D

Wo Aini

2011-11-19T04:33:00.003+08:00

I just have to let you know, cause I don't say this much, but if I do, then at least I know I am doing my job as a friend. Cause frankly I haven't been a good friend lately -__-

But anyway back to my point, Aini, YOUR AWESOME.
I swear you are so good in making surprises. YOUR AMAZING in being a friend and you definitely are the greatest. Words can't even describe how great you've been treating me, farhah and the rest of the world.

I swear nothing tears you down. Cause you will always find your way back to happiness :)

Aini, WE'RE ALWAYS HERE. I appreciate everything you do to me. I love you.

And You are one of the people that God sent to me specifically to keep close cause you are 'SOMETHING'. So I shall keep you safely in my heart <3

ps; do tell me if i've been a bad friend :'(

BYE TAKE CARE AINI ! Dont let those adults work let you down and studies make you frown. For I WILL SAVE YOU! that is if I get to go back hehe :P call me ok !

LOVE YA !

Lost in Found

2011-11-19T03:57:00.005+08:00

Dear friends,

Do take care and I wish you all the best.
Each one of you is in my heart, regardless you know or may not know.
I heart you dearly.

Good life :)

Real Steel Review

2011-11-15T03:12:00.003+08:00

Trust me, I've watched this after 6 days it was released. I'm posting just cause I feel like it. So yeah, just sharing a quote that I'll never forget.

Bailey (Evangeline Lilly): " 1200 miles for a kiss? *tearing up* "
Charlie (Hugh Jackman): " Worth it. So worth it. "

aww :')

Sure as hell this movie was not about actions. It was more to inspirational. It was like seeing Forest Gump again, except a newer and less sentimental than Forest Gump. And MODERN. haha

I mean, sure, you see them fights the robots and all. But if you check, the last fight where the dude had to box for real cause the robot can't received any orders from the headphone, both Bailey and Max was admiring Charlie boxing and enjoying every second of it. And it was in SLOW MO.

I swear, slow mo really gives alot of impact. At least to me.
Well I cried twice during the movie. Cause of the father to son thingy and all those mushy gushy stuffs.

But nonetheless it was a good movie after all.

Go buy the cd or download. You know how some movies just makes you feel like any dreams could come true, yes this movie is the same. Soooooooo whatever floats your boat.

It can move you. Or not. LOL :D

well kbye :D miss ya bloggie :)

ps; This blog gets random alot these days. Wonder who reads this :D

NurulNasquinNazawawe

2011-11-11T02:09:00.005+08:00

From fasya's Grandiloquence

Budak ni kadang2 comel sangat sampai mintak kena gigit kekadang nya. haha
haish Gwang Soo ni :P

<3 u

ps; nanti I upload gambar hari ini ok ;)

I want

2011-10-19T02:17:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I'm getting addicted to buying original CDs.

current addiction songs :

Saya nak untuk birthday saya boleh ?

Eventhough I'm late,

2011-09-14T20:40:00.003+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya from my Awesome Family ! :)

Ampun maaf jika ada yang terasa dengan saya. Yang masih membenci saya, semua pintu hati anda terbuka untuk memaafkan saya. Semoga hati awak yang gelap, putih semua dengan cahaya Ilahi.

Bye ! :)

Status

2011-08-28T03:09:00.001+08:00

do you feel happy or proud of hurting a girl, breaking her into tears ? is your ego as a man limits you from knowing what is the right thing to do ? is sorry SO HARD FOR YOUR MANLY PRIDE that you can't even say it ? tsk, talk about leadership of A MAN. you can't even explain yourself. pity pity you

I feel happy reading this again. Never knew I had it in me. :D

Movies I Wanna See

2011-08-27T04:44:00.002+08:00

November, I'm celebrating my birthday with many movies
From top to bottom. Happy Feet is back baby ;)

I don't know bout you but fluffy is still fluffy. So whether the story line is not as amusing as it was last time, I know there must be something spicy inside this movie.

Due to requests of the audience, DreamWork is finally making this movie work. The same old kitty cat cute funny jokes. Well I'm not really that excite but not to put anything on the line, let's wait what will happen ;)

yeah we all know this is coming in theater next week. Well the trailers... um.. didn't give sparks to me. I mean it's like I can already predict whats about to happen and how it will end. so *yawn* ANYLOO, I won't say much until I've watched it. Hope that DisneyPixar doesn't disappoint me. Cause they never do ;)

well Harold and Kumar is coming back to theater. Now most of movies are coming out in 3D, but they don't really make it as a 3D, I mean only few of the scene of the movie look 3D like. But from the trailer, I think this movie is gonna work just fine with the 3D.

I'm missing out alot of trailers, but I'm getting too bored with this post. So...
Bye ! :D

Time After Time

2011-08-13T02:03:00.004+08:00

Its a matter of time when I will look back at all this, and smile.
Time is all I need.
Time was what I need from the start. And no one had given me.
So I'm gonna do what no one else can do.

ps; life is all about risk. without risk, you're not living.

It rains.

2011-07-24T03:33:00.001+08:00

I think what I hate about this part is being alone, again.

Tears

2011-07-22T18:46:00.002+08:00

I sacrifice my all just to keep this going on, so that it will not end. So that we can actually make that forever come true.
And all you had to do was to just stay.
That was all.
Is it so hard to stay in love ?

Wonder

2011-07-20T05:18:00.004+08:00

at some point, I would ask myself.
"Is this where I want to be ?"

Advice to Self

2011-06-09T12:44:00.000+08:00

Jangan Fasya. Allah sedang menduga kau ni. Kau kena lulus ujian ini untuk buktikan kau lagi hebat dari mereka. Biarlah mereka cuba nak jatuhkan kau, sakitkan kau. Jangan kau sekali pun balas. Allah Maha Berkuasa. Kalau kau betul-betul tak bersalah, insya'Allah Allah akan tunjukkan jugak. Diorg akan dapat jugak balasan dia. Percayalah dengan Allah.

Falling Stars

2011-05-22T02:57:00.003+08:00

It's gonna rain tonight. No no, not outside the house. But inside my house. Oh, there she goes :)
honestly I do miss blogging, but at some point, I just don't know what to write anymore.
Cause every sentence I will start off, it will become the beginning of a sad blog.

Sorry blog for torturing you with my endless sadness.

Don't you just hate it when you were just minding your own business and you feel as if there's no reason to get mad or fight about ? But all of a sudden, somebody just got up all on your face making you feel miserable and wonder why you even exist in this world.

It sucks I tell ya.

Dude, fighting with your parents does not feel fine to me especially when you haven't done anything wrong.

And life's suffering does not stop there. You end up having a huge argument with your own loved one.

And that just makes you wonder, why ? I'm asking God, why did I do now ?
When am I going to be enough for anybody ?

And what's even more suckier, you slept through the day cause you were tired and had nothing to do. So now, you have evolved into an owl.

So now, I just have to suck my sadness up and cry my ass off wondering when is this pain going to end ?

What hurts more, you woke up today and you even said to yourself, I want to get through today and when I sleep, I'm gonna do it with a smile.

Well, I guess God must know what's best for me. And hurting is just one of it.

You wanna know what would be really nice right now ? A shoulder to cry on. It would be really nice.. *smiles in bitterness*

sincerely,
Fasya

Trick To Reduce Your Weight :D

2011-05-17T22:26:00.002+08:00

Check it out check it out ! :D

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new
gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on
the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They
lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and
ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out
steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up
speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down
the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's
about
to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes
the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure
enough, he lost exactly 5kg.

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"God, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time...
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign, "If I catch you, you're
mine."

Storyboard Teaser Production

2011-05-12T01:14:00.004+08:00

It's a part of an assignment in completing my course of study for Semester 3. So this is just a teaser.
I've uploaded at facebook the official storyboard. I'll put a link here soon k.

By the way, thank you Alvota25 for lending me his cover song.

Synopsis : What if it is just something that we overlook in life ? What if it is all because we have forgotten those good moments when we are over shadowed by grief and sadness? What if maybe we've lived too long to understand and realise what are the reasons we are breathing and living in this world ? Do you even still remember what was the first thing your parents taught you ? Maybe if you could just stop and appreciate the moments, you might just get back on your feet. Just one stop.

CSI NY

2011-05-11T01:12:00.000+08:00

‎"There's a lot of things in this world that we dont and never understand. But it is never a reason for us to kill someone." (Mac Taylor, 2011)

TPH for Tun Putih

2011-05-10T01:23:00.004+08:00

Freaking hell, I'm an effing student who should be worrying more about my studies rather than trying to kill myself to get myself a place to stay. And not to mention, wearing my energy out just to keep a place to stay AND coping with people's attitude around the place. SEE how much energy and emotions I've wasted instead of focusing all of it into studying ???????

And by the way,

My YDP is really getting on my nerves. Ok maybe she's mad at someone else cause SOMEONE posted on my college's facebook page(yes, they have a facebook) saying that they want to 'mogok' cause they didn't get college t-shirt. OK HERE'S THE THING.

I MYSELF didn't get the t-shirt, but hey, i'm cool with it. Cause I think I'm brainiac enough to actually FIGURE out that you can always pick up the clothes at the next opening sem. I mean, it's not like you're gonna die because you didn't get your t-shirt or anything.

I MEAN REALLLY ?????!!

C'mon !!!! You can always ask for a refund if they didn't get the clothes for you. YEAH, REFUND! Haven't you heard of it ???
Aww, you haven't ?? Well go back to primary school then !
You're already in a university and you dont even know what is refund, THATS BULLSHIT!

THERE I SAID IT.

AND BY THE WAY, as I was saying,

MY BELOVED YDP wrote down on a comment on a post that one of MY LEVELMATES WROTE (NOT ME OK, MY LEVELMATE).
She wrote down asking about t-shirt. Well like others asked.
So YDP clear the whole thing out and leaving this comment to the MAMA LEVEL (which include me)

"Mesej sudah disampaikan kepada MT level..

Kpda mama level:sile cek bebetul sblum bckap.."

Whoa whoa whoa whoaaah!
Na'a. Did you just whipped my ass ? CAUSE TECHNICALLY, you're like saying that all of this was my fault ? Are you saying that my levelmates didn't get their t-shirts cause I was not doing a good job as a mama level cause I DIDN'T CHECK A THING???!!!

Ok correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe I misinterpreted the comment that she wrote, or maybe she was REALLY MAD with all the responses that she got from the other students that she HAD TO put it out on me ????

Dude, you're a YDP. You should have known better that you WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE TO FACE THESE KIND OF THINGS. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. So don't get mad if someone under your leadership, didn't delivered their message as you ordered them.

I REPEAT, I did not get any information about the t-shirt. I did not get any information on I should be meeting other MT levels about the t-shirt. Cause as I remembered, one of the MT levels came through my door asking who has ordered a t-shirt from my room, and I said only me. And she specificly said she will inform about the t-shirt.

AND THAT WAS IT !!!!

So don't be all up in my face girl !!! Cause I didn't get any information about it ok !

Damn, You're a ydp and you don't even know how to treat people right? That's lunatic.

But you know what? Since you're really stress out with others stupidity, I figure I'd better forgive and let it be. Instead of me blowing up and replying to your comment, I'll just blow up in my blog and relieve myself here as well.

Cause as you can see, I'm a professional.

I write what I want, what I feel, and what I think.

So YDP. No hard feelings. I feel sorry for you that you had to be burden with many problems, but hey it's your job. You vowed to the responsibility when you put yourself up to audition for the position. So it's the price you have to pay.

I'm just sorry that the price was really high.

I wish you and Tun Putih's MT all the best and have an easy going and less problematic journey in handling Tun Putih.

Amin..

Goodbye and Goodnite.

Sincerely,
Fasya

ps; pleasure dedicating my sweats and tears for Tun Putih's Cheer Competition for 3 whole sems. 1 year and a half was fun and ever so amazing. Love and will miss those moments.

:) <3

Patience

2011-05-07T06:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it is better to just stay quiet and sit still. Everything will always find their way.

Teruskanlah - Agnes Monica

2011-04-27T23:38:00.005+08:00

Do you know what is like, when you feel as if you're not important to anyone at all ? Like you scream and cry so hard, but nobody could see it ?
Your whole world crashes right before you and there's nothing you could do.

You tell yourself you've been here before. You've been hurt like this before. But why everytime, you just had to cry when it happens all over again?

I'm sorry heart, for hurting you so much.
It hurt so bad...

Pernahkah kau bicara
Tapi tak di dengar
Tak di anggap
Sama sekali

Pernahkan kau tak salah
Tapi disalahkan
Tak di beri
Kesempatan

Kuhidup dengan siapa
Ku tak tau kau siapa
Kau kekasihku tapi
Orang lain bagiku

Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskan lah.. Teruskan lah
Kau begitu

Kau tak butuh diriku
Aku patung bagimu
Cinta bukan
Kebutuhan mu

Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskan lah.. Teruskan lah
Kau.. kau begitu

Teruskan lah… teruskan lah..

18 March 2011

2011-03-19T12:05:00.002+08:00

Khamis Malam Jumaat.

Just arrived in my room suddenly got an phone call.

"Alang..." sobbing.
"Eh omma ke tu ?"
"Alang... atok dah takde lagi.." burst into crying.

The world stop spinning, my heart stops beating.

Allah is testing. Allah will only test those He loves.
Allah, if this test will make me better than I am before, then I am prepare to sacrifice my soul to this pain and gain the better me.

You took away one life and gave 3 more lives to our family.

Congratulations Kakya for having a baby girl. Alhamdulillah.
and congratulations Pakcu Muhammad and Makcu for getting another pair of twins.
Insya'Allah, it will boys this time. Let Allah decide.

Allah, tempatkanlah arwah datuk ku di kalangan orang-orang yang soleh. semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.

Datuk, kami sangat menyayangi dan merindui datuk.

Farah Syafiqah Binti Ibrahim

2011-03-05T18:34:00.002+08:00

I'm not a model.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not skinny.
I'm not a musician.
I'm not creative.
I'm not genius.
I'm no good at photography.
I'm easily offended.
I talked too loud.
I fake my smiles alot.
I have problems remembering things.
I don't have license let alone a car.
I don't have awesome gadgets or amazing camera.
I am not famous.
I am not a superstar.
I am not funny.
I'm not loveable.

so who am I to compared to you? and who am I to be with you ? You're like the king and I'm just a peasant.

I'm just a nobody...

Marriage

2011-02-28T11:31:00.003+08:00

Something I read from Huda's FB. She posted this link that had a story.
whether you are in a relationship or not, married OR not, you SHOULD really read this.
It will change everything. Enjoy reading it.

ps; *click stalk more :P *

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Finding Battle Songs

2011-02-28T03:25:00.001+08:00

I'm listening to Persona3 soundtrack. Crap. I miss playing that game so badly.

When Sorry and Love Is Not Enough

2011-02-23T17:21:00.003+08:00

Why ? Why we like to hurt ourselves ?
Cmon fasya ! WAKE UP !

You can't go on like this!

honestly, I think my level of thinking has become weaker and weaker.

Allah, give me signs. Guide me, tell me what to do. Cause I don't have a single clue.

The same thing all over again.
Stumble, scratched, clawed. Yet it always has to be me.
I always end up coming back to that place and let myself going through those painful process again.

Is it worth it all anyway ?

What am I still missing right now ? Why is it not enough ?

Oh God, I can't even think anymore.

ps; Thank you to all that helped. Sorry that I made everyone worried. I'm ok now. Thank you Sir Rauf and Sir Anwar for calling the ambulans.
I promise to take care of myself from now on.
I don't want to burden you guys anymore. Thank you for caring me when I almost.. huh.. Only God knows how much I owe and grateful to have you guys around.

Allah, is it bad for me to say.. emm I actually wish that he was there ?
I know everyone else was there to helped me. I just wish he would turn back and helped me as well.

If this is wrong for me to say, then forgive me for having this feeling.
And give me strength in helping myself in forgetting.

I only have you Allah.

Fasya

Honestly

2011-02-10T03:42:00.000+08:00

I'm not angry, I'm just hurt. I'm not crazy, I'm just not your average girl. I'm not sad, I'm just disappointed. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm just being real.

Fasya

Everything went to waste

2011-02-03T02:15:00.004+08:00

How the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those day we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

All the things I still remember
Summers never looked the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
Reach for something that's already gone

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Yeah, We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would up here the way we are

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Kun FayaKun

2011-02-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

On second thought,
Because of the species CALLED MAN, I've become stronger and immune with the negativity of life.

So let me just say Thank You.
Thank you for breaking me to pieces and letting me build myself up from scratch on my own.
I've become stronger because of you people.

From scars, from bruises, from broken promises, from lies, from disappointments.
From all of that, I've become better than I could have be.

To be honest, you didn't had to put me go through all of that actually.
I was even better before all of it.
But it's ok.
Sometimes you just have to fall down real HARD to get what you earn.

And what I earn is happiness.

So MR so faithful to his gf, I hope you're serious with her. Cause if I see another girl broken because of you or the other way around. heh
I don't wanna say anything ok.

Everything is all is Allah's hand. Kun Fa Ya Kun.

"Tapi saya lebih sayang Allah."

I want a guy to love me not because of me. But because of Allah.
Amin.

Muhasabahlah diri mu.

ps; I'm not perfect. I know. But that just mean you're not too :)

Fasya
xoxo

Dear friend,

2011-02-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

I am really disappointed with you.
Not only you ruined my relationship because of your stupidity. Seriously, it was your fault to begin with. Why destroy mine just because your's are going down the drain ?
Seriously man, I can't believe you.
For so long, I've been patient with you. I EVEN LIED FOR YOU TO YOUR CURRENT 'GIRLFRIEND'.

AND I STILL HAVE TO.

Well, I wish you farewell, and I hope she is THE ONE. Cause I still remember, YOU GAVE ME HOPE that you will come back to me. I WASTED MY LIFE WAITING FOR A GUY WHO ACTUALLY REPLACED ME AND HAD NO HEART TO EVEN CONSIDER HOW I FELT.

SHAME ON YOU.

The fact that I still care about you, just hurts me more. Cause I really dont wanna wish you well. But all that I wish right now, is for you to realise how much I've put myself in for you and to thank me someday.

But for that to happen, it's like wishing for snow in Malaysia.

And to you "current girlfriend", I'm sorry that I've caused alot of hassle.
Never have once I meant bad things.
He was the bestest friend I've ever had. He is more than anyone could be.
He was more that I didn't even see that he would do this.

Jodoh di tangan Tuhan.

Biarlah Allah tentukan segalanya.

I will not fall for a guy anymore.

I've been pushed away, turned down, pulled in, scratched, scars.
All of that, lead me to nothing.

Allah, give me strength to go through this.
Don't ever ever let me feel vulnerable. I want to feel as strong as I am now for as long as I live.

Oh yeah, What I don't understand, your GF can actually tolerate that some of your BFF is your ex.
So what so different about me ?
The different is, YOU LIED TO HER.

Sad isn't it ? If it wasn't for your stupidity to lie, this wouldn't happen.

Forget the fact you were always there when I need you.
Forget the fact we've been friends longer than we were lovers.
Forget the fact that you always put me in high hopes.

Let's get the fact straight, you're not that person anymore.

My advice, please don't all the above to your new GF.
She's an angel to actually to accept your apology.
But hey, it's you. Who wouldn't accept your apology huh ?
Except me :)

Well, too much talking will only cause me sin.

So, farewell, be well and... don't go to hell ?
hahaha just kidding dude.
I'm not that heartless as you are.

Have fun, I'll vanished into thin air, as if we have never met at all.

ps; Wasted pearls from eyes.

RIP ANDY 1FEB2011

Family = Enemy

2010-12-30T18:02:00.003+08:00

Yes, family is always first.
But how can they be worst than my friends are ?
No offense. When friends or haters threaten to hurt you, it doesn't damage you that much, cause you know you have someone to back you up. Cause you friends are much bigger bitches than the haters are, AND THEY ACTUALLY LOVE ME.

But when family threatens you, what are you doing to do ?
If you rebel, you'll be black sheep forever. (the fact that I AM ONE)
I hate being given options that I can't even choose. Instead I just have to give up and throw all my dreams away, BECAUSE OF MY 'DEARLY LOVING' FAMILY.

For once, I don't feel like my life is unfair. I actually think the reason my life feels that way, is because of YOU.

I respect you. Yes you are the reason why I was born in this world.
And you raised me well enough to see what is right and wrong. But what am I going to do if you don't give me a chance to prove that I DO KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG.

oh of course, it is cause I make mistakes. A WHOLE LOT OF THEM.
But I thought you said it is the process of life !
People MAKE MISTAKES. THEY CAN NEVER RUN AWAY FROM IT !

ERGGHH !

ps; my family can be the closest enemies I have ever got.

Fasya
xoxo

Rebel

2010-12-30T01:41:00.002+08:00

I'm depressed. And that's all I've got to say for now.
I'm depressed like in a state that no one have ever gone through. If they think they've gone through shits before many times, well if they listen to my story, the only sound you will hear is you breathing in the details. SILENTLY.

SPEECHLESS. yup that's what Farhah said.
I, myself is speechless of the situation I am in.
But that's a joke, when as a matter of fact, I'm IN IT.

Put it simple, EVERYONE HATES ME. That's all I've got to say.
This karma. And it's not biting, it's sucking my blood and life out.
Thank you.

ps; Allah, is this a sign ? Why am I still forcing my way out of this ?
Daddy, Omma. I'm sorry. But I just have to disappoint you over and over again.
And this time, it's big.
I'm sorry, but I gotta do.
*breathing in*

Call me crazy, but I think I've come far enough to go back. Enough said.

Fasya; The most rebellious Daughter ever who does not deserve to live
xoxo

3rd Day : 8 Things That Annoys Me

2010-12-25T15:38:00.002+08:00

confused ? read 1st post and 2nd post

i. PMS
A common symptom in almost every girl in this world.
When you have PMS, you have mood swings, back pain, weak strength and even, PIMPLES.
Yes, trust me, when I'm having that time of the month, DON'T mess with me.
Any irritating jokes that I feel like I can't take, say saeunara to your life :)

ii. Unknown numbers/miss calls.
Don't you just hate it when you have no idea who is calling you but every time you try to pick up the phone and suddenly the other line just hang up when you were about to say hello ?
Seriously man. It's almost 2011. Can't you get any lamer than that ?
And yes, don't text me asking who I am. If I ever get a hold of you, you won't see another sunrise. Seriously. If you're clever enough to get my number without me knowing who you are, then I think you're not THAT DUMB to figure out who I am.
*note the despise tone*

iii. Accusations.
Seriously, it's like waaaaaaay against my principle of life if someone starts judging me and accusing me of what I haven't done.
It sickens me to actually think that they have the right to tell me off.
Even my family. Seriously.

iv. Break up.
I hate that word. I do. I just hate either it is for better or for wrongs. I just hate it. Sorry.

v. Unappreciated.
Seriously, this has come to a point that it is not even annoying anymore. IT HURTS DEEP.
You tried your best, gave your best, but no one seem to acknowledge all those hard work. Gosh, feels like punching the wall again. Seriously.

vi. Backstabbers, Liars, Cheaters, Bitches, Jerks, F*ckers and etc etc.
This is common. So thats why I'm putting it in the same list.

vii. Provoke.
There those who are clever in making jokes. But there those who are dumb in making jokes.
My friend, to your circle of friends, you might be funny. But just so you know, not everyone is the same as your circle of friends. So, walk out that stupid shell of yours, and check the real world for once.
Cause if you're not funny in making jokes, then I feel as if you're provoking me.
And with that, I AM ANNOYED. Thank you :)

lastly,

viii. Late.
I hate waiting. I don't mind for 5 minutes but, for freaking 1 hours ? 2 hours ? HELL NO WAY !
so yeah, Late :)

so there you go.
hope anyone of you guys if have any free time, you guys can do this tag thingy ;)

have a nice Merry Christmas :D
Fasya
xoxo

Have Not : Movies

2010-12-22T04:28:00.003+08:00

This is sad.
These are the movies that I haven't watch but really want to watch.

grr geram X(
sentap dengan jojot and nurul sebab diorg dah janji, tapi diorg pergi tanpa saya :(
sentap dgn nasquin sebab dia pergi tgk jugak tanpa saya. hmph

grr geram :(

and many more. but I kinda forgot. oh well :'(

Fasya
xoxo

2nd Day; 9 Things I Do Everyday

2010-12-22T03:39:00.002+08:00

confused about this post ?
read the first post here

i. Of course eat, sleep, shower, drink, poop, pee, walk, sit, pray(if i'm not period) and non the less, living. All of that happens every single freaking day. So yeah, that pretty much sums it all for number one. move along~ lol :P

ii. FACEBOOK. Now that's a must these days. But once i'm back at Lendu, Facebook will be the least option. As what they all said, Part 3 is the craziest sem. Well I have to repeat one paper, so I guess it'll be VERY crazy. Oh well
Karma always bites. And I deserve it I guess. move along~

iii. Songs.
I NEED TO FEED MY SOUL WITH SONGS EACH AND EVERYDAY.
seriously, I'd be lost without songs and zikrullah. yeah, I can't say that I AM REALLY REALLY RELIGIOUS, but I know where I stand.

iv. Dance.
whether there's song or not, I'll dance my day away. Lol and thats just how much I love it.

v. Sing.
Do I need to explain this ? Nope. Not at all :)

vi. Azlan Sulaiman.
Ok my oppa is soo conquering my posts. Lol
He is a must in everyday. Call, sms, Facebook IM, Skype. And I even sacrifice my time and money to spend it with him at his workplace.
heh, wonder if he will ever realise how much I've given him. move along~

vii. Sudoku.
I love playing sudoku. Oh wait I already said this on the last post.
Oh well :)

viii. Youtube
errgh now I realise how boring my life is at home. I don't go out much except going to Oppa's workplace.

lastly,

ix. err.. *thinking thinking*
God, I can't think of anything else -__-'
I don't really watch TV. Oh right, piano.
Ok don't want to think anymore. lol

See ya.
Fasya
xoxo

Hair

2010-12-22T01:56:00.004+08:00

yey ! I manage to do this hair.
err ok, nampak sangat kebosanan tahap 7 langit di situ.

but it was REALLY SIMPLE with messy steps. though it was ok with alil tutorial from Youtube.
so yeah. BORED TO DEATH and forcing oneself to sleep.

haish.. :|

"My hair has it's good day and BAD day. Weirdly, it'd picked to be FABULOUS today. On the day I sit at home and do nothing. Darn it. Lol"

ps; i wish my hair was longer, but then again, i'm not even sure what i'm gonna do once it is long. what style suits me. urghh. tomorrow going out with this hair.
i hope my hair stay fabulous for tomorrow. seriously, don't be so mean to me.

Fasya
xoxo

1st Day ; Ten Random Facts About Me

2010-12-20T05:52:00.004+08:00

Dahlia. I know you've posted this ages ago. But I couldn't complete it cause by the time it was Day 5, I'm already on vacation.
So here I am, to redeem myself :)

others can also join too you know. I miss those tag posts.
Atok and Fazra usually would tag me on those kinds of posts. haha
missed my blogging days :)

oh oh since we are already there, might as well I tag you guys. OKAY ATOK AND FAZRA, you have a challenge. let's begin ;)

Day 1 : Ten Random Facts About Yourself
Day 2 : Nine Things You Do Everyday
Day 3 : Eight Things That Annoys You
Day 4 : Seven Fears/Phobias
Day 5 : Six Songs You're Addicted To
Day 6 : Five Things You Can't Live Without
Day 7 : Four Memories You Won't Forget
Day 8 : Three Words You Can't Go A Day Without Using
Day 9 : Two Things You Wish You Could Do
Day 10 : One Person You Can Trust

i. I'm hyper. But we all know that, don't we ? What we don't know about me is that I can easily break as easy as I laugh. And that's fact.
Not a surprising fact though cause mostly everyone is like that -__-
move along~

ii. I love Sudoku.
For those who don't know what is that, NO IT AIN'T SOME SUSHI OR A JAPANESE NAME.
Seriously man, get your facts right -__-
It's a puzzle game. Some may say it's complicated.

My brother qouted, "Setan mana ntah buat game yang setan macam ni"

Well, he can say like that since he's not good at as I am :)
Don't ask why I love it, don't ask how can I be good at it,
Cause it just happens :)

iii. I love taking pictures. Candidly.
I love to take pictures of scenery the most.
Stars, Oceans, Rainbow, Lights, Sunsets, Anything that soothes the eyes.
I love taking pictures that words can't describe.
I love, I love, I love :)

iv. I hate taking pictures of people who ASKED ME TO TAKE THEIR PICTURES.
Here's a piece of an advice. Ask people politely to take your picture.
Don't act as if you're an effing superstar. Seriously, who do you think you are, going around ordering me like I'm some kind of your photographer. You don't pay me, SO BUZZ OFF.
People nowadays just don't have manners anymore. Enough said.
move along~

v. I love dancing, singing, acting.
Enough said :)

vi. I'm married to Azlan Sulaiman.
err I don't even know why I'm writing this. But hey, I'm just randomly picking my facts up. So yeah, it's pretty much acceptable. lol

vii. I love playing Sorority Life at Facebook :D
It first started at Myspace. Didn't when or how but after I know all the tactics and how to win the game, I became obsessed of leveling up.
The game was too easy and too simple. All it needs is strategy and patience. Cause it could take quite some time for the levelling up process to take place. But it's awesome.
The game has no end, so you can play until you got so bored that you puke. LOL not literally of course.

viii. I can play piano as well as guitar.
oh I'm a multi-talented person as Kaklong Huda always say :)

ix. I love rainbow. That is why I love colourful things. White, pink, blue. Any colours even dark colours. Cause I can be as hyper and emo at the same time. heh
yeah I'm complicated in that way.

and lastly,

x. I love Disney. Very much.
Who doesn't, right ? :)

so there you go. Ten random facts.
Whats yours? :)

Fasya
xoxo

Is It True ?

2010-12-20T05:45:00.003+08:00

That we can't download through internet anymore ?
That they can trace us and sue us ?
Cause that's a HUGE LOST TO ME MAN.

Songs, Videos, Animes. Gosh what am I going to do :(

And dude I do not enjoy the fact that I'm still at episode 58 of Fairy Tail.
ARGGHH I appreciate FairyTailDataBase is uploading those english subbed Fairy Tail episodes, but I just wish they would speed the episodes up :(

erghh, oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

But the fact that Lucy is getting stronger just wow-ed me ! awesome man ! :D

ps; still can't get along with Malaysia'a sleeping time. oh well :)

FASYA
xoxo

I Wish On Each Stars I See Hoping That This Is True

2010-12-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

but it's not, is it ?
sad.

lonely again.

ps; It is an unfortunate that my phone turns to zombie at Europe cause it has no international roaming. So I had to go around secretly using omma's phone or daddy's phone to freaking text someone who i miss dearly.

The sad thing is, after arriving in Malaysia, things just went even more worse. And now I actually wish I didn't have to go back to Malaysia.
That's how sad I am.

pss; I wish I could be less emotional and sensitive. Or better yet, no emotions AT ALL. Amin.

FASYA
xoxo

Quote

2010-12-15T09:28:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, you don't have to be in the picture TO BE THE PICTURE. Sometimes, when I hold the camera, and the picture is beautiful, knowing that I create that picture, makes me feel pretty as well. And not to mention satisfied. I mean hey, that picture wouldn't be existing if I didn't take it, right ? Different people, ...different camera, yet same angle of an image can create different picture, no ? Well to me, yes :)

~fsi, 15/12/10, 6am

14th December 2010 Drama

2010-12-15T08:33:00.004+08:00

Incident in the train station.
Now this is some effed up DRAMA HERE. so READ THIS. seriously.

We were trying to find the right train to hop on.
And we did found, but we weren't sure if it was. Then suddenly daddy yelled that it was the right train.
But the siren sounded meaning the door was about to closed. I was in front of my family, so I was the first to get in.
All of a sudden the door was closing. My family tried to hold the door.
But nothing could be done. The train had start moving and all I could do was a single punch at the train's door and yelled "Omma."

Alone. In a train. Separated from family. In, Paris. With no handphone.

From a noisy hectic compact crowd, the only sound that could be heard in the train was only the train. The silent was killing me. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I felt like I was naked in public for the first time.

I was ok that time. I said to myself, I have to get off the next stop hoping maybe they might do the same looking for me.

But then a woman approached me. "Do you speak English?"
"Yes."
"Don't worry dear, all you have to do is just get off at the next stop and wait there. Your family might look you there. So don't worry. If anything happens, go to the police or call your parents. Okay? Don't worry."

Okay. I know that woman was just trying to help and I really appreciate it but it made me more terrified.
I mean, what if they end up going straight to the place we were heading to? So should I get off the next stop or just go straight ahead ?
Dude, I have no phone. Damn, daddy should have given me the phone! But then I couldn't call anyway, cause I have no international roaming.

DAMN ! What am I to do ?

The period pain stings me again. And the coldness of the weather went through my body like poison.
I was frigthened to make a decision.
What if some guy take this opportunity to snatch me away ?

The train stopped.
I immediately got off.
I didn't know what was on my mind, and I couldn't control my body, but as I step outside, I pray to Allah hoping this is the right choice.

And the train left. My mind went blank.
Things went through my mind.
It was like the devils were whispering, making me fear, scared.
I can feel warm tears on my eyes ready to burst any time.

And then a guy was looking at me up and down, trying to approach me. I was terrified, I looked around. There were 3 other strangers. I was not alone.
I walked the other way and sat on the bench, looking at the map like a clueless puppy looking for it's master.

I kept praying to Allah, hoping everything will be alright. I waited for the next train to come.
I stand as the train moving in and once it opens, I looked around hoping I could find faces that I know, faces that I love.
Faces that I am separated.
Non could be found.
I sat back again. Lost, confused, helpless. In any second my cheeks will be raining with tears.

"ALANG ! ALANG !"

I looked around, knowing those voices.

Alas, there they were, running towards me. I felt like the world was falling back to places. My mother hugged me and everyone was relieved.

"Macam mana alang tergerak hati nak turun kat stop ni? Ya Allah, Alhamdulillah. Nasib baik takde pape."

"Pandai pulak alang."

One to another keep talking. I was so relieved that I cried and laughed.

The funniest thing was, I was never afraid of the fact of me not finding them.
I was afraid of they not be able of seeing me again.

Paris is one fierce place. If pickpocketing is easy for them, then human traficking is easy for them to right ?

Dude ! I don't wanna be sell !

Okay, now that's a drama queen. But then again, this is a drama anyway.
MY DRAMA. MY LIFE.

so who's to say I CAN'T BE A DRAMA QUEEN :)

ps; weirdest day ever.

FASYA
xoxo

Qoute

2010-12-15T07:47:00.003+08:00

"Why him? Why are you not afraid of yourself changing from loving him to loving another?"

"Now that's a funny question."

"In 2,3 years, who knows ?"

"Because I know. Not to boost myself or anything, but because I know myself better than others, and not to mention past has resulted the same ending, that's why I fear of him changing, cause I can control my feelings, but I cannot control his. And that is why I fear of him instead of fearing myself."

"But you can't control fate."

"That is why we have Allah to trust in, to keep our faith strong in our heart, so that we can still keep going, and to always remind ourselves why we are with those who we are now. I believe that if we trust in Allah, everything can be done if we want it to be done. Don't you ?"

~FSI, 15/12/2010 8:09 am/1:07am

enjoy :)

Aziza Kamaruzaman ! :D

2010-12-15T07:01:00.003+08:00

1) LOL. mule2 jumpe...You attack i kan!!! i yg tgh blurr nie tibe u approach i, "u seems familiar. sekolah mane dulu?????" "sek. 18." then u stat bebel.."i knew it. no wonder u nmpk familiar. u ingt i x????????" "tak."
hahahhaa :p
2) sgt2 friendly. mula2 jumpe da bising. hahahah :p n hyperrr. nampak mcm always in positiv...e mood. XD
3) u always showed us ur love PUBLICLY. haha. love it.
4) bnyk! ingat i guling2 kat blik u mcm ulat gonggok tu?? haha
5) Pyramid. bcuz u ade nmpk ckit2 (ckit je ok) mcm Charice. heheh

u're awesome sweatheart. Love yah! ♥

ps; i tak jumpa picture kita berdua je ! maybe dalam lappie i ! nanti i cari !
grr hehe i love u mr sheffield ! :D

Huda Binti Kamarudin ! :D

2010-12-15T06:36:00.004+08:00

She wrote this for the status thing ! :D

1. MMS!! hahaha..
2. first time i noticed u is when u volunteer for Penghuluwati.. i was like, apsl budak nie hype gler ek?? hahaha.. then the next day, u tgor gee and then u duduk selang satu kerusi dr i ble u nmpk pic jay at my hp, u tros pndh seblh i and then i,u and gee dok rancak berbual abput korean artis especially suju ^^.. so jay kinda help us get together :)
3. you are not afraid to be yourself and to speak your mind. you do your work do matter how hard. you inspire me :).. you are not afraid of challenge and you protect and care for the people that you love and that are close to you..
4. too many... the first one is the part where you seat next to me after seein jay's photo on my hp, then during ppkp, we sang during the ending and then we have our own photoshoot at dataran keris, ber"bangla" at my room early second sem, trip to puncak alam, trip to pengkalan balak :)
5. sorry sorry... we kept singing that song during mms and also hero by mariah carey

hope u are having a blast on your trip.. miss you :')
saranghae ♥

:""""""""""""(

ok thats not enough to show you that I cried really hard when I read all those wall posts ok. I love you guys so much and miss you guys badly :')

I love Jay because it fated us two to meet :)
and betul2, byk sangat memories kita :D

and betul2, kita siap pasang video suju la, and then dgr slow2. just nak stay awake :)

i love you KAKLONG !!! :D

don't we look tho coot :)
THANKEEEYOOOU :)
<3<3<3<3

Amalina Azman ^^

2010-12-12T04:23:00.004+08:00

Like my status and I'll tell you :
1. How we met.
2. My first impression of you.
3. What I like about you.
4. Favorite memory with you.
5. A song that reminds me of you.
6. Dare you to put this on your status. :)

so i liked Ann's status, and she posted on my wall this:

Ann サッチ ‎1. Again, Huda Binti Kamarudin played her role... XD
2. Noisy, noisy, noisy girl.. (But your speech at the end of MMS changed everything... ^^)
3. You are noisy. But that just means you're fun to be with ^^
4. We seldom met/ hang out together, don't we? But I like it when I just passed you by otw to somewhere and you shouted my name~ XD
5. The song that you sung during the competition. It was a medley, I forgot what the songs names are ^^;;

hahah i love her !
haha I AM NOISY ?
and i can't believe you actually remembered my speech at MMS :)
gosh i love you :)

and the medley was "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys and some Siti Nurhaliza song that i forgot it's title. haha XD
and yes, I LOVE SHOUTING YOUR NAME.
hahah thx ann :)

that is so effing true man :D
but i have my moments aite :)

i love you ANN ! so much :) miss ya :)
thx again :)

ps; can't wait for geeja's and kaklong's ^^

Love,
FASYA
xoxo

Fairy Tail 2#

2010-11-26T10:22:00.003+08:00

Ok, Episode 21 was really long ! It went on and the ending of it was at Episode 28 !
gosh, the pressure of me waiting for the ending and the tense of the battles.
well of course they will win in the end, but there were so many battles @_@

Each episode consist of approximately 25 minutes or so -____-'
My head is spinning around *,*
but the story is awesome that I can't get enough of it ! wah ! :D

I WISH I WAS A FAIRY TAIL WIZARD :)

You see Natsu is like the guy who lights hopes in everyone's heart. No matter how bad the situation is, he will give these sparks inside of you making you believe that there's a way and you end up not giving up, no ?

:')

No matter how annoying, destructive and crazy he is, HE IS AWESOME ! :D
er right, otaku much -___-'

well I'm still waiting for episode 56.
and have I say that I LOVE FAIRY TAIL ?
if I haven't, I LOVE FAIRY TAIL!!!!!!

tak dapat beli kreko pun takpela :P

ps; I don't want these nightmares to haunt me again. Please, don't make cry again :'(

Fasya
xoxo

FairyTail

2010-11-24T00:45:00.004+08:00

my current obsession :3

well I'm not completely obsessed on this but I've been downloading all the episodes from FairyTailDataBase.
THANKYOUUUUUUU YOUTUUUUUUUUUUBE:D

I know oppa said his friend has the full season episode, but well, waiting for that is like waiting for Malaysia to snow -,-
plus I have nothing better to do at home this sem break :|

who am I going to argue anymore about anime ? sigh. everything feels wrong.

Allah, please guide me through this :(
I'm so sad that I can't even see my future anymore.

ah, let's go back to Fairy Tail please ?
it's just a waste of time crying over the past -_-
You don't even care about me anymore. hmph ! I HATE YOU !

saeunara !

ps; I don't really hate you. I just hate the way you make me feel.

Andy
xoxo

Dear Allah,

2010-11-20T23:51:00.002+08:00

Help me. Guide me. Give me strength to carry on.
Give me hope to walk through this pain. Show me which is the right path for me to take. Cause I'm lost.
With no one to believe in, not even me. Only you that I can depend on.

It is hard.

"Never look back, we said. How was I to know, I miss you so.
Loneliness up ahead, Emptiness behind, where do I go ?

And you didn't hear all my joy through my tears, all my hopes through my fears,
did chu know ?
still I miss you somehow."

I learned that, in any circumstances, NEVER EVER show how weak you are without them.

but then I would just be lying to myself.
then again, I have been lying all my life. So why stop now ?
Whats so different about it this time ?

oh, I see. Cause' it's you.
You're different.

ps; I'm hurt.

Words for Thunder

2010-11-20T01:10:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum. Hai.
My name is Fasya.
and I'm afraid of thunder and lightning.
I know this sounds lame but this is me.
I am lame like that.

*thunder*

There it goes again.

At night, where only you yourself can depend, you will feel a weeny bit lonely and weak.
So if you are afraid of thunder like I am, do give me a call. Cause I would appreciate the company :)

*lightning*

"Hey, I'm here. Turn around. Yeah, I'm right beside you. Always. Close your eyes. Can you feel it ? I'm wrapping my arms around you. You're safe with me. The thunders won't hurt you. As long as I'm here. And I will always will. So let's talk something funny to get your mind off the thunder. Or would you just like to lie here and cherish this moment silently ? Whatever you want. As long as you're happy :)"

aww, isn't that sweet ? :')

Wouldn't that just made your day ? You would totally forget all about the thunder, right ?

but I guess, not everyone can get a happy fairy tales. sigh..

but then again, there's no such thing as fairy tales in my life :')
*yes i'm crying with a smile. see how sad i am. LOL*

ps; there's nothing wrong with wanting more.
but there's something wrong if you don't feel like giving more.
ENOUGH SAID.

FASYA
xoxo

I'm Sorry Everyone, Deeply Sorry :(

2010-11-13T16:46:00.005+08:00

Everyone.
i want to say i'm sorry if i ever did wrong to all of you. (aduh mcm ucapan raya -__-)
if i ever hurt your feelings, took something and never give it back, talk backs about you, giving wrong information, made faces or jokes that hurt you, or even misjugde,accuse and semua yang seangkatannya,

I'M SORRY.

i have a lot things going on, like i said before, God really made me realise where i stand -___-'

i am a horrible friend -___-' when will i ever change ? :(
and will everyone forgive me for all the wrongs that i've done ? :(

haish, tak tenang aku nak belajar. takutnya mass media !!! jgnlah doakan keburukan terhadap ku ! :((

btw, i made a new friend, well i can call her a new friend i guess or someone that i just known.
she made me realise that things doesnt have to so complicated and that every thing can be settle calmly. and i was really shocked, cause to me she was like an angel.
well i must say she is just lucky that i'm the type of girl that, well, like mean and bad.
the type of girl who cares if she was the reason that everyone else's life is being destroyed. like RELATIONSHIPS. some may say that friends are much more important than life right ? but if friends respect friends, they would respect their relations too.
i'm just saying based on the fight that i had with Miss R.

err is that too specific ? but anyway, me and her are cool now. i mean, like she said before, Jodoh di tangan Tuhan, if it meant to happen, it will happen.
and she's right. i was just worrying too much -___-'

but again back to my new friend, she's awesome, sweet, kind and. god nothing can describe her -___-'
well anyway, i'm really sorry to her, if i ever caused her trouble and i wish for her the best in life.

ps; i'm so sad that everyone hates me -___-'

FASYALOVESOPPA
xoxo

Qoute :

2010-11-12T01:59:00.003+08:00

I'll be the best you ever have. but if you leave,

I'll be the best you never had.
Fasya, 2:02am 12112010

xoxo

Trying

2010-11-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

cmon fasya ! new attitude ! new spirit ! new image ! ok scratch that part. new habit ! new style of thinking ! and most important !

NEW GOOD OLD FASYA :)

peace out !

ps; trying to get back to who i used to be.

FASYA
xoxo

I'm Sorry

2010-11-11T16:06:00.003+08:00

pain from playing tennis can be felt on my left arm.
pain from me bleeding through my private place can be felt throughout my whole body.
stomachache from not enough consuming carbohydrates or food.
college problem. transferring problem. family problem. friend problem. and most of all, love.

nothing can define the situation i've put myself in.

Allah, i hope that this is another plan of yours in making me stronger and understand that i'm still weak. cause i can see that i'm a such horrible human being.
but something inside me telling me through this pain, i must not give up.
though 99% of my life feels like dying is the best solution to repairing the mistakes i've done. but there's this one 1% telling me, if you still love, then don't give up.
prove it, show it.

Yes i did alot of mistakes.

i just need to get up. i have to wake up. stop dreaming.
this is the reality of life.
it will f*, but don't f* it by your own mistakes. let it f* u. and you have to f* it back. but never let it f* all the way without any effort to fight back.

oh god, the monthly pain is pounding. Allah, please spare me and guide me through this.

if this test was to make me realise that i am slightly forgetting who i am, then i'm sorry. i might lose my trail but i'm always on the right track.

I'm sorry Azlan Sulaiman. i'm sorry for all the wrongs that i've done. i'm imperfections has caused you alot of hurt. I admit that i wasn't loyal. but i've always love you. and always will. no matter how much we have gone through, i still want you and need you.
i will wait for you until you forgive me and accept me as i am. i will change myself, my attitude and my imperfections. i'm sorry.
but if fate has set that you find someone else, then i must have been cursed to be all alone. hem.

again, i will always love you. byane oppa.

ps; hurt me, curse me, swear to me if that will make you stay with me and love me.

pss; lets study mass media.

farahsyafiqah binti ibrahim
xoxo

Dot

2010-11-05T04:44:00.002+08:00

i don't even know why i'm here right now. i'm such a pathetic loser.
i think i've been in these mess a thousand of times. and yet i haven't wake up.

you know, starting over sounds nice right about now.
but how many start over must i go through ?
how many laps must i run over again ?
how many new hello must i say ?

how long will these goes on ?
everything happens for a reason. and yet we are still searching for the one reason, aren't we ?

they say we shouldn't runaway from the problem. cause it will make yourself look weak and it won't solve the problem.

but honestly, i prefer calling this as AVOIDING.
avoiding from this problem.

unfortunately, the problem is me.
so how am i going to do that ? how to run from your own oneself ?

hey, like i said, i'm so pathetic.

sheesh how emo can i get ? this is getting crapy. good morning world. let me rest in piece, please and thank you.

19th Birthday Celebration at Empire, Subang

2010-11-02T03:07:00.015+08:00

before i leave shah alam for good again, i want to write something here first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARAH SYAFIQAH BINTI IBRAHIM.
at last, you're 19yearsold. it feels like yesterday i was just celebrating my 5yearsold birthday.
and it feel like yesterday i was getting my first heart break. my first bestfriend, my first enemy, my first boyfriend, my first scar, my first bicycle, my first handphone, my first of EVERYTHING.
whoa, thats a mouth full.

by next year, i won't be in the teen life no more.
its a sad thing cause i know that alot of my life experience are based on my teenage memories. don't you feel the same way ? but nothing can be change by changing the face. but everything can be change by facing the changed.

heh, i just want to write out my birthday speech, dont want to babble too much.

Daddy, Omma, Along, Angah, Izzat.
no matter how pain in the butt you guys are, and seriously, YOU ARE UNBEARABLE SOMETIMES, but still, i love you oh so dearly.
i could cry just by hearing you saying i love you to me. i don't even know how to show my gratefulness. everything you have done, it's irreplaceable, unforgettable and priceless.
if i'm still a horrible daughter, forgive me. i am still weak here and there. but i just want you to know, i'm trying hard to make you guys proud. i am.
and thank you that wonderful dinner. Chillis are something new i had to adapted with, but to be honest, the food is great, but i still love TGIF better :)
and thats just an opinion, no matter what you stuffed my tummy with, i still love it anyway, as long its not too spicy -___-'

kak aneez also tag along to celebrate. of course you love free food :P haha just kidding.

angah: "angah nak order ni mama :D"

haha XD sengal la abg aku ni.

adik ku yang G. haha :D
the only boy who will call me crazy but laugh and love me anyway :)

my main course for tonight's dinner ! drum roll please ! (sounds of drum roll)

oh god, i'm drooling all over again.
mutton mushroom, chicken and steak cooked to perfection, Jack cheese all over it with salsa sauce. gosh, em em em ! :9

so yeah, so that's how my celebration went. only a simple dinner. with no cake :(
haha, but i'm thankful no matter what :)
thank you Allah for still letting me breathe another day to celebrate my birthday :)

ps; thank to all who have wished :) i love you oh so much :)
Empire is nice. can't wait for all the stores to open :)
Subang will be my next place to hangout other than Shah Alam from now on :P

FASYA
xoxo

Ahpa

2010-11-01T05:32:00.002+08:00

it's annoying. to see you saying sorry million times but you still don't know what's inside of me. what i really feel.

"we're two human beings who know each other inside out."

stupid. ahp peuh da.. neh ma eum ee ah pha...

they say time heals everything. well if i ever see them again, i'll shoot them dead. cause they are wrong.

FASYA
xoxo

Grateful but Sad

2010-10-30T04:51:00.003+08:00

i thought going home would be nice. i thought that being home would ease me out from the stress i'm in. well it did. it helped me alot.
and it made me more depressed. why ? cause i've overlook alot of things.
i am totally regretting all the things that i took for granted. i wish that i could go back in the past to fix all the faults that i've done.

i was a terrible friend, a terrible leader, a horrible daughter and most of all, an unworthy lover. wait, if you're gonna criticize on saying how emo i am, you can go stalk somebody's else blog. you don't belong here.
cause this is my blog, and i deserve to write what i feel. and this is what i am feeling now.

i know that this feelings will be gone by tomorrow but i just want to remember this moment and remind myself how it felt like to waste every love that everyone has given me.

these tears i'm shedding, no one knows. but i'm gonna remember each every drops of it. Allah really showed me everything.

I'M SORRY. I really am. I can't even look at you guys anymore. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sorry...

Omma, daddy.
i love you so much. thank you for giving me alot of love. i'm sorry for disappointing you alot. byane. if i could, i want to give you the world. if i could fly to the sky, i'll give you the moon.
Byane...

My class.
each and everyone of you, are all in my heart. the memories of Part 1 are still fresh in my mind.

Lendu friends.
i still remember getting these messages from unknown numbers just to ask me where is the location of their class. and they are not even from my class. haha
Part 1 seem so far now...

Kaklong Huda, Tintin, Syusyu, Amy, Kidot, Farah, Sue, Geeja, Giey, Ann, god i wish i could name all of you, each and everyone of you.
I LOVE YOU OH SO MUCH. you guys never ever judge me from the beginning you said hi to me up until now. god, do know how grateful i am to have you guys ?
ok, this post is getting more gay than i thought. haha :)

you see ? even by thinking of you guys right now, you just change my mood from so emo and sad to so happy and.. huh... just happy. so happy.. :)

i know that asking us to go back to when we Part one is impossible, but..
i just wish that we could be happy like when we first entered UiTM. huh..

Oppa,
byane. i'm a trouble, aren't i ? i'm a horrible wife. hehe
you showed me that love isn't all about caring about other's happiness only. you have to fight to show that you really love them.
you see right through me. no matter how bad i am. and.. huh.. i'm thankful for that..
byane.. i have a strong feeling that i'm going to disappoint you again. byane.. i made alot of mistakes...
i screwed up my life. am i too late to fix it ? ottoke..
oppa, bogoshipuyo.. byane :(

for once, nothing is wrong in my whole entire life, except myself.
i always stret and frut how horrible people are towards me, how horrible people around me made me feel.
but now, the joke is on me.

god i need to sleep.

i love you guys, and i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i love you.

ps; don't forget me and all my kindness because of all my badness.
cause i haven't forgotten yours.
:(

FASYA
xoxo

PS;

2010-10-28T05:46:00.003+08:00

did i mention that i'm currently home ? yeah i'm home. SHAH ALAM :)
just for the week, while waiting for my next paper.

i actually feel like shedding tears when i come to realised how much i miss this place called home. along actually showed how he really missed me.
he started babbling about how pretty i am and how cute his sister is. and i'm not saying that it's a bad thing either :D if you know what i mean ;) haha

but when he started bringing up how i deserve a much better guy than YOU-KNOW-WHO (do i really have to mention? hem.. *thinking* nah its unnecessary) so anyway, back to my point,
when he started mentioning how i deserve a much better man to appreciate how beautiful i am, he just slightly throwed me from the sky high -__-'
i mean, why can't he just stop at pretty and cute :(

sigh -___-'
ALONG ALONG.

oh yeah, like i said before, i'm still new with these blogskin. so i'm still editing it.
please bare with me ok ? :)
and yes, i miss blogging very much :)

pss; sometimes, i just can't go on. *tears*

FASYA
xoxo

sorry

2010-10-28T03:31:00.002+08:00

sorry people, trying to edit my blog skin.
i kinda still blur on how to fix it. on my way to fix this.
sorry again -____-'

fasya xoxo

Taken For Granted

2010-09-16T06:02:00.003+08:00

salam :)

ok ok. i know i haven't been there much.
but i've been quite busy. and everytime i got free time, i used that moment to snooze off.
totally lazy. but alot has happened.
too many things to take in, ya know ?

but that doesn't mean i don't miss blogging. well, not really. OPS >,<
well i miss it abit. but not as much as i did before.
oh well.

my blog has become a place for depressing moments only -__-'
err ....

oh its raya.
Selamat Hari Raya.
not a very happy raya for me.
but i hope it turn out ok for you guys.

i mean of course, it is nice to meet all my families, and being together again.
but i just wish the fight between my families and my relationship didn't happened.
seriously, i'm really down about that.

see, depressing moments again.

nonstop of crying.
haih, maybe this year, i just can't get any rainbow in my life.
everything is just in mess in every single aspect.

oh and i miss goofing off with ira. recording songs and laughing about it.
yeah, maybe i should start doing that again...
time time time.

oh well, i just can't sleep no more.
especially with all these problems going on.
and somehow i wish you of all people in this world could understand me better.
but i just can never get that.
i just don't how much more i can take.

my heart is getting heavier each day.
and you ain't even there to help me cope.
i'm holding on the hands of someone who doesn't want to be held.
whats wrong with this picture ?

its me.
not you. but me.
it has always been me.
oh well.

ps; has this 7 months become meaningless to you ?
have you look back and feeling empty about it ?
whats in you heart ?
i don't even know.

FASYA
XOXO

Pulanglah - Aishah

2010-09-09T13:19:00.003+08:00

my all time favourite song for raya.
it's really a sad song.
but i love it anyway...

to everyone else.
selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.
i'm sorry fr hurting you, causing alot of trouble.
i wish i could fix things..
i miss everyone so much.
i wish i could raya with everyone tomorrow..

k take care.
lets open a new book, shall we ?
life must go on eventhough its hard to accept.
i've been through this before.
so i should get used to falling out of love that doesnt want me anymore.

again, i just have to go through again.
i should have known i'm not good enough for love.
may Allah spare me for all the sins i've done.
may Allah guide me for this challenge He put me in.

i need you Allah, i've always needed you.
thank you for making me see the truth now.
No love is as true to Allah.

may Allah forgive me for crying right now..
may Allah forgive me for crying even more in the future..
selamat hari raya aidilfitri.
maaf zahir dan batin..

Pulanglah
Artist: Aishah
Sayang
Di hari yang mulia ini
Ku pohon keampunan
Hanya satu yang ku pinta
Pulanglah

Termenung ku sendiri
Memendam rindu tidak menentu
Kasih suci murni yang kita bina
Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya
Hati sayu mengenang dirimu
Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku
Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan
Aidilfitri satu titik akhir
Sekian lama bercinta
Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon
Sekiranya aku yang berdosa
Pulanglah ku merindui mu sayang
Ku menanti dengan hati rela ( jiwa raga )

Pulanglah kepangkuan ku oh... sayang
Ku menunggu mu di hari raya

Tears

2010-09-09T00:11:00.002+08:00

while others are having fun, silently someone is crying.
while others are having a great time, silently someone is gasping for air.

for once, i feel so lonely and all alone in my entire life.
i can't even bring myself to call up my loved ones.
i need a shoulder to cry on. especially now.
but i just can't do this anymore.

everyone is already tired of me crying over and over again.
i'm so hopeless and useless..
i can't do this anymore..
why am i becoming so weak..

why am i being my old self again...

why is this happening all over again..
will the torturing ever stop ?!
all these tears and suffering ?

nobody even gives a damn about it!

then why am i still here ?
why am i still holding on to this pain !

can i just sleep and not wake up in the morning ?
can i ?
pretty please.
i just can't do this anymore..

i don't really mean anything in this world.
so why am i still here ?

haha..
stupid question..
stupid me..

i'm being all crazy again...
haha...

Loser

2010-09-01T06:44:00.002+08:00

i'm falling to pieces. everyone can see it.
i'm a big show. i'm your freak. i'm your entertainment for greatest drama.
as my world is crashing down. everything just flashback of everything i've done.
i realised something.

i didn't do well enough.
i didn't push hard.
i screw it up on my own.

i got myself to blame.

how to get up after a big huge fall out.
i'm still wondering..

i'm tired..
can i just give up.. and be a total loser..
cause i'm fed up of being half loser and winner. i lose yet i keep on trying.

its so stupid..
lets just cry.. cry cry cry..

and no, i'm not going to class today. screw bel midterm. screw anything else in this world. nothing means anything anymore..

goodbye.

ps; yes i'm depressed. live with it.

...

Stress Out

2010-07-29T14:06:00.002+08:00

i'm busy. period.
no, not because of studies. because of activities.
the few first 2 weeks at lendu was exhausting because it was boring. all of sudden now, frm one thing to another. gosh, everything come all at once. why !
damn it.

nt only that, during puasa, we're not gnna get the chance to go back home. cause we have classes on saturday. the reason was to give the students go back early for raya.

argh, raya..
i rather celerate raya late, rather having class on saturday. damn it.
why my life sucks to the very bottom.

so nt in the mood now. i only have few minutes left to get ready to class.
and i have even take a shwer.
so not in the mood to go to class...

go away stomachache ! go away pain ! :(

ps; fr the first time i smiled dreaming of u in my sleep.
and for the first time, i actually want you to stay that way.
and for the first time, i wish that this is the last time i ever dream of u again.
seriously, scary.. -____-'
i actually prefer seeing u in person.
i think.. LOL

FASYA
xoxo

Won't Even Start - David Choi

2010-07-19T01:38:00.003+08:00

honestly, you're giving me a subliminal message, is that it ?
cause i kind of get the 'POINT'.
get it ?

fine, it's the end. i get it.
finito.
sheesh, now i can actually yell if the past actually comes and haunts me back. cause now, i have a solid reason to NOT LET MEMORIES BREAK ME DOWN OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
heh

and all that crap, i'm not buying it anymore.
why, i can hardly believe that you can actually say you care about me with a straight face in front of me.

i actually think that if i ever look straight in your eyes i might cried my eyes out unwillingly.
so i'm afraid i have to avoid from ever catching the glimpse of you.

see how much this hurts ?
never mind, this will grow on me. vulnerable.
honestly, i can't say that i'm happy if you're happy anymore.
cause that is just so fake, dear.

so, all i can say is, take care.
thats all. nothing more.
so goodbye, let this be the last post i'll ever write for you.
but if i ever do this shit again, heh
enough said.

What happened
After last summer
When we broke up
In September

I haven't seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
It's always there no matter where I've been

So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
That's the best
I can do for you

Cuz you'll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah it's hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll cut me like a knife

So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

ps; just gonna stand there and watch me BURN.
just gonna stand there and let me CRY.

FASYA
xoxo

Class Rep & Assistant Mama Level

2010-07-06T01:37:00.003+08:00

the thing is,
i should be grateful.
i should be happy, i should be content with where i am standing now.
but i just don't get it.

why do this tears keep falling ?
why do this heart stop beating when hearing a song that reminds of a moment, a place and a person ?

and then every time you go through a hard phase, you end up wishing that what if you didn't made that choice and you wish you could turn back time before everything happen and relive to do it differently ?

but doesn't that mean you regret ?

but why am i regretting for ?
did i made that choice ?
did i choose to be in this situation ?

i keep asking myself that.
or i was wrong to let it escape from my hand.
should i have fight for what i want ?
but does it work if they were the one to release us first ?

god, i've been holding on to this, and yet i'm still holding the glimpse of their memory with me eventhough..

they're gone..

gosh, i'm still young.
Allah, give me strength to keep going on.
give me faith that things will get better in time.
give me hope that they are better off without me.
or I'M BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM.
ok, i lied on the last part. don't do that. i beg of you. i take that words back and swallow each one of it.

cause i miss them dearly.
so bad that i can't breathe when i think about them.

sigh, i need to get busy.
i need to stop getting emo again.

oh did you know ?
i'm the assistant mama level.
woot woot, go fasya ^.^

thx for trusting me :3

oh and i'm the class rep too !
gosh, they still love me :')

i promise to do my best !
and i will not crash like last sem >,<

ok, lets get busy and start being professional :)

ps;I LOVE YOU.

FASYA
xoxo

Nokia Bluetooth Headset Stereo BH-505 (friendly service)

2010-06-30T20:40:00.003+08:00

my new baby :3
bought it with my own sweats :P (hypothetically :P)

no more wire ! no more earphones getting stuck between things ! no more wire being pulled !
no more phone crashing through the ground !
and NO MORE BROKEN EARPHONE !

because comes EVOLUTION !

headset :)

i went to sunway, "takde jual la dik"
went to One Utama, "kene order la tapi lambat"
went to KLCC, "brand nokia ?"

i almost gave up, well no, i didn't, i just said it to dramatize :P
i check nokia's website for malaysia's version. and i check the local stores that are qualified by nokia near shah alam.
there were 4 !

one was at Plaza Alam Sentral, one was at SACC, one was at Ole-Ole, and one was at some sek 13 i think.
but unfortunately the sek 13 had no contact number.
so it leaves only three.

so i called in order of that list.
first, Ole-ole.

the girl who works there were SO RUDE. pfft she didnt even said hello. and she hangup even before i could say thank you. pfft
and SHE SAID I HAD TO GO TO KLANG TO LOOK FOR THIS. HAH ! i got it at shah alam. boo you X(

called SACC, EVEN RUDER ! chinese !
OMG ! i'm not being prejudice ! but seriously, isn't anybody wants to work this day ? cause the service sucks. seriously ! :(
but still no sign of headset :(

i pray so bad that this would be the one.
PLAZA ALAM SENTRAL :)

me: oh hello ? is this ashita communication ?
girl: oh yes. siapa ini ? (chinese)
me: i'm *, i want to know if you are selling this model.
girl: oh ok let me check for you okay ? can you leave your contact number. because i need to call the main branch.
me: oh ok :)

i had high hopes. i waited for 3 days. but still no sign of her calling me back :(
so i called the place again.
the same girl ! i know, because her voice was identical.

she was like nervous as if she forgots all about my headset request, so she promised to call me back after she got the confirmation.
i waited patiently, i said ok.

while i was onlining, suddenly !

*PLAZA ALAM SENTRAL NOKIA calling*

wee :D! eventhough i was actually waiting for acai's call, but i was happy anyway, cause it was about my headset !

girl: fasya is it ? yeah, we have that model, awak mahu order ka ? boleh dapat esok lo klu mao.

ALHAMDULILLAH :)

i actually called her back again just to make sure it was the right model.
and we actually had laughs that time. LOL

me: ni model tu kan, bukan model yg lain kan, model yg back, xde wire, and warna putih kan ?
girl: oh miss mao warna lain ka ?
me: err model ni ada warna lain ke ?
girl: oh. ah. xda. haha
me: haha okay XD

see, now thats friendly service man :)

i can jog with confident now :P
oh yeah, its splash resistant did you know ? that means i can jog in the rain X)

but i have to cover my handphone though -___-'
LOL

ok then, off to bed. had a wonderful day today :)
will get right back to it soon :)

ps; abg :)
:'>

BUNNY
xoxo

Stuck in Between Your Expectations

2010-06-27T12:07:00.003+08:00

dalam proses mengemas bilik.
bwh katil, sudah gali = checked.
setiap penjuru katil lap habuk2 yg dah berkumpul = checked.
almari = TOTALLY CHECKED *_______*

fuh.. sedang berehat seketika dan menarik nafas yang panjang kerana hampir berjaya me..

*ding dong*

em ? oh ada org kat bwh, jap kene bukak pintu.
*turun bwh dgn malas. naik atas dgn air mcd coca cola semlm*

lol, dgn jelas nya saya menerangkan :)
ah.. so nice.. after a hard work, drinking a water makes it fresh :)

*slurp slurp*

nah, saje nak buat kamu semua tergiur :)
eh jap, i tak minum coca cola -___-'

anyway, back to what i was going to write,
almost succeeding in cleaning up my room. no more dusty bed or dusty floor.
now i'm just taking a minute to rest and continue cleaning up my books and table.

the fun part about cleaning up is that you'll never know what you'll find :)
i mean not the gross stuff.
i mean like when you thought you misplaced it but it's actually there. yeah :

and and when you almost forgotten the existence of that something but then you found it stuck between some things and you suddenly went smiling and tears prickled on you cheeks cause it reminds you one of those sweet memories that you wish you could relive.
lol now thats long.

but still, yeah. you know what i mean right ? :)

oh god, i'm sore.
this shows that i haven't done this in awhile -___-'

oh and the reason i'm slurping this coca cola is because the gas is already gone, so its not carbonated anymore :)
i hate carbonated drinks -___-'
except for ice cream soda ! :D

i miss drinking it :(
i miss alot of things -____-'

actually ! *just remembered what was the reason i wanted to wrote this post*

i was going to write down what happen just now.
well not like detailed.
i just want to strut out few things.

look,
this is my life.
i can be with anyone i want to be.
i know you raised me up to be a good girl, to live up to your high expectations.

the problem is, it's my turn to make you proud, so let me do it my way please ?
i'm not trying to be disrespectful or anything.
it's just that i respect you too much that i appreciate what you have done for me.
so in return i just want you to sit back and see what i can do.
and that you have raised me well enough to know what is right and what is wrong.

i make mistakes. thats normal, but that doesn't mean i don't know that it was wrong.

and seriously, I'M STILL YOUNG !
for goodness sake, i'm not even at the point where i am qualify to say i can get marry right now.
so please, leave out those relationship out!

you can conquer my studies life, my friendship life, my social life, my work life, BUT! not my love life.

it's hard enough to go around when you make your own decision for my own future life.
you don't need to add more pain on how to live my life with whom.

but i'll wait for that one day, when you guys will truly understand and accept me for who i am :)

don't worry, i'll go along with this, even though it hurts.
i mean, who doesn't feel alil bit pissed off when you guys choose the person who left me out instead of the person who is standing next to me.

but still, like i said, i'm still young.
things could change.

i just hope that, that change is for the better, no ? :)

ps; i was kinda hoping that maybe, well wishing, wondering, that.. yeah, you know..
well.. we could.. you know..
err.. well..
oh forget it -___-'
i'm so helpless *__*

FASYA
xoxo

Missing A Smile

2010-06-27T09:35:00.004+08:00

GOOOOOOD MORNING !
i woke up early today with hopes and dreams that my parents will allow me to go out and unground me haha XD

oh well, i have few days left for me to 'hangout' in Shah Alam.
sigh, eventhough i'm excited to go to Lendu, i feel abit sad for not getting the chance to meet up with old friends again.

i mean, i missed alot of people, ira :) whom i haven't yet to met. god i promise to see her. sigh...

and ex-schoolmates, i really wish i could go and see my exform6 friends :(

and and SMKS9 :(

sigh..

i missed alot of people. and every time i think how far apart we are now, it just brings me to tears.
and i feel even more worse to realise that i didn't do anything to fix it, or couldn't.
sigh..

oh, life must move on, right ?

god, i miss my bestfriends and all.
*holding back tears*

ok, start off the day with a smile people ! :D
and the whole world will smiles back at you :)

oh oh and i bet you're wondering why i am so happy today ?
well, there's no specific reason actually, its just that i want to make the best of my life :)

and no, nothing happen, nothing particular.

i just felt like i should be grateful once in awhile.
i mean just sit back, watch the world... and enjoy it :)

i mean yeah i had my bad times and all, but why would i want to sacrifice all of my happy moments just because of it, right ? :)

so yeah, just live your life peeps ! ;)

well then, off to do summer cleaning up :)
toodleloo :)

ps; you will always be the one.
"if nothing is everything, would you be my nothing ?"
*holding back tears*
:)

FASYA
xoxo

Additional Advice from Aini

2010-06-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

i almost forgot all about this !
u have to wear a covered shoes !

here here, aini is like an ex student at UiTM puncak perdana, so she knows well than i do.

thx aini btw for commenting, appreciate it SO MUCH :)

AINI:

is ur friend taking information system or teka?

an advice to ur friend - no need to do laundry, coz there wont be time unless, u want to sleep at 2am. besides, ur house is near..VERY near.

bring 'kasut bertutup'. or not, they're gonna make u wear baju kurung wid sport shoes!. ..dont worry, there wont be much walking..AT ALL! u wont even get tired of walking, u'll b tired of the activities instead...they'll be loads of laughter im sure.

If ur at puncak perdana, tudung aint compulsory.

orientation at puncak is really fun. i luved mine! it woz extremely FUN! Didne hav tears at all!. depends on who 'Pembantu Mahasiswa' u get.

No worries, hope u engjoy ur time at Puncak Perdana. Its well better than Shah Alam, its easier to study there n u wont be getting a dorm, u'll get an apartment!.gosh, im starting to miss it now. lol.

anyaway, hope i wasnt too late giving these advices.

HAVE FUN!

p/s there s also a small food court outside the campus. we calld it 'kandang'..just in case u want to eat out at nite, u can go there, but not during orientation, of course.

there you go, hope that helps too :)

good luck again.

ps; see how alot of people is helping u out here ? :)
haha love u zaf ;)

FASYA
xoxo

ADVICE FOR NEWBIES THAT WILL GO THROUGH ORIENTATION (here you go zafirah :3)

2010-06-25T03:46:00.005+08:00

ok, i promised zafirah to post this advice.
i didn't realise that today was friday.
so that means she'll be going to her orientation tomorrow.
LIKE DAMN !
i'm so sorry honey, i didnt't realise.

plus when i had my orientation, i think it started on sunday. if i was not mistaken.
ok, i'm rushing typing this.
fuh, chill.
i can finish this in 30 minutes.

if i can do the time table for DMC2B not more than 30 minutes, i can definitely do this :)

ok,

HERES TO ALL STUDENTS, ehem,
i mean STUDENT-WILL-BE.
they will remind you that during orientation, they would say you're still not a student on your campus yet, UNTIL YOU REGISTER COMPLETELY.
normal ;)

back to topic,
THESE ARE SOME OF ADVICE THAT I THINK SHOULD FOLLOW, since i've gone through an orientation just not so long ago. only few months back, and i can still remembered the pain, the joy, they tears, and the friendship :)

i can still feel my sore head and tiredness crawling back to my mind -__-'

ok ok, off to the main topic!

ADVICE FOR NEWBIES THAT WILL GO THROUGH ORIENTATION (now thats a long title -__-')

ps; honestly, i'm not an expert, and i dont have a computer brain, so i might forget things.
hey i'm just a human -__-'

1. pack ONLY THE THINGS YOU NEED.
like, toiletries, brush, shampoo, colgate, pads for the time of the month (you might know when you need those, SERIOUSLY, i know -__-')
and slippers.
oh oh and also bring along a sport shoes or any type of comfortable shoes, cause you'll be walking.
ALOT OF WALKING.
seriously.

the reason i said pack only the things you need is because you will rarely be in your room during orientations.
so things might get lost, you know ?
yeah, that happened alot. well to me and others. pfft.

2. bring alot of baju kurungs.
yeah, you'll be wearing baju kurung during the week of orientation the whole time.
oh and try bringing a black kain cause they'll prolly ask you to wear UiTM's theme baju kurung.
for the guys, i think you guys have to wear black slacks right ?
yeah, anyway, baju kurung is a must.
my advice, those daily clothes that you'll be wearing at uitm, bring it after you finish orientation.
just bring a few that could rest for a few days.
oh and bring a white long sleeve shirt, serious, you'll need it.
yeah, for sports actually :)

seriously bring alot of baju kurung, you don't know what will happen.
unless you don't mind to wear the same baju kurung that smells or full with your sweats and all.
my batch would know what i mean -__-'

3. during at Lendu, my advice is to bring umbrella and a hand-fan.
cause we had to walked in a HOT HOT HOT day.
so yeah -___-'
but for those who are at other campuses, well i don't know, but still advice to bring umbrella just for precaution ;)

4. err.. what else ?
spoons ? forks ? a bowl ? a plate ? a cup ? a bottle ?
well thats important to bring of course.
you'll be staying there as your second home.
you might get hungry.
oh bring lots of cookies, bread and milo.
you need it, seriously.
you will get hungry.
i did :D
ps; sure, you can bring electric kettle ;)

5. of course towels, penyapu (er i don't remember the english name -__-'), penyodok, oh mop !
haha yeah you need that ! it get dusty, no ?
and wiping cloths to wipe dust or anything dirty.
just like home :)
and a bucket. yeah, you need it, at least one. two is awesome :)

6. soap to wash after using bowl, spoons, forks, cup and all.
yeah, you would prolly eat maggi right ?
so better prepare soap to wash those oily stuff -___-'

7. oh i just remembered ! a dustbin ! haha a must man :D
and of course dustbin plastic ;)
oh yeah, you should always buy a basket for dirty clothes, it'll be easy :)

oh wait, i just realise, you live at bukit jelutong zafirah, so you don't really need that. cause your house is like near to your campus. PFFT :P

8. prepare pens, pensils and an empty book to wrote down notes ;)
you need it.
i know :)
cause i was always the first person people came to see for help.
am i right guys ? :D
haha omg, i love last sem :)

9. a small iron board will do, if you want of course.
sure, bring an iron as well.
oh did i mention you have to wear tudung during orientation ?
yeah, YOU MUST.

10. bags for classes.
well not that REALLY important, but girls need bags anyway -___-'

11. hangers ! and clippers for cloth. i mean sepit baju. lol
yeah, you need it.
tissues ! yeah, you need that boxes of tissues.
and handplast, those plaster for cuts and bruises, you need it for emergency.
and minyak cap kapak (myfavourite:P), panadol. precautions :)

12. don't bring your laptop yet ! you won't need it, and you won't have time for it, TRUST ME.
you will be sleeping at 2 am at least or more and wake up at 4 or 5.
and then the rest of the day you will be out of your room, either hearing a boring useful lecture or doing an activity.
so don't bring laptop.

13. buy yourself the ambi pur room spray. just to make the room smells nice. haha :D
and febreeze for furniture.

14. don't need alot of pocket money, but do topup if you want. cause i know you'll get bored and your hands will be glued to handphone :)
oh don't fall asleep during lecture. they will hunt you -____-'

15. don't forget your charger for your phone battery :D

16. bring alot of passport size pictures. you'll need it :)

17. i don't know whether you would need it, since you're at uitm Puncak Perdana.
because i think i've been there before.
its not like my campus, you know.
but still, bring your own pillows and stuffs that are related.

well then, i don't know whether i left out anything. but i hope i didn't.
so yeah, thats it i guess.
if i ever think there are more to add, then i will do another post.
so yeah.

ps; for those who thinks that there are more things to be advice then, share :)
oh and some of the things above are well, it depends on where you are located. some campus are different, no ?

my campus ain't that big, but it ain't as small as UiTM Puncak Perdana.
i totally have been there before :)

pss; good luck to all newbies ! and to zafirah :D

FASYA
xoxo

Back to Blogging 0_0

2010-06-23T04:05:00.002+08:00

omg omg omg !
i stayed at home for almost 2 whole months, didn't get a job, didn't go out since i was grounded.
onlined facebook 24 hours a day and i have yet to TOUCH A SINGLE THING ON MY BLOG 0_0

bloggie, i mean oekaki [omg i even called it wrongly, shame on you fasya :(]
forgive me for putting you off :(
i have forgot what is like to stay up all night posting anything, everything on you.

curse my laziness and.. err
and laziness :(
forgive me.

and not only that, i'm going back to my busy life at campus next week on friday :(
that means, i only have few days left to bond again with my blog :'(

oh poor oekaki :(
you've been there for me through thick and thin.
i shouldn't have forgotten about you.
if you were a friend, you wouldn't even be talking to me by now.

i even promise to redeem myself when the holidays started, but i didn't even redeem all those mising post :(

*i know, why the hell am i being over dramatic tonight ? oh it's 4 am. no wonder -__-'*

oh god, i need to sleep.
i need to balance back my sleeping schedule.

may ACAI spare me :P
omg i'm so dead if he finds out that i'm still awake at this time -___-'

ok ok, i'm off.
but dear oekaki,
i promise i'll wake up in the morning and strut and fret through your post page :)

ok, err i can't promise, cause i already promised and i broke it -___-'
ok, I WIL TRY MY BEST !

alarm, DON'T dissapoint me.
i wish acai could wake me up, his voice usually stabilize my mind from the drowsy of sleeping disorder -___-'

oh oh, stop talking fasya, go to sleep.
but i can't sleep cause i'm not sleepy :(

errghhh !!

sleep sleep sleep !

toodle loo ! <3

ps; hyakuji. damn its hard when everything is kept inside.

FASYA
xoxo

THE GREATEST SURPRISE IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE :)

2010-06-09T12:53:00.006+08:00

of course, everybody knows this.
i've been posting all those emoish post about how i'm miserable knowing how acai was in an accident.

well guess what ?

IT WAS A FALSE ALARM.

*creek creek(sounds of cricket)*

._______________________.

i swear to god if it wasn't for CASEY, i wouldn't even believe acai was in an accident.
i mean, wtf ?
surgery ?? platinum ?? brain damage ??? broken legs and arm ???

dush dush !

sigh..
only God knows how i feel right now :)

relieved, happy, shocked, surprise, mad, angry, giggling, and SOOO IN LOVE WITH ACAI :)

i love you ok puppy !
like hell i do.
and u can actually see it from these two days.
:3

crap ! i got punked ! XD

here's the analogy of how it started ok.
since it was a fake accident, i'm ready to tell the truth.
haha XD i hate telling sad stories :)

on monday night, about midnight, i was having a serious arguments with ACAI (the most greatest actor in the world to add more precisions. pfft),
and all of sudden he said he was driving and i said ok fine, just text me when you've arrived at your home.

but just when i was about to finish my sentence,

acai: oh shit.

TUP. the line went dead.

i didn't care much, cause i was mad at him.
so i called him again.
the phone was dead.
then i was just saying to myself that he was being all immature again.
i called him again.
i couldn't even bother anymore.
so i texted him few messages.
and let him be.

about few minutes later, i tried calling him again, but still OFF.

and then i was bored facebook-ing and playing games, i went and view acai's page.
well, i already post this on my last post.

so anyway here goes the analogy after knowing acai had an accident.
i'll cut it short :P

~~~ call ieta, acai's sis for confirmation. she said yes, she said it wasn't serious that i shouldn't be worry. but HOW CAN I NOT BE WORRY IF I DO NOT KNOW A THING THAT IS HAPPENING TO ACAI ? am i right or what ? right ? lol
but then she said she'll update with any news. I DEMAND GOOD NEWS. i did, well in my heart. lol
god, when i heard that he was in a coma, i was running around my house like having a knife stuck at my heart. pfft

~~~ talked to casey, she said she will visit him at the hospital. at that time i was unsure, if acai really is in accident.
maybe its because i wanted it sooooo BAD to be a joke instead of a real accident.
so i keep denying and denying. God knows how much i had to put up with it.

~~~called casey the other day to asked if she went to visit acai.
i was pacing back and forth, every minute i count. after one hour of texting her i keep picking up my phone wondering if i should call her and ask if she's at the hospital or not, cause i REALLLY WANT TO HEAR ACAI's voice. like damn hell.

~~~i let my facebook and my laptop on for two days straight cause i want good news, i want new news about acai. and then casey post at my wall.

this made me believe that acai IS in an accident

i was speechless. i straight away called her. and she told me he was still unconscious when she went to visit him.
i'd cursed myself, i did. because i didn't get the chance to fly to sabah just to see if he's ok.
if i could, i would.

i cried. i cried and cried and cried.
i prayed, i kept singing his favorite song to keep me company. i wear his favourite shirt and his perfume to feel his presence around me :)

~~~ ieta text me through his phone saying that i should call him cause he's already conscious from coma.
yeah, i was so grateful he was awake i didn't even think how weird it was.
because i don't want him to be in a coma. i cried when i heard his voice.
i felt thankful, relieved. i missed him so badly.
he told me he has to do a surgery tomorrow.
and then he told me he was sorry that he couldn't be at shah alam on the 10th of june.
i cried.. i cried cried and cried.

~~~ i waited for good news, i waited and waited, bt there was nothing.
i ended up even more stress up. everyone has been texting me, commenting me, giving me support.
i felt grateful that i have bunch of great, awesomest friends.
and i wanted acai to know that so badly.
and then, when i heard acai had to undergo a surgery, i was sad that i couldnt be there.

~~~ at 3 am, he texted me asking what was i doing? i wanted to hear his voice so badly. i missed him. we called for more than an hour. i felt mad and strange.
he said he posted me something. his brother will send it to my house.
and he said its something to say sorry for not being here as he promised.
i told him i don't need anything, i just wanted to see him.

me: instead of posting me, why don't u post urself here ? i would much prefer you standing right in front of me.

i silently wish it was real. i really wish that he would come instead.

~~~ at 10.14am, he texted.

acai: i da tak sggp tipu u. akceli, dr 20 surgery so far, cuma 4 owg je yg selamat. jgn kowl i. i tak sggp dgr suara u 4 da laz time.

i cursed him and replied.

acai: i am sori. pray 4 me syg. if u believe, i will b there 4 u, in any form. believe!

i cursed him even more. cause it was cliche and fishy.

suddenly he texted saying his brother is right in front of my house.
i wished SO HARD THAT MY HANDS WAS SHAKING FROM IT that i want acai to be there instead of his brother.

......

yeah, he was there :)

i ran to his arms :)
it was totally like in a movie :)
honestly i never had been surprised by anyone before :)

oh yeah, of course i smacked him for making me worried like hell and crying like a maniac.
i smacked, i bite, i pinch, i punch and i hugged :)

it was like a dream. looking at him, touching and knowing that he's there.
honestly, i'm happy :)
i can't stop smiling this whole day.

you know, he already given me many signs.

acai: bila you kene ikut ur mum gi ofis? sebab i takut my brother takleh hantar brg tu.
acai: i'm near sayang. i'm so near to you sayang.

haish.
everyone can't stop saying how sweet it was, well i'm just glad that he's healthy :)

i wanted to say a big thanks to everybody has been supporting me.
seriously, i'm so grateful right now to have guys in my life :)
i appreciate every lil things you guys did :)

and sorry for making you guys worry too much about me X)
hey, if you guys were ever in my situation, i'll do the same for you guys k :)

kaklong, syafa, tintin, ann, geeja, atok :P, mommy nisa :), atilia, mya, nafis, arep, izzati, amy, nai, raa, ekin, god there're so many people. i'll tag you guys ok :)

and to CASEY, the one made it all happened,
sigh :)
you bitch ! :)

are u taking drama next sem for koku ? are you ? cause i think you'll ace it hands down -___-'

and to ieta, haish. ketuk ketuk jugak budak -___-'
lol :)

thanks again. well can't wait to see you oppa ! ^_^

ps; i've learned my lesson sir ! :D

SARANGHAE
FASYA
xoxo

I need you AZLAN SULAIMAN

2010-06-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

is it selfish of me to have this feeling of wanting and hoping and wishing that he will eventually show up in front of my door in one piece with his cheeky sweet smile and laughing at me?
"Hai sayang, did I scare ya ?"

is it wrong for my to ask and wish that this was all a joke just to make me realise how much i really love him ?

cause for once, i actually can't face the truth that he's laying in the hospital weak and hurt..

for all my life, i've been demanding to know the truth, to live with only the truth.

but now..
for once, I PRAYED TO GOD THAT THIS WAS ALL A DREAM.
for once... i am actually denying the truth.. running from it..

i've come to a point where i feel like i'm never gonna be okay.
not until his standing right in front of me now..

it feels like i'm being myself when i was in 2009.
weak,miserable..

i need him.
i really, really need him.
and i need him to know that.
so badly..

i'm overreacting.
he's not gonna die right ?
how stupid can i get? hahaha

"keraguan ini, bukanlah pada mu,
perasaan hati masih rindu,
kakalutan ini, hanyalah untukmu,
tercari-cari, bayanganmu,
tak sanggup aku, kehilanganmu."

what do you expect ?
you hear sad songs, of course you will end up being all sad and moody.
but i can't.
i can't stop listening to it..

Allah must love me very much for putting me in a such terrible position.

results are coming out.
i have yet to hangout with friends.
sorry gjie, i know that you were expecting to see me this week.
everything is just messed up..

tomorrow i have a job to do,
my mum asked me to teach her staffs the nobody dance.
huh.
i should be happy, since i love dancing..
but i'm not..
its weird..

everything is wrong..
i'm... all... wrong,,
and i know i should be strong..
but its just so hard..

i'm dying to know how is he doing..
i want to see him..
i want to look into his eyes and say i need him..
i love him..

stupid fasya, he's doing fasya.
for god sake.
i feel like pulling the trigger...

god, i will not sleep, until he's in my arms..
let the time passes quickly..
huh...

ps; i can't stop crying.
i miss you oppa...
byane.. saranghae..

BUNNY
xoxo

Ya Allah, Gantikan Tempat ku dengan Tempat dia, Aku Lebih Rela.

2010-06-08T04:11:00.004+08:00

tell me he'll be alright.
tell me that he's doing fine.
tell me that he got my messages and he's on his way to see me.
tell me that he's not hurt.
tell me that he's still breathing.
tell me that i'm just overreacting!

cause i know i am.

Ya Allah...
i have done the most terrible thing.

i felt like i was in a movie.
one second i was talking to him on the phone.
and then suddenly phone was off.

i couldn't even think straight cause i was fighting with him that time.
so i just ignore the signs.

i called. the phone was off.
thought that he was mad, so he shut his phone off.
i calm myself saying that he's being silly and immature.
called him again. still off.
i cursed him for turning his phone off.
third time called, i just couldn't be bother anymore.
i sent messages. eventhough i know he will not read it until he on his phone back.

and then..

astaghfirullah...

you have no idea how i felt.

to be fighting with the one that you dearly love and cause him in pain that cause his life.

maybe this is just another way of Allah to show me that everything could be taken away from me just like that.
i'm so weak..
i will not sleep.

not until i hear his voice.

*i'll cry my eyes out until there's no more tears anymore.
*i'm listening to his favourite song, to the song that he always sing to me,
to the song he always want me to sing, he said it was OUR song. a MUST song for him.
huh...
*i'm wearing his shirt and his perfume.
*i'm viewing his pictures and his messages all over again.
*i've texted his sis and my friend, to become my third persons.
*i'm praying for his safety and for him to be away from any harm or any injuries.
*i'm begging... on my knees... for him to be able to smile back at me..
*i'm dying here... crying...and hoping... wishing..
huh...

call me crazy, call me stupid, but i love that man more than my life.

heh, funny.
he would be laughing at me by now.
if he was here he'd prolly say, "oh really ? aww how sweet. for a minute, we were fighting just now. and now you're saying you love me ? now thats weird."

it is..
but thats how weird it is.
and i can't even answer to it..

oppa, i'm miserable at best..
byane...

you promise not to leave me..
please..

huh...
oh god, what have i done..
i'm so stupid !

if you were here right now, you'd prolly bite me and cursed me for saying i'm stupid.
i can't believe i actually miss being bite by you.
huh..

oppa, i'm listening to miserable at best.

"you're a thousand miles away.."

"don't cry.."

"and the hardest part of living is taking breath to stay.."

you know how words can make me cry ?
oh god, i can't sleep.
you're right..

"i can't sleep. not until i hear your voice."

i agree oppa, i know how you felt that time.
i can't sleep... and i will not sleep...

oppa.. be safe..

ps; i love you.
i love you.
like hell i do.
please, don't leave me.

BUNNY ATOLI
xoxo

Numb and Lazy are My Bestfriends :)

2010-06-06T02:37:00.002+08:00

SAYA PEMALAS.
:|

and proud of it ! miahaha >:)

my dear oekaki,
if you were a human, i bet you will make faces by now.
the whole one month of staying at home.
i haven't even touch my blog.
the only thing i ever do is wasting my time sleeping, eating or watching tv.
other than facebooking, which is getting bored by the minute.

but facebook is lucky enough to get me addicted in playing sorority life -___-'

i remember onlining myspace just to play that game.
sigh, good times :')

i barely open my myspace -____-'

will that also happen to my facebook ?
i mean, grow out from it -___-'

ok, i'm just randomly babble-ing since i have so many things to say but too lazy to write it down.

of course there are ups and downs of staying at home and quarantine from getting a job.
pfft parents.

but anyways, i've passed my computer test for Driving License :)

at least i AM DOING SOMETHING.

gosh, i'm terrified thinking about my results.
shit, that just means i need to sleep.

toodle-loo ! ;)

ps; i have come to a point where i am numb to breakups :)
and pain, and lies, and mistakes and anything else that could cause me in much miserable state :)
its a good/bad thing.
i can't be too comfort with this, cause if i do,
i'll end up being heartless for sho!
and you wouldn't want that, don't chu ? :)

i mean, what is love without a heart ? :D
you should be scared.
cause you almost lost me.
but next time won't be that easy for you anymore.
respect, relax and response :)

pss; eh eh mcm 3R plak -___-'

FARAH SYAFIQAH
xoxo

i mean nothing to you.

2010-05-29T03:00:00.003+08:00

i'm PMS.
so you should have been prepared for this to happen.
but nooooo.
you just had to make things to go your way.
cause you ARE ALWAYS RIGHT!

well no more!
you will not take advantage of my weakness !
i'm done of being blame !

you always put me high and throw me down like i'm nothing to you !

i'm not gonna, no.
not again..
i've cried my eyes everytime you left me all alone.

and you always endup saying sorry, and i always forgive you and take you back..

i'm sorry that i'm not perfect !
i'm sorry that i'm dumb !
i'm sorry that i'm blur !
and i'm sorry that i can't do what you ask me to.

i can't answer things straight !
cause i'm the type of person who forget things.
especially when having the TIME OF THE MONTH !
fuck !

i've done it...
it's done..
but why am i crying now ?
why am i feeling sad...

when i'm the one who decide this..
i'm the one who chose this path..

i feel like i didn't want it to end this way !

i hate it when you're not here !

i hate you i hate you i hate you !
i'm wishing, in every single way of me saying this i would eventually hate you !
cuase right now...i can't hate you at all....

why....

my heart is wrecking.
fuck !

from a great conversation, it suddenly change into some kind of beastly fight.
you are soooo stupid to ask me with that kind of question !

.................
(talking on the phone)

ok, fine. what i wrote above, was what i wrote while i was feeling unstable.

now i see clearly.
and hard to say that if i'm feeling better.
cause i'm not.

it's a good thing when someone is still holding on to you.
after what you did to them.
but the question is, would you hold them as well ?
after what they did ?

you know... this is hard.
the hot and cold thing.

i mean, you love them, but you just don't think they deserve the right to hurt you again.
but it's hard, cause you know that you can't let them go.
cause you love them so much, even though your heart is like already in bits and pieces.

sigh..

maybe they're right. maybe i'm too young to be in love.
maybe i put myself in a huge hole too soon.

pushing them far away eventhough knowing that you fucking hell love them,
is like denying how much you love them.
lying to them as in hurting them and yourself, when you know that you need them.

oh great, i'm a hypocrite.
God, when will this ever end.

I HATE PMS.

ps; if i could just turn back time.
i want to turn back time to the moment where i first shook hands with love.
to moment when i thrown myself into hell/heaven situation.
if i could !... i would shake hands the right way and not get myself thrown as fast as lightning.

ANDY
xoxo

Random Thoughts

2010-05-20T04:59:00.002+08:00

ps; this post was meant to be post on 15th of May, but i didnt complete it -__-'

why do we like to hurt so much ?
why do i like to put myself in horrible situations ?
it's not like i enjoy to be hurt.
do u ?
of course you don't.

but then, in every angle of life, we always throw ourselves in such terrible places.
either unwillingly.. or WILLINGLY.

you know why we are willing to be hurt by people, to hurt ourselves ?
because we always put others first.
and that's the problem.

i'm not saying as if i'm smart enough to handle my own problem.
to be honest, i'm having the same problem as you are my friend.

i tend to blind my eyes and let my heart out open wide so that people could actually stomp on it.
which is crazy, but that's what i do.
willing or unwillingly.
because i love them..

in hopes that they could actually see that and stop,
but they don't.
thats why they don't appreciate as how they should.
in the end, they took you lightly and hurt you.

the reason that i am writing this post..
is because today i have marked a day that i let myself being hurt again by my loved ones.
*shrugs*

i'm already used to it.
at least that's a perfect excuse for me to cover up how broken hearted i am.

but you know, with one simple sorry or even looking at their eyes,
since you're already love them so much that you sacrifice your feelings for them, of course, when they say they're sorry,
you would straight away blindly forgive them.

--------------
i stopped there -__-'
ok i don't knw how to continue this post :|

ok, one last sentence.
that blindly forgive thingy ?
well i don't know about u, but i do that often.
LOL

oh well-___-'

ps; i miss you. real bad.
you're still a friend that i need.
stop acting this way.
do you really love me ? sigh..

FASYA
xoxo

Nokia Bluetooth Stereo Headset BH-505

2010-05-16T05:06:00.003+08:00

ok saya nak ni, faham ?
ada kaw paham ?
lol

Nokia Bluetooth Stereo Headset BH-505
it's wireless, so no more long wires that gets tangled up -__-'
easy for jogging. miahaha XD

and best part, no need to connect to the phone.
pfft kang tertarik-tarik wayar -__-'

i just realised, my phone is only 5 months old.
aww my poor baby is sick :(
i haven't been taking good care of it :(
phoney, don't die on me please.
i still need you :(

unless i get a new phone :P

ps; i'm listening to blue - breathe easy.
sigh :(

please tell me you still need me :(
so insecure -___-'

FASYA
xoxo

Overload of Emotions

2010-05-14T02:51:00.002+08:00

i'm sick and tired of being sad.
it's not that i dont have friends.
i'm not alone.
it's just that i feel lonely. pathetic right ?
i have alot of friends that would probably slap my face right now if they find out that i didn't run to them when i'm feeling all blue like this.

i'm sorry my bitches.
sometimes, being all emo and sad just takes away your sense and makes you feel like you want to feel left out in this world.

well..
i don't really feel like continuing with this post.
i mean, it's not like you've never felt what i am going through right now.

feels like everyone in this world blames you for everything.
feels like you are screaming so loud. so hard.. so bad.. but still not one person can hear you.

you're crying so hard that every time you breathe in air your lungs pushed it back out and your heart is like being ripped out slowly from your body that you don't feel like you're breathing at all.

it's beating so fast that you feel like you're living and dying at the same time.
you end up, bringing your hands close to your face asking yourself, what am i doing here ? why am i feeling this terrible pain ?
why am i suffering ?

whoa! talk about emotional.
i end up telling you how i feel actually.
well bits of it.

it's normal..
to feel that way..
or should i say, to feel how i feel right now..
is it ? is it normal ?

at least i know that i'm already used to this.

heh what a liar, i'm such a liar.
maybe acai is right.
i am a liar.

heh no.
i'm not.
i strongly believe i'm not a liar.

just because i don't tell people or be honest with myself, doesnt mean i'm a liar.

i mean, whats the freaking point anyway ?
whats the point of ME telling how i really feel when i know in the end it'll all come back to me ?

"you have to think thoroughly. maybe its your fault that you got yourself into this.

"you're selfish, you keep making mistakes and now you're pointing fingers at others."

"you're so immature. crying over something. it won't help anything. you need keep yourself calm."

oh and my 'FAVOURITE' one.

"aww, i know how you feel."

EFF you.

it's there any point of saying that ?

*sending a msg*

well that was a long msg.
you're probably asleep right now.
i just hope.. when you read it.. you won't be mad at me..

i'm done.
i have nothing else to say.
or should i say, there's nothing else that i can say.

all i know, it's just not fair.

it's not fair when someone people can hurt my feelings but i can't.
it's not fair that you can be mad at me, but i can't.

it's not fair that i'm always the one to be blame.

hyakuji...
huh..

oh well..

ps; this pain will never go away.
never...

FASYA
xoxo

Boyfriend's Ex

2010-05-13T23:32:00.003+08:00

at this moment,
i wish that there was a manual for 'How To Talk To Your Boyfriend's ExGirlfriend'.
why?

cause i don't know :|

i mean, unless she has a boyfriend already.
but the fact that she doesn't.
and the fact she stills care for my boyfriend.

how did i know that ? cause i'm chatting with her right now 0_0
well, she does most of the chatting.
while i just went from bad mood to overdose with sadness and pain now -__-'

oh god, she's asking me to take care of him.
i know it's nice but why is it so hard for me to swallow this in !

so what, she's prettier ! she's skinny ! well at least she has the model figure that girls die for.
so i can't help myself for feeling insecure !
oh god ! she said that they were going to get engaged !
"tapi jodoh tda.."

oh that helps me very much !
the funny thing, she seems like she's trying to make me see the good side of him.
and whats with this talk saying "jangan gado2" and "fhmi dia"

like wth ?

i'm on the edge of pushing myself off the cliff.
why ?
now she is saying something opposite of what i heard before.

great.
i'm being lied again and again.

oh great, i'm such a hypocrite.

me :"oh really ? thx."

oh right oppa , jaga hati i ek ?
pfft f*.

TYPING TYPING TYPING.

should i say it to her ? so that she get a smack in the face? a slap back to reality ?

since i don't know who's lying and who's telling the truth ? *evil smile*

TYPING TYPING TYPING....

done.
well, that shut her up for good.
why ? can't face the truth ?
too bad.

i'm sorry, i can't be hypocrite like u.
i'm sorry, i don't live to please people honey.
your lies won't do you any good.

pfft.
where's the manual when you need one.

fasya out !
i always wanted to say that :B

ps; i'm broken. again and again.
now, there's no body to trust, and no one to hold on to.
i'm alone again.
i have friends, but i feel so lonely.
heh, how pathetic..

FASYA
xoxo

Nothing To Say 0_0

2010-05-12T03:59:00.003+08:00

let me just say i am the GREEEEEEATEST Procrastinator ev-ah! ;)
i've been home for 5 days, and i have yet to update my blog.
like pfft, it's not like i'm busy.
i online Facebook 24-7 ever since i got home.
and i opened my blog daily.
oh which reminds me, i have yet to complete reading fazra's blog -__-'

i've been missing alot !! X'(

i've been living under a rock :'(
oh well..
i've got 2 months to catch up with things :)

i need to find job regardless of not allowed to work during sem break.
it's not the money that i'm aiming, it's the time.
well then again, maybe not working wouldn't be that bad..

oh no no no ! staying up until 6 am ? and waking at 2 pm !
OH my Oh my.
now that wouldn't do me good, would it ?

oh i know alot of people already post this but..

HAPPY SEMESTER BREAK TO ALL ! :D

ps; don't worry nunu, you'll be coming back to Malaysia soon right ? :D

the last decent picture with my oppa :3

no offence oppa, but most of our picture were like.. err controversial ? LOL
plus you always make faces -__-'

anyway, credits to tina for capturing it secretly :P
it come out pretty good.
thx to you, i have a great pic of me and my husband ;)
haha !

anyway, it's 5.15 am.
i don't know what to say anymore.
oh oh !

i'll be reading and eating up all your posts soon k.
fazra, nuha, atok, and the rest blogger whom i've been not updating myself with -___-'

i need to stop being lazy.
but i can't help it that i always online with my butt on the bed *smile with eyes closed*

oh oh random fact, will not really.
this post, it was meant for yesterday.
see, there i go again ! procrastinate *smiles with eyes closed*

oh well :)

current song listening: you belong with - taylor swift
ps; i'm confused. i miss you. please call. or sms ? one sms would ease me :)
but please, don't stop sms me at all. even when you're mad.
pretty please ?
i love you :)

FASYA
xoxo

Today I Saw A Firefly in TPH 1303

2010-04-28T00:30:00.006+08:00

yes,
i'm like a monkey who just hit a jackpot of bananas.
lol

well unfortunately in my situation,
i don't get to see fireflies in everyday life.
i've never seen one live in front of my own eyes before.
thats why i wrote this on my blog :3

kidot predict that i would write.
well she predicted right :)

oh kidot is my roomie :)

oh come to think of it, i never told you about my roomies.
well aira already went away.
so all thats left is only 2 roomies.
so in 1303,
only 3 students staying in.

bahaha, i hope i will stay in the same room :)
why ? cause i just love the number 1303 :)

oh wait i'm off the topic -__-'

meet amy (left) and kidot (right)
i love them :)
i hope that i will stay roommates with them.
there's no other people i would want to share room other than them :)
we click yo ;)

i don't mind walking all the way up to the third floor, eventhough it is tiring.
but 1303 will always be in my heart :)
bahahah
uitm di hati ku ?
maaaaaybe XD

oh well, off to study more bbm :)
wish me luck peeps ;)

ps; i just realised how miserable i am without you oppa.
how am i going to stand the 2 months ? :|
oh God, help me -__-'
i do not need a reason to hate myself now :(

pss; i love u AZLAN SULAIMAN :)

nothing on you - B.o.B ft bruno mars
FASYA
xoxo

My Love Advice To You, ACAI

2010-04-06T22:29:00.004+08:00

does love has to really shown like FULLY?
i mean,
GOD HOW COMMERCIAL CAN YOUR LOVE GET ???

i'm sorry.
it's probably because this room is quite hot right now and i'm full with stress n surrounded with assignments and the rush of final exams.
so...

SORRY IF I'M BEING CRAPPY AND ABIT HARSfTFUL.

yes, i'm talking to you ACAI.
wanna know who's acai ?
oh of course those who has my facebook knows.
it's like WRITTEN ALL OVER THE FACEBOOK.

is it STIIIIIIIILL not good enough for you to understand ?

yes, I'M MARRIED TO ACAI.
please, jump off a building if you have a slight problem with that.
cause as far as i know, i have no problem with you at all :)

see ?
i did warned you if i get abit crappy and harsh right ?

i just need to let it out.
i know this is not healthy.
i mean, i should just say it in his face.

but i just don't think it's enough.
he needs proof.

ACAI.
please read carefully ok.
first thing first, I LOVE YOU.
ok done.

i love this picture :)
so badly :)

ok. read up oppa.

first, i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for endlessly making mistakes and doing things that hurt you alot.
it was involuntarily.
do you even understand what it means ?
it means it is unintendedly.
i never thought of those horrible things would happen.
i must have been too blind to see it coming.
but just know that, i never have any intention to hurt you.
never.
i would never do anything that could hurt you.
it's crazy.

if i ever did, then that just means i'm crazy that time, and i wasn't thinking straight.
but it would totally weird, when i totally care about how you feel.
shit, even all those words can't describe how i feel.
so you see ? i totally care about your feelings.
ENOUGH SAID.

second.
do i really need to show how i feel ?
do i really need to post it on facebook and shove it to everyone's face how much i love you ?
is that how you understand how i feel ?
if it is, then it's crappy.

cause to me, love does not need to be so commercial and to be publicity to the world.
as long as we know that we love each other, isn't that enough ?
cause if love has to be so commercial, doesn't that love look so...
cheap?
no offence.
just writing how i feel.

thats all.
i love you.
please, i do.
thank you.

third.
i don't mind you being all jealous..
but cmon !
don't interpret everything i do wrongly !
gosh -__-'

fourth.
don't be so sarcasticly mean when you ask something that you don't know please ?

oh wait, i just remembered, i should have just do a video like i always do right ?
maybe i will.
but i'm going to post this as well.

why ?

cause fifth,
JUST BECAUSE I DON'T USUALLY WRITE YOU NAME IN MY BLOG, doesnt mean i never write things specificly for you.

you think all that "i miss you, i need you" yada yada is someone else ?

gosh ! -____-'

yes, i'm tired !
tired of convincing something that is already convinced !
maybe i should do statistic with all facts. haha

okay not funny -__-'

anyway...

ermm..

don't know what to say anymore 0__0

sixth,
i love you.

enough said.
off to do my assignments.

you see ???

i am sparing few of my hours just to do this post.
for you !

please, do you believe me now ? :)

ps; why the hell my room feel so hot tonight -__-'

i love you for no reason, AZLAN SULAIMAN
FASYA
xoxo

Qoute 2#

2010-04-03T17:17:00.002+08:00

"i can't stay still, i don't trust easily.
so MAKE me believe in you, keep me close to you.
then there's nothing to worry.
i'm all yours, as long as you want me to"

:)
i know i know.
AWWWW :P

"it's hard. not only because you don't know. cause you don't feel what i feel."

:)

"for you, i can do anything. everything.
but there's one thing that i couldn't do, even if you ask me to.
and that is, not to love you."

:')

bahaha XD

and yes moose.
i am full of cheesy meesy words.
not because i'm in the moment.

just felt like expressing it out.

i always have inspiration for quotes :P

just never want to show it :P
haha XD

"i love you,
thats why i miss you,
meaning that i care about you,
and i'll never leave you,
because i NEED YOU."

bahahaha XD
i'm so good :)
hahah :'D

"pain may heal but the scars remain."

:)

"fixing a broken heart is like reassembling the pieces of a broken mirror and you cut yourself in the process."

is it just me or its getting emoish ? 0_o

LOL

oh well.
off to upload more pictures :)

ps; please. i need you.
like i always do :)
FASYA
xoxo

Quotes and Friend :)

2010-03-31T20:23:00.004+08:00

just felt like posting few quotes that i wrote for myself and based from experiences.

"if you ask me not to leave you, then i won't leave you. but if you ask me not to love you, then i'm sorry. i just can't do that."

"of all the lies that i've heard, I LOVE YOU was my favourite"

emo yet, i love that.
i got that from asyue :)
wanna know who's that ?

well she stays next to my room :)
we got close through dance training :)
she's tall and skinny and pretty
of all people, she keeps LOADS AND LOADS of quotes.
seriously, she's amazing :)

oh wait, i end up talking about my next door neighbour -__-'
haha

anyway, this picture was taken during busking.
the lighting was awesome, so i decided to make her my model.
well alot of people had to be my model that night :D

i like this picture alot :)
and i love the person in this picture alot too !
:D

asyue,
no matter what people say, i will always love you.
things was rough back then, but i still believe in second chances.
just don't be afraid, if you are on the right side, then there's nothing to fear.
:)

truth will always reveals itself.
that is a guaranteed karma :)

oh more quotes

"it's already hard enough for me to say I LOVE YOU. now you're leaving me slowly, what am i suppose to do ?
throw away my feelings? "

well i'm in hurry right now.
i'm just onlining cause i was bored of waiting to take shower.
oh well :)

at least i update this blog :)
i miss blogging so badly.
and i miss reading everybody's blog -_-'

i miss you fazra ! nuha ! at0k! :)
and loads more whom i can't write out cause it'll take more than an hour.
haha now thats a full mouth :D

till next time, toodles ;)

ps; wouldn't it be nice if you just say what you mean to say ? :)
lies are just tiring, don't you think ? :)
FASYA
xoxo

PERKAD to MiTC

2010-03-27T14:08:00.003+08:00

NEWS FLASH.
last night we had the most terrible rain ever.
lightning flashes from one to another, thunder everywhere.
not only that my life went from exciting to VERY HECTIC.

rain was not only the main problem,
i had a pre-competition to represent my kolej in Santai Kebudayaan.
and a forum was being held at the same time, and the reason why this forum is important is because you got stamp for college's activities.
and unfortunately my stamps are still incomplete to ensure i could still stay in this college next sem. CRAP

oh oh to add more problem,
at the same time as the forum and competition was being held,
A REHEARSAL FOR PERKAD WAS BEING HELD LAST NIGHT and it was COMPULSORY for me to attend it.
ARGHH !

how crappie my life would get ?

DON'T ANSWER !
cause today has answered for me !

results?

I AM WHOOSH UP !

seriously, i mean, we spent practicing marching from 8 sumfing and end like 12 midnight.
and not only that, i slept late and then today woke up at 6.30 am !

and straight to perkad,
and thank god i survive the heat, the sun (why am i repeating this, cause it's important for you to know how hot it was today), and stand through the opening ceremony and closing !

and i marched, well.. okay ?
it doesn't matter.
as long as i don't have to repeat next sem !

win or lose, thats beside the story.
(we lost anyway)
PFFT

and now i'm rushing to go take my bus off to do my duty taking care of artists and singers at MiTC.

exciting ?
yes, no. maybe ?

precisely :(

my feet is sore.
oh yeah, did i mention last night my sport shoes got ripped again ?

yeah, the same sport shoes i used during MMS.
the one i sent to get fix. well sewed to be precise.
but now it's ripped again.

so now i am left with no sport shoes.
HOW NICE.

erghh !
rushing rushing.

can't wait to go back home :(

ps; i miss you !
i hope you feel the same way.

ilysm
FASYA
xoxo

Next Time You Point Your Finger, I'll Point You To The Mirror :)

2010-03-26T17:47:00.003+08:00

please do listen, read and understand.
this song precisely reflects how i feel right now, and i dedicate this specially for,
heh YOU >:)

Playing God - Paramore
I can't make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
So i don't go where you don't want me
You say that i've been changing
That i'm not just simply Ageing
Well how could that be logical?
Just keep on craming ideas down my throat
Woah

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
And break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

If Gods the game that you're playing
Well we must get more aquainted
Because it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion but it's one that i believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
Woah

You don't have to believe me
But the way i, way i see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

This is the last second chance
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm on both sides of the fence
(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret i'll hold you to it

I know you don't believe me
But the way i, way i see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

I know you won't believe me
But the way i, way i see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror.

ps; i still love you, STUPID
FASYA
xoxo

Falling To Bits and Pieces

2010-03-24T01:51:00.003+08:00

it's normal.
to cry for no reason.
i mean sure.

there's gonna be that one day or one night where you feel like just sitting alone, probably listening to the wind or even songs, and you end up with tears on your face.

NO BIGGY.

at times like this,
have you ever asked yourself..

were you crying because you were all alone, or because you FELT so alone ?

and do you really need someone to be by you side just to say,

"hey, whats wrong?
cmon, tell me whats ur problem. maybe it'll ease the pain alil.
hey, i'm here. aww"

the thing IS...

what should i say if i was crying for nothing ??
i mean..

i know it's weird to cry when there's nothing wrong.
but..

that is just it!
i just felt like crying!
that's all.
and it may be alil pathetic but i just can't help it..

but it would be nice if you don't talk that much..
just sit by my side and hold me close to your arms and..
just say you love me..

there's nothing you can do if there's nothing wrong with me, right ?

so stop talking as if there's something wrong with me !

just..
just be there..

"you say it best, WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL"

they don't just write songs blindly, you know.
it gotta means something.

huh..
is it so hard ?
to just look into my eyes, and mean what you really want to say to me ?
to just say those three words with passion and honesty?

wanna know something funny ?
i have been pretending in alot of situations.
i never thought this is the worst situation i've ever been.
i thought that pretending is already in my blood.
so why is it hard for me to do this ?
what is so damn different right now ?

have i become too honest with people that i can't lie anymore ?
heh, i still smile even when i'm sad.
so whats the effing different now ??
urrrgh !!!

what is wrong with me ?
am i really that different now ?

am i really that weak ?
crap.

to those who is reading this,
please..
i still love you..
but probably tonight i'm just TOO selfish to think straight to even pick up the phone or knock on the door to cry on your shoulder.

it would be nice, but it's better if i just sit infront of this lappieto and cry my eyes out while my roomies are fast asleep.

LOL

i need to rest.
got another exam.
SOCIO.
hw nice -_-'

yup there goes the first smiley in this post.
LOL

ps; i miss those dozens of kisses and hugs.
i miss alot of things..
i miss those lil things that gives butterflies to my tummy.
those sweet things that would lit up the smile on my day.
you know ?
tsk..

can't have you, can't live without you
FASYA
xoxo

Braces or No Braces, I'm Still Your Bitch :)

2010-03-20T01:31:00.012+08:00

why am i doing this again ?
i don't even know why !

i am suiciding myself by posting all this pictures.
to prove how ugly can be pretty.
haha

yes, i took your words, happy ? :P

but to be honest with you, after i took all these pictures,
i suddenly realized how i don't look bad at all.
i actually look cute ? :P

fine ! so what if i'm vain with myself ?
who else gonna treat u nicely other than urself right ?

so there, I AM CUTE EVEN WHEN I'M WEARING BRACES.
said and DONE.
:P

anyway, remember my last post ?

the "call me 'budak separuh gigi besi' " ?

here's the continuation.
we're reaching the climax.

let see how long the suffering begin shall we ?
lets mark 19 of march 2010.
DONE.

:)

here's more pictures of how ridiculous i became while taking pictures.

i've sent mms to jojot, cause i promised her once i got my full braces that i would show.
and i've sent mms as well to my hubby at Lendu.

and the words that i got from him was..

"U, i mintak break ble?"

haha !
yes, very funny oppa 0__0

it started all sweet and cute.

then it started getting vainer.. -__-'

and then it gets pretty ugly and ridiculous -_-'
is it just me or i've been using the word ugly, ridiculous so many times tonight ?
hyakuji hyakuji :)
LOL

oh well :)

i had to smile like this so that you can see my full braces ok !
it hurts actually when i smile like that -__-'
it is SOOO FAKE 0_0

oh and i took all the pictures above using my phone cam.
which is kinda cool that it turned out okay :)

here's a collage of the pictures i took using my baby D3K

yeah, i love my baby D3K :3

oh damn ! i am most confident to walk out of this house without feeling of being watch ! :D
where did i get all this confident ?
i do not know !

but all i know that i am pretty braces or no braces !

it's not about the outside, it's the beauty within :)

ok.
i'm tired.
i did this post for certain someone satisfaction.
but in the end it became my satisfaction :D

oh how cute i am with braces :)

haha i better stop now.
it annoys me as well -_-'

yes ! i know ! there's alot i need to update !
but don't worry, at least ur up to date with how i look like ! :D
haha

ps; i will listen to Anita the psychic.
i will watch and let things happen :)
toodles ;)

taylor swift - crazier
FASYA
xoxo

Special Delivery

2010-03-10T19:32:00.003+08:00

TO JOJOT

dear jojot,

i am writing this like i am sending a letter.
eventhough we are actually in a cyber world, that does not mean we can't act like we are from the 80s who still haven't yet to discover what is computer.

without going out from the topic,
i want to start off by saying I MISS YOU.
enough said.

it occurred to me that during the last holiday (which is CNY) we did not had much time to spent a slight moment for each other.
i understand for we have been too busy with our studies life that we couldn't even spare a minute to talk to each other.
i for one, feel very sad and guilty.

you took the liberty to actually sms-ed me and asked how i am doing,
while i just daydream about u but never pick up the phone just to say hello.
I AM VERY SORRY.

but i hope that i can make it up to you.
i heard that your finals are coming up.
with finals are up, that means holidays are coming as well.
i know that you and i are in a dilemma state which are excited and scared for the finals and the holidays.

but whatever the consequences and the future will bring,
i just want you to know,

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

many things i wanted to tell you.
how i am doing here.
how my life has never been so dull lately.
it has been too colourful with many things that i could not even describe.

yes, there are days where my life felt so EMPTY.

but i know that you wouldn't want to see me crying alone.

still, i am very sorry if i ever did shed tears alone.
some things are inevitable.

everyday is an adventure to me.
there are no day that i can say i feel so bored.

i have been so active that i could not believe i am this energetic.
but you would.
cause you know how hyper i can be, right ?

there are also days, where i face so many problems.
actually everyday, i have to face problems.

i'm not ego.
that is not the reason why i did not pick up the phone just to tell you how miserable i am.

the reason i did not call you is because,
MY BILLS ARE HIGH.
hahah

and i was very busy.

but i'm glad.
cause.. well do you remember last year ? haha
do you still remember how i was ?
and do you remember what you told me ?

"jojot doakan sangat farah masuk cepat. supaya farah tak emo lagi and biarlah farah busy sampai penat. at least farah tak kan duduk tak buat pape and then mengenangkan balik kisah silam. jojot taknak farah nangis."

well you got your wish.

i am very busy :)

though sometimes,
missing you and some of my friends can make me feel alil bit depressed.

i hope this letter is not too long for you to read.
and i hope you get this as soon as possible.
till we meet again,
i love you my faraway cousin.

though perak and melaka isn't that far. LOL :P
not as far as England :P

ps; i always think of you everyday.
seriously :)

from,
your hyperly cute sexy bitch cousin,
ALANG :)
xoxo

Tuesdays Blues

2010-03-09T01:33:00.001+08:00

I AM VERY SORRY.
for not updating my blog.
for not reporting what has happen around my life.

but boy you wouldn't guess what i had gone through this year.
my life is so hectic right now that even words can't describe.
10 post is not even enough to tell you guys everything.

but i'm glad that 2010 is much more happening than 2009.
errgh no way i want to go through 2009 again.

of course, i started my first job in 2009.
and i build myself from nothing to something.
and there are good times durinhg 2009.

but..

I AM HAPPY WHERE I AM :)

so you see, this post was supposed to be published 4 days ago.
but the wifi at UiTM sucks so bad that it didn't get through.

oh fyi, i am continuing what i left in the draft while having my CSC class.

i wish my class was not cramped up the whole Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

ok i need to make a list of things i need to post:

-we won cheer block for our level ! go level 13 ! :D
-masscom induction was like one month ago, but i still want to post that out
-going out with friends was so awesome. i miss it so much.. huh..
-went for my first date at JJ. LOL
-went to the beach !! wee :D

well kinda mental block right now -__-'
i'll keep it post if i remember more events.

first off i need to post something specil for jojot !
and something about my current boyfie.
kinda personal but heh, there's no such thing as personal once ur reading this my dear ;)

ok off to multitasking between class and blog XD

ustaz alias, please don't hate me.
i'm still focusing most of my attention to you :)
maybe 70% ? :D
and i'm serious ;)

toodles ! :D

ps; i miss you very much.
more than i could have ever imagine.

CSC class
FASYA
xoxo

I'll Pretend

2010-03-02T02:20:00.002+08:00

"tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?"

i'm scared.
that is all.
i am happy.
but yet afraid.

this is not me.

they even said i'm weird.

the fasya that they know is not a scaredy cat.
she ain't afraid of taking risk.
she's up for challenge.

and she never gives up.

i know that.
they know that.

then, why am i feeling so helplessly down?
help.
i need help.
i need someone to hold my hand and bring me back to senses.
i need someone to keep my grounded and strong.
i just need a whisper of faith and strength.

thats all i need.
please ?

do i really need to spell everything for you ?
do i really need to show my real feelings blindly to you ?

is it hard to read me ?
is it hard to see through my mask ?

you're so different.
at times, i feel i need u mre than i need myself.
at times, i'm scared of being with you.
i'm scared of falling thoroughly for you.

it's too soon.
that's what i always said to myself.

can't you see the walls i build so hard between you and me ?
i'm trying so hard to not fall deep.
but u just blow right through these walls, and now i'm left open.
with no hopes and dreams, i can't even stand still.
my ground is unstable.

what i can't understand, there are times,
you will build those walls up again and made me despise you.
i don't want to hurt you, i really do.
but please don't blame me if i was the reason you cry at night one of these days.

ok.
i totally need some sleep.
never mind.
just babble-ing around again.
zzz

no air
FASYA
xoxo

Ai Shi Teru

2010-02-26T03:32:00.004+08:00

i know how it feels to be confused.
it hurts. cause you wish you knew everything.
but you could do nothing, when no one is filling the empty spaces.
in the end, you end up knowing NOTHING.

i am in no intentions to make you confuse.
i am in no intention to make you feel insecure as what i had gone through all these years.

i just want you to know that you're stuck on my mind.
my friends said i think TOO MUCH about you.
too much has never make sense to me, cause all i wanna do is just to be with you.

and by letting you runnning around my head, at least i can feel your presence standing by me.

i don't want to be selfish, yet i don't want to be called heartless.
so let me just say this with all my heart.

I LOVE YOU.
and the only thing i want is, to see you happy.
THATS ALL.

love isn't suppose to be a war.

oh and when i said the quote and all, let me rephrase and explain.

when a girl and boy swore their undying love to one another, it is enough to understand that they belong with each other.

and a third person shouldn't be involve to make that undying love become a triangle love.

how can you expect others to respect you, when you don't even respect someone's heart?

but then again, i am a good person. I AM.
so i want to be in the middle.

i might not be the lucky girl, i might not be the juliet, the heroin of this undying love.
so if i'm not all those thing, wouldn't that mean I'M THE THIRD PERSON?

cause if i am, then i prefer to back off.
the last thing i want to do, is to destroy a wonderful love relationship.
i want a love that is meant for me.

i don't want to fight my way to get love.
i don't want to sacrifice my soul to win love but in the end gain nothing but pain.

all i'm saying,
i am not jealous :)
thats all :)

ps; too tired to even think straight.
wishing to hear his voice singing.
sweet dream apple

your guardian angel
FASYA
xoxo

Can't Have You

2010-02-24T04:18:00.004+08:00

i'm not JEALOUS.

i'm tired of lies.
i'm tired of drama.
i'm tired of rumours spreading in negative ways.

i'm tired of trying to find a reason for what has happened in my life.
i'm tired of searching my right AND wrong.

i'm tired of crying my eyes out and making myself plastic everytime i see people.
i'm tired of listening to the same old advice.

i'm tired of fighting my way to survive a day in life.
i'm tired of chilling out to keep everything cool and slow.

i'm tired of being scared doing something wrong.
i'm tired of questioning if it really worth it ?

i'm tired of finding it hard to say no.
i'm tired of pleasing others.

i'm tired of BEING TIRED.

but most importantly,

i'm tired of not being ME.

this is not me.
i'm such a hypocrite for being a hypocrite myself.

i said i wouldn't lie, but i smile and walk away.
i said that i'll be okay, but i kept crying and crying and look away.

i'm waiting..
i'm waiting for the time... where my whole world crashes down.
and when that time come, i'll walk away from you FOR GOOD.

cause i don't deserve this love.
i don't deserve anything.

it started with nothing.
so why does it has to bloom with something ?

i know i won't feel peace.
i know i won't be me again.
but love is just not for me.
i know that before.
and i know that now.

but for the time being,
i'm loving the warm comfy feeling you give me.
i'm loving the seconds where i feel i am not lonely.
i'm loving the knowing that you love me.
i'm loving the feeling of being loved.
i'm loving being in love.

and i'm loving.. you.

but only God knows.
ONLY GOD KNOWS.

i'm not jealous.
i just feel like it is not worth it to cry over a guy or to fight over a guy.
if you are both in love, there's no time to fight with others to win this guy.
cause practically, he's already yours.

so someone should just BACK OFF.

but if it is me who should back OFF,

please don't sigh when i'm gone.
it was all....

MEANT TO BE.

ps; maybe we're trying to hard,
maybe we're torn apart,
maybe the timing is beating our heart,
we're EMPTY.

hurt
FASYA
xoxo

It's Weird, He's Weird

2010-02-23T04:38:00.002+08:00

#he's crazy.

#he's naughty.

#it's hard to see him being serious.
but once he does, you'll freak out.

#he jokes around alot.
more than you could ever imagine.

#he doesn't act his age.
he's like a small kid who thinks this world is made out of candy.
and when it rains, it rains chocolate.

#he gets jealous, but he never tell.
but he always use mean sarcastic words that it actually reflect how jealous he is.
it hurts but at the same time, it made me happy to know he loves me too much that he can't see me with another man :)

#he's different.
at times i'm not sure if we're on the same page.
at times, it can be very awkward.
but eyes never lie :)

#he's not perfect.

#he's scandalicious.
i've been warned by alot of people.
heh, i can be very stubborn :)

but eventhough he jokes 24/7,
i'm his wife.
and that's all that you need to know.
nothing else.

AND HE LOVES ME.

the end :)

ps; hey apple! hey apple ! hey hey apple !
LOL :P
I LOVE YOU :)
yes, you.
ACAI :)

fallin' for you - colbie caillat
FASYA
xoxo

10 Most Appealing Men ;) Tagged by Fazra

2010-02-20T04:07:00.004+08:00

i'm so sorry for putting this off for quite some time.
but a promise is a promise :)

so here it goes.
10 hottest man !
um, honestly, i don't rank them.

cause to me,
they are soooo sexay that they make me drool all the time X)

oh wait, i've checked fazra's post again.
it's suppose to be 10 APPEALING MEN.
LOL

ps; i do not have a solid celebrity crush for i don't really go gaga over a celebrity for a long time.
i just like them when they act on the movie.
once the movie is finish. so does my feeling -_-'

ok. first off !

meet Ewan McGregor :)
my obi wan kenobi

ok, i fell in love with him when i watched The Island.
the one he was in with scarlett johansson.

he was so cute when he was blur about the human interaction :)
and and i fell in love with him even MORE when i watched him in Moulin Rouge yesterday.
that is why his picture is the first one i put here.
because he is the first person that comes to my mind about appealing me -_-'
he sang awesomely in that movie :)
i want to buy the cd once its out :D
oh yeah, and he plays obi-wan kenobi in star wars :D

2nd Lee Dong Wook

look at him :)
i could post a thousand pictures of him but it's still not enough to show how adorable he is :)
i've fell in love with him when i watched him in My Girl Korean Drama.
awesome drama.
i bought the soundtrack after watching the drama :)

oh and when he has the hobo looks.
as in when he doesn't shave,
well, i dont know why.. but he reminds me of my ex -__-'
in a good way though :)

3rd Jake Gylenhaal

oh please tell me this reminds you guys of some guy you know :D
gjie ? queeny ? anybody ?
thick eyebrow, puppy eye ?
arghh XD
ok ok cool down :)

have you guys seen him in 'Bubble Boy' ?
funny. awesome man :)
he was as cute as puppy :D
and he is !
and have you guys seen his muscle.

kudos to him! he can be sexy and cute and muscular.
he has so many characters X)
i love him. i love him i love him i love him !
grr :)

4th Channing Tatum

why him ?
well practically because he dance :P
and his muscle 8D
and he has that cheeky smile of his.
and when he talk, he talks in a cool way :]
bahah XD

5th Robert Hoffman

he's funny, he's sexy, he can dance.
and he has that cute casanova smile.
like, DAAAMn ~ haha :D

haha both 4th and 5th are from step up movie X)

6th Daniel Henny

dude.
do i really need to explain this ?
like... [i am pressing each and one of these words] COME. ON.
LOOK at him !
he's adorable, he's sexy, he's just.. pfssh ! most guys go gay BECAUSE OF HIM OK.
and thats A FACT :|

i'm getting tired -_-'

7th Hugh Dancy

he's messy. but if a guy's look reminds me of someone that i love,
then i don't care.
i'll fall gaga over him instantly.
LOL
but seriously, thats the truth.

oh he's from "Confessions of the Shopaholic".
yeah, he's the boss that Isla dance with and fell in love with.
:)

i can't think of anyone anymore -_-'
because i don't remember their name 0_0
i remember their faces.
yeah, thats fact about me -_-'
remember faces, don't remember time and date -_-'

8th Lucas Till

i remembered him !
the guy who looks so cute in Taylor Swift's video.
and the guy from Hannah Montana.
haha if it wasn't for the movie, i couldn't google him X)
he's cute ? :)

actually, i was going to put David Henrie.
but.. i keep look at him like he's some kind of..
a teenager ?
when he is like 2 years older than me ?
he's not appealling.
he's... attractive :)
pfft, the same meaning KOT -_-'

never mind, i'm gonna put his picture anyway :)
oh, and i know fazra likes him :)

so yummylicious :)

9th Ryeowook

it wouldn't be complete if i didn't put ryeowook in this post :)
it's like forgetting who i really am [not really] :D
he light up my way through the darkness.
and i'm very thankful :)
he's just adorable isn't he ? :D

10th Nickhun

the world has gone mad !!
since when i become madly obsess with nickhun.
no, i will never go back on ryeowook ! X(
*tempted*
no ! stand still fasya. *melting*
pfft, it's no use -_-'
LOL

hubby ! :D
X)
fuh, ok, now i'm back to my senses :P

so yeah.
thats it.
i have done it.

i'm sorry.
there's alot more celebrities that i go gaga everytime i see them on tv,
but i just can't remember their names :/
oh well

i'll post if anything happens.
cool :D
i'll make a folder for hot celebs.
at least it'll be easy for me to remember those hot hotties hot guys ;)

toodles !

ps; i've done it fazra !!
and and i love you !
and i miss u !!
i'm sorry that i haven't been able to update my blog :D

i've become lazy over this CNY -__-'

dontknow why :/

pss; thank you hubby for helping me :)
he gave me a list of hottest guy through his opinion.
never thought that most of it kinda what i like too.
great minds think alike ;)

let's play a love game :)
FASYA
xoxo

Friend Request on Facebook

2010-02-18T06:37:00.002+08:00

50 friend requests awaiting.
hmmmm

the thing is..
it's not that i'm trying to be mean or unfriendly.
heck, it would be totally weird if I, FASYA, become totally not friendly to others.
you can ask huda.
She knows me better than anyone has ever had :D

no seriously, she does :)

back to my point,
i'm not trying to be very snobbish as well either.
heck i love to make friends :D

but the thing is -__-'

i had BAD EXPERIENCES IN ADDING STRANGERS IN MY SOCIAL LINK WEB.

1st!
why the heck do you want to add me for,
if it's only to fill up your stupid empty friends list.

2nd!
who do you think you are ?
adding me just to get to my besties ?
like what the FUDGE ?
if i know where you live, i could have just bomb you straight away 0_o
and I MEAN IT.
no kidding *holding back giggles*
crap :)
i can't be that evil.
but you'll be scared to death if i ever turn evil. hmph ! :|

3rd!
you added me.
you said hello to me once or twice.
and then you just move on with your life.
whats the point ? i tot adding was supposed to mean like, i want to get to know you.
like, HELLO ?? doesn't anyone knows how to myspace/facebook/whatever else anymore ?

4th!
you dont even have the courtesy to thnk me for approving you.
these types of people, only last one week in my friends list.
three strikes and you're OUT !

and with those above stated,
exist my number 5 reason which has become my MAIN reason why i do NOT approve friend request blindly.

5TH!
i seriously don't know you :|
i even have problems remembering people who i know, why do i need to mess up my mind with strangers -__-'

but seriously, it's not that i don't want to get to know you.
i just think,
there's no point of having too many friends, when there's non who could help when you are in pain.
this coming from experiences, okay ? :)

but don't jump to conclusion saying i don't have friends who i could count on.
cause i do ! :D

you know what, i don't want to forget those happy moments.
i want to still keep remember all the laughs that i had, even when i have a bad day.
oh God, why do i have to be so forgetful -__-'
but thankgod i have friends who understands me :D
i'm sorry Huda, i burden u alot :)
but u always stood by me :)

ann who always has to bare with my blurness most of the time XD

and gee, who has to bare with my painful sarcasm XD
i always bully her >:D

and geeja :D
my bibik XD
bahaha XD

i so damn miss them :)

err wait, this post has went to another topic -__-'

never mind ! :D
well, it's already 7 am!

good morning world !
it's time for me to sleep !
bahah XD

ergh, when will i ever change -__-'

ps; hubby dah tido ?
are u dreaming of me ? :P
bahaha loco me -__-'

oh pss; i almost forgot.
there are friends that i know sent me the friend requests.
but i'm not even close to them.
and they have added me on myspace.
but they never commented me or even send a msg on myspace.
so what is the point of me approving in facebook?
the same situation is going to happen anyway.
WASTE OF TIME.
solution? left it in the request box.
i don't want to be rude to just click ignore :)

notetoself: if you think you're not close to me, don't try to act as if you're my bestest bud in the whole world.
it's pathetic :|

lullaby - chase coy
FASYA
xoxo